Getting Past Giving Up

Some days I want to give up. Nothing extreme like suicide or running away to join the circus. I don't have to go far to find that circus ~~ maybe it's giving up on the circus. I'm not sure. Resting on my chest is a sense of lost. Yes, I meant lost, not loss. Quiet, soft, yet smothery..... a hard-to-breathe get-me-outta-here moment. Ever have one of those?

It's not as though anything big has happened or anything significant has gone wrong. There are little things: the ironing board that fell on my foot, the less-than-supportive comments of my co-workers, the horn-blowing fool behind me on a packed street, the canceled writing session.... all a bunch of little things that individually ~ and even collectively ~ amount to very little. Yet that sense of 'lost' ~ of being adrift while all around me are sailing on by with a sense of purpose.

Maybe that's it ~ the lost sense of purpose. Asking those deep answerless questions. Seeking what truly, at the moment, isn't there.

Then I go for a walk in the neighborhood. Standing on a slight elevation, I turn back toward home and THIS is what I see. The mountain framed by trees. Looking like the top of a sno-cone. The beauty and intimacy of it ~ with no one else around to see it or me ~ takes my breath away. I pull out my phone to snap a slightly-out-of-focus picture and realize that sense of lost, of giving up, of blah disappears. In its place is a peaceful re-connection with awe, with the Ineffable, with Ruah ~ the Breath of Life. I am grateful.

What do you do when the blahs hit? How do they feel? What gets you past giving up?

More Things to Give Up

Full disclosure of the obvious type: I did not make up this list (the URL is at the top of the picture).

I like this list. I've returned to it again and again because I get caught up in doing some of these things and freezing myself in time and space.

The ones appearing most recently in my life are #3 Being indecisive about what you want, #4 Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you, and # 8 Making excuses rather than decisions. These are my personal free-roaming 'Gang of Three.' They feed each other. My excuses allow for my indecisiveness which fuels my procrastination. One version of it goes something like this: "There's too much going on and I really only have time to do one of the things on my list. But I don't know which one to do." *fret-fret-fret* "Now it's getting/gotten too late to do any of it....." *whine-whine*

When I catch myself doing that routine, I stop mid-fret, mid-whine, mid-thought and DO something that moves me off that particular track. Most of the time, I do one of the 'things' on my list. It lifts my mood ~ and I actually accomplish something. It doesn't have to be a lot or the entirety of my list or even the task. Whatever it is, it something rather than more non-movement.

Which of the "10 Things" gets in your way most often? Or is there another way you sabotage yourself and your forward movement? What do you do to shift your direction?

What am I Giving Up?

After reading some of my recent blogs that reference Lent, a friend said, "I thought Lent was about giving up something." That made me think about what I was giving up.... and whether that's what Lent is really about.

What am I giving up? As I was growing up, it was usually food of some sort: chocolate, sweets, soda, potato chips. I tried giving up spinach one time, but Mom wouldn't let me. Notice the pattern? Giving up something that's not necessarily good for you anyway. This year I've determined to give up excuses for not writing in my blog. Or not writing period. It's easy to say (or whine) about being busy or tired or not having anything important to say or.... need I continue? I've managed to miss only one day since Ash Wednesday. The excuses are wearing thin.

Lent provides a venue for me to reflect on where I'm stuck and what I need to leverage for things to flow freely again. That's true whether I give up food of any sort or an attitude I may have or excuses keeping me from doing what is in my best interest and for my highest good.

What Lent is about is reflection and awareness, looking for new growth and greening. It's about preparing ~ for whatever comes next.

What new growth are you seeing in your life? What else would you like to see? What hampers your flow? What could you give up to improve the flow?

More Things to Give Up

Full disclosure of the obvious type: I did not make up this list (the URL is at the top of the picture).

I like this list. I've returned to it again and again because I get caught up in doing some of these things and freezing myself in time and space.

The ones appearing most recently in my life are #3 Being indecisive about what you want, #4 Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you, and # 8 Making excuses rather than decisions. These are my personal free-roaming 'Gang of Three.' They feed each other. My excuses allow for my indecisiveness which fuels my procrastination. One version of it goes something like this: "There's too much going on and I really only have time to do one of the things on my list. But I don't know which one to do." *fret-fret-fret* "Now it's getting/gotten too late to do any of it....." *whine-whine*

When I catch myself doing that routine, I stop mid-fret, mid-whine, mid-thought and DO something that moves me off that particular track. Most of the time, I do one of the 'things' on my list. It lifts my mood ~ and I actually accomplish something. It doesn't have to be a lot or the entirety of my list or even the task. Whatever it is, it something rather than more non-movement.

Which of the "10 Things" gets in your way most often? Or is there another way you sabotage yourself and your forward movement? What do you do to shift your direction?