Teabag Tarot: Constancy

It's been waaay too long since I've written in this blog. Much has happened. Nothing has happened. Everything has happened. The past year has been busy, overfull, quiet, reflective, healing, amazing. Time for another shift.

The trigger for this shift? This Teabag Tarot hangs from my cup of steeping tea. I smile. It touches my endless soul, nudging me back to writing. Yay! Whew! It's about time! Words are important. They have the power to create and to destroy.

The framing of this small statement pointed me toward creation. Not only is our soul constant, continuous and endless. So is the beauty of that soul. The assumption is obvious: belief not only in the existence of the soul, but also in its continuity.

My personal focus is on its constancy. The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines constancy as steadfastness of mind under duress. That's the point. No matter what is going on. No matter the storms flinging themselves at our door. No matter the beauty or horror or tediousness in our lives. The beauty that lies at the core of our being is constant. *Sigh* What a concept! Something that we can rely on not because it reflects our outer world, but because it simply is that way.

Do you believe in your own soul? If not, what do you believe in? If so, how does it show you its existence? What beauty does your soul bring to the world? How does it provide constancy to and for you?

Created by Our Past

When we are in the midst of growing up, everything around us helps build us into the person we will eventually become. Some things are simply part of our nature: introvert or extrovert, tall or short, spontaneous or ponderous, etc. Either by genetics or some other natural event, these characteristics are within us from birth.

Then there are those events that happen to, with and around us that shape us as well: critical significant adults, abuse, illness, socio-economic status, etc. These are different sorts of variables in our lives. Yet they shape us as surely as our genetics do.

Yesterday, I had a conversation regarding someone with whom I've worked fairly closely for a number of years. Whenever this person feels pressure, someone else also feels it ~ and I've been one of those someones. As I'm leaving the situation where all of this has occurred, our conversation revolved around two of the latest encounters as well as who may be their next someone or target.

I realized as we chatted was that, although I've felt hurt and even angry after the encounters, my long-term residual awareness was of their woundedness. Something in the past left an ugly, painful mark. The pains from my own past were also reflected in our encounters. I allowed the hurt and anger to rise. I talked about the encounters to others in order to feel better about myself. I played out the poor me role to whatever extent my hurt feelings projected it. I acknowledge we are both playing out roles created somewhere in our past. I am interested in growing beyond the need to play those roles, in letting go of the elements in my past that created them. We'll see if I can do that before I leave.

What wounds from your past create upsets in your present? How can you let go of them? or heal them? What purpose do these upsets serve in your life? What can replace them?

Becoming a Hero

As I was flipping through pages on the internet, I came across a catchy statement: She needed a hero, so she became one. I searched for an image with the quote and found this one with a variation on the theme.

We often think of heroes in terms of war. There's always conflict and a reason for someone to enter the fray and save lives. Even our love of superheroes, be they Marvel comic heroes or otherwise, illuminates our sense of needing rescue.

What most attracts me to this image is that she is revealing herself to be Superwoman. She is visible and unafraid. Her head is up and she has a determined look on her face. She is unshakable. She is also beautiful ~ and she exudes confidence and awareness.

She defies the concept of the helpless female crying for the bulging-muscled, ripped abs male hero to save her. Or of the princess looking for the handsome prince to awaken or complete her. It's clear that she creates herself in the image of the hero. Or perhaps creates the hero in the image of herself. Either way, she recognizes that she can become one. She doesn't need rescuing by anyone; she stands up for herself, takes care of herself, watches out for herself.

The quote touches a deep place in me. Growing up in an era where women as a group, rather than individually, were beginning to see themselves as independent and capable, the notion of needing a man remained a subtle subtext. As time marched forward, that subtext became smaller and much less legible. My daughter, another generation completely, operates in a world where being your own hero, your own superhero, no matter who you may be.

Who are your heroes? How are you a hero? Do you continue to look to others to save you? How do you rescue others? How do you define a hero?

Am I a Writer?

Words repeat inside my head:
If you want to be a writer, you have to write.
And:
Waiting until you feel inspired, may keep you waiting forever to write.

The questions arise again. Those internal insecurities about being good enough... creative... about having something to say... about someone wanting to read what I write.

What do I need to write? Not very much. Stories float around inside my head. Questions, curiosities, challenges all start my thoughts forming characters, places, quests. An image of a rope tumbled on the beach begins here:
He grabbed hold of the rope and tugged, checking the tension, feeling the strength. It held fast. He put his hands, one ahead of the other, on the rope, set his left foot against the rock face at knee level and pulled himself up. His right foot found purchase on the rock face, and he was off. Hand over hand, feet moving up the rocks.....

This is one of the adventures floating through from that image. Where will it go from here? The stories crowd inside me, looking for passage from one world to the next. The only require a pinhole to find their way out.

I need time, a computer or tablet, paper and pen or pencil. The first often is the most fragile, the slipperiest to reach. Now on to use mine differently.

What do you desire to create? How strong is your desire? How do you define yourself? How do you want to define yourself? What will you do to make your best definition come true?