More Musings on Most Feared Woman

After publishing my blog post on a political woman not requiring validation, I thought it would be useful to reflect on a spiritual woman not requiring validation.

Who might that woman be? Any one of the women around you. Every one of the women. Are you aware of the spiritual life of the women in your life?

When we express with and from our soul, we are connected to our depths. We often hide what resides there ~ as though it were a part of us that needed protection instead of being the part that armors by disarming.

Men are not expected to require validation. In my experience, many probably could use it. Men want validation from other men and from the women in their lives as much as women want it. It's just that they request or demand it in different ways.

A woman who does not require validation is a woman of strength. In the spiritual sense, she is someone who does not fear what comes her way. She recognizes herself in every attacker as completely as she knows that she has nothing in common with that person. She finds laughter in the midst of difficulties and focuses on the needs and accomplishments of others as much as or more than her own. She does not need another person to tell her any of these things.... she knows in her depths who she is and what she is capable of.

We often name those women saints. Whether through a formal process or not, we recognize the individual women as holy and their lives as profound. Yet, if we look deeply enough at ourselves and our women companions, we catch glimpses of those holy moments in ourselves and those companions. We find grace in not needing validation, in knowing that who we are and what we do belongs. Those moments save us.

How do you find validation? Do you expect it from others? want it from them? How do you find it in yourself? Do you consciously validate others? If so, what does that look like? If not, why not? Do you fear the women who do not require your validation to proceed with their lives?

Belonging

The first time I read this quote ~ many years ago ~ I found myself wondering: Why would it be different for a woman than for a man?

Having been a feminist for most, if not all, of my life, it wasn't because I believed everything was the same in the world for men and for women. The question rose because I wondered why a woman could understand global citizenship and a man might have difficulty with that consideration.

As I've encountered this quote over and over again, I've grown to realize it is about a sense of belonging. Once I understood, intuitively understood, how small and fragile and strong our world is, I could no longer simply consider myself a citizen of one small corner of it, of one nation, one state, one city. What I do, or what I choose not to do, affects far more than me and my immediate surroundings. I feel a kinship with women throughout the world.

Considering myself a citizen of the whole world holds me accountable for my actions in a vastly different way. I am responsible for learning more about how people live in the rest of the world, about how politics affects their freedom and their access to goods and services that I may take for granted, about how my consumption patterns ripple to affect availability of food and water for others.

This point of view, this rejection of belonging to a country with arbitrary boundaries and artificial borders, gives me pause to accept and embrace belonging to something grander, on a larger scale, to belonging to the entirety of humanity. It's different for me, as a woman, because I feel a kinship with women in other countries already. Girls are kidnapped in Nigeria and I weep, knowing the horror I'd feel if that were my daughter. Women are raped as part of a war in Syria and I weep, feeling the violation ripple through my own body. In South Africa, 49% of maternal deaths are attributable to HIV/AIDS, and I weep, knowing men keep the information and protection away from women and children lose their mothers at an early age. When I think of myself as belonging to the global community, then the release of the final Hunger Games movie and who wins the NBA finals or if California Chrome is going to win the Triple Crown slip into an entirely different context.

Where do you find a sense of belonging? What emotions emerge when you think about that place? when you are actually there, if there is a physical place for it? Do you feel more comfortable as a citizen of a particular neighborhood? city? state? country? or the world?

Being Solitary and Be~longing

For years, I've thought solitude and being solitary were the same thing. But they're not. I like my alone time, my solitude, my down time. Time alone gets me more deeply in touch with Spirit.

Being solitary is a different shift in my soul. I am alone and happy in that aloneness. I face that big empty space of not having a partner beside me to walk in the same direction. My trust in Spirit providing is full trust in the Ineffable One, the One Who Is.

I know people who are fine with moments, even days, of solitude. Time for themselves, for meditation, for writing, playing, creating, whatever lies in that deeper moment of themselves.

Those same people are not often comfortable with BEING alone, with a solitary existence. They pass their time in solitude knowing that at some point in the relatively near future, they are going to be back in the company of their partner or friends or family. They've gone away on vacation. Period. TTFN, nothing more.

Living a solitary life means finding that core spot within, the spot where others are not there to serve us, help us, keep us safe. They are there to BE with us, to simply live side by side. It's knowing where I stop and you begin. Knowing that at any point, the tide can change, I can be alone again, and I can survive.

What do you do with solitude? How does it affect you? How do you define the difference between a solitary life and solitude? How do you live a solitary life? How does it balance or unbalance you?