Destiny Orientation, Part 1

Walking down the hall in the sub-basement of the school district office, I passed a sign that, at first, didn't quite register. The words slipped easily inside my brain. It took a few seconds for the irony to follow. This was the sign: Destiny Orientation. It was being offered in a computer lab. Huh. I wasn't quite sure how they were planning on orienting people to their destiny, but I certainly found the signage humorous.

More than anything else, I wondered how the school district could even suggest knowing anything about orienting people to their destinies. One would think that Destiny Orientation is what education is truly all about ~~ but then, one would be sadly mistaken. Unless one's destiny is about taking tests. Or doing what everyone else around you is doing. Ah, but that's mostly political chatter.

What I want to do is make a sign like this and put it up in my office to see if anyone notices. Or asks what it means. Or if it can open a discussion about what destiny is.... and how one orients oneself toward it.

How do you orient yourself? How do you know where your destiny lies? Where do you think it is? What kind of sign do you need ~ or have you seen ~ pointing it out to you?

Regret Effect

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

~ Alexander Graham Bell

Life brings many opportunities to choose to focus on either the closed door or the open one. Along with that come many chances to feel regret.

Regret leaves an effect behind when it seems to pass us. It's not always an effect we notice or we name, but it is there just the same. There's a palpable sadness, an internal turning back, a yearning for what was. As we turn back, we miss what is present in our lives at this very moment. We fail to recognize the good, the holy in the now.

When we are given the opportunity to ‘return’ to that past moment ~ a reconnection with a previous partner, a replay of a business meeting, a once-favorite fishing hole ~ it doesn’t really matter. We are different now. Time and life have both gone forward and what we ‘remember’ is no longer what it once had been. There really is no going back.

Occasionally we have to force our eyes and our minds forward, toward the open door. We have to accept that the other door has closed, no matter how much we want it to be different. When we move on with purpose and intention, we find there is grace and beauty in that forward motion. The new doorway that has opened brings its own set of joys and challenges. It is the direction of life.

Are there things in your life that you regret? What do you think would/could be different? How has your life progressed past that time? Have you gone through the open door?

New Moon in Cancer

Early Friday morning, the New Moon slid into Cancer, Her home sign. In it She expresses fully as the Great Mother, the Nurturer. Cancer is the sign of deep emotions and connections and family. Both Sun and Moon in Cancer means a double dose of Mama Love!

New Moons are about letting go, shedding, renewal. This New Moon opposes Pluto in Capricorn; the God/dess of the Underworld intimating that what's arriving renewed cannot fit in the constraints of what has gone before. It's about completing projects and moving on. Whatever I cling to, thinking I'm safe and secure, is instead limiting my opportunity to grow and step into a fuller expression of my power. Pluto is all about moving through and transforming feelings of insecurity in order to assure the deeper, truer experience of inner security. Pluto is also about Power. With the New Moon in Cancer, I need to be sure I own my power in all its aspects, including the Shadow side. Which means I need to be aware of all those aspects myself.                                                        

The Cancer New Moon is part of the final ripples of the Grand Cardinal Cross ~ it is a Dark Moon in Cancer, a Cardinal Sign. My focus continues to be the Divine Feminine, observing how the feminine principal is empowered in the world. With so much masculine huffing and puffing going on in the world, from Kim Jong-un's retaliation threat if Seth Rogen's film is released to Bashar al-Assad's willingness to wipe out huge groups of his own people to Iraq's loss of control in many key areas to John Boehner suing President Obama, the Divine Mother needs to be invited in to help settle the testosterone battles. If enough of us call on the Divine Feminine, perhaps things can change direction.

How do you honor a New Moon? Have you been feeling deeper emotional connection and conflict the past few days? What do you do in response? How do you honor the Divine Feminine?

By All Means Paint

Six Sunflowers by Vincent Van Gogh

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” 

― Vincent van Gogh

On a beautiful summer day, Van Gogh's sunflowers imitate reality with their brightness and lively color. I am always amazed by the intensity of the blues and golds that Van Gogh used. Every stroke brings the image to life. Every slight shift of color infuses it with movement.

His quote also amazes me. I cannot count the number of times in my life I've heard that voice saying, you cannot....  Many times I didn't listen, I simply did whatever I chose and let that voice fall into silence. There were some times, however, when I did listen. Maybe not to the full you cannot...., but certainly to the voice telling me that I was better off where I was, doing what I was, staying the path I was on. That voice keeps me abreast of the status quo ~ or closer to it than I might have wandered otherwise.

 Do I regret the decision to listen to that voice? Sometimes. The truth for me lies muddled in between. Sometimes I wasn't ready to move on. Sometimes I wanted to be more adventurous. Sometimes I felt frustrated. Sometimes I was seeking a way out of that frustration. Mostly, I recognize that my life has been its own version of a miracle, filled with wonder and joy, adventure and challenge.

What does that inner voice say to you? Have you listened to the you cannot...? Have you moved beyond it? How do you feel about your choice?

Happy Sayings

In an article at inc.com, Bill Murphy, Jr. lists several things happy people say:

• "I'm happy to see you."
• "Remember when you..."
• "You might not realize this, but..."
• "You're really great at..."
• "You really impressed me when..."
• "I believe in you."
• "I'd like to hear your thoughts about...."
• "Tell me more."
• "I took your suggestion."
• "I'm sorry."
• "I'd like to be more like you."
• "Thank you."
• "You're welcome."
• "No."

Even though this relates directly to the work place, it's also true in our contact with people every day. When our focus is on others ~ letting them know they're important to us, telling them we think highly of them, acknowledging their contributions ~ we feel better overall. We feel better about ourselves too. We should say these things when we truly believe them ~ every time we think of saying them.

Sometimes I stop myself from saying "Thank you" or "You did a great job" because I think my compliment or comment is sentimental, trivial or out of line. When I say what I sincerely believe, I'm often met with smiles. I am too good at over-thinking.

One of the most difficult statements to make is "I'm sorry." It's easier when the reason is outside my control, like an illness or an accident or something of that nature. It's not as easy when I'm apologizing for making a mistake. What I know is that apologizing often clears the air for everyone to move on. It's not that others don't know the mistake was made, it's that I own up to making it. I take responsibility for my actions, or inactions.

Another difficult statement is the single word "No." I want to be able to say "Yes" to everything asked of me. Somehow, I believe that saying "Yes" means I'm generous and will win me some sort of points. However, that's not true. Sometimes I am not able to stretch myself as much as I'd like to do. When I find I can't do it all, those commitments start to slide and I feel even worse about myself than if I said "No" in the first place.

Although I don't believe in any absolute in terms of this list, I understand the power of making these statements on a regular basis. They turn my focus to others, and I feel better, happier, when I do that.

What about you? Do any of these statements register with you in terms of your personal happiness scale? How do you respond when people say these statements to you?

Resting

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time."

~ John Lubbock, The Use of Life

In our busy, perpetual motion world, sometimes slipping away and finding a place to rest, to relax, to slow down enough to breathe, is the best thing we can do for ourselves. So much of our time is spent being busy ~ with work, with email and the internet, with friends and family ~ a busyness that takes its toll on our mental and emotional health. We begin to think in terms of "When can I get enough time for...?" or "If I only had the time, I'd..." or "Maybe I can do that next...." Time becomes a commodity we bargain with. Taking time to rest, taking time to simply stop and be still, seems beyond our ken.

I've been taking that kind of time for myself lately. I haven't pushed to write these blogs. I've even missed a few days.... and forgiven myself for doing so. I have books to read, reports to write, applications to fill out, people to call. Instead, I've been sitting on my porch, or in front of Starbucks or in the park, resting, relaxing, letting my mind wander wherever it chooses to roam. I find myself lost in creative moments that I do not write down or attempt to capture in any form. I know that the rest, the wandering thoughts, the purposeful quietude, will bring forth the creativity when the time is right. I know that 'wasting time' is decidedly not a waste of time. Its benefits bring me breath and joy.

Do you allow yourself to rest? How do you rest? What form does your 'wasting time' take? What benefit/s does it bring to you? How do you feel after a bout of 'wasting time'?

Shedding Tension

"Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world."

~ Ada Louise Huxtable

Shedding tensions. Summer certainly has that potential. The weather is warmer and the days are brighter, longer. Grass grows faster. Flowers bloom brighter. Fruit ripens and is sweet to the taste. Everything and everyone turns towards the sun. Long days provide more time for celebration and relaxation. Travel happens frequently during the summertime and people are pleasant when they are able to shed the drudgery of their homes and go elsewhere. Returning home is a joy after a trip. It's the place we are willing to return to. Even though we are there regularly all the rest of the year, in the summer everything just seems better.

Shedding tensions. Warmth is a relaxant. It eases stiff and sore muscles. Summer provides me the opportunity to shift gears. There are fairs and open air markets and concerts in the park during the summer. These events are all over and readily accessible. Even at later evening hours, it is still light outside when returning from them. With activity and accessibility comes the chance to see people I miss seeing in the winter. I love the slower pace, the brighter days, the shifting sense of time. With less tension, I relax into the joy of right timing for everything.

What is it about summer that helps you to shed tension? What makes summer different from the other seasons for you? How does it help you feel that all's right with the world?