Ask Better Questions

Questions elicit answers in their likeness. Answers mirror the questions they…meet. So while a simple question can be precisely what's needed to drive to the heart of the matter, it's hard to meet a simplistic question with anything but a simplistic answer. It's hard to transcend a combative question. But it's hard to resist a generous question. We all have it in us to formulate questions that invite honesty, dignity, and revelation. There is something redemptive and life-giving about asking better questions.

                                        - Krista Tippett

Schools on all levels often teach the Who-What-When-Where-Why-How method of questioning. Using those questions once was the sign of a good investigator as well as a good reporter. It was about getting to the crux of the matter, exploring the details, and cross-checking the facts. Those questions, couched in a variety of other wordings, informed our opinions as they taught us about the many facets and faces of the world around us.

Some people worded their questions to elicit specific responses ~ either in word or in denial. Many asked questions from a mindset that expects particular responses. We learned to listen with ears attuned to words we wanted to hear. It's no longer about finding the facts or telling the most complete version of the story. It's about proving ourselves right. Getting the story out there first took precedence ~ and if some facts were inaccurate, well, we could update it later. Nevermind that most people would never see or hear the update.

To get back to that place of curiosity and wonder, we have to relearn how to do less guiding with our questions. Ask more open-ended, generous and invitational queries. Ask better questions ~ not only in their complexity, but also in their authenticity and genuineness. Set an intention to invite and welcome others, whether they are family, friends, neighbors or total strangers. As we open ourselves to asking better questions, we learn more about those around us. We develop a more sincere way to express ourselves in the world as well.

What questions would you want someone to ask you? How do you respond to quick or simplistic questions? What questions form themselves in your mind when you meet a new person? What keeps you from asking them? How do you pursue conversations with others? Why is it important to you to ask ~ and be asked ~ open and authentic questions?

Watching Like a Cat

In myth and lore, magic and mystery, Cat has nine lives, curiosity, independence, cleverness, unpredictability and healing, and is at home in the dark, often associated with fears. Cat helps people move through their fears efficiently.

The energy field of a cat rotates in a counterclockwise direction, the opposite of a human energy field, giving cats the ability to absorb and neutralize energy that affects humans in a negative way. This is part of cat's healing medicine.

I'm always fascinated by the poses my cats take. Lazing across a chair on a hot afternoon, this cat practically hangs his head over the edge of the chair, surveying his domain. He looks half asleep, but if anything moves, he's up and ready to pounce.

One of the qualities attributed to cats is patience. I've found that patience is and is not a cat trait. On the one hand, it often appears Cat can wait forever for something to move. On the other hand, if something moves elsewhere, Cat shifts focus to the new movement. Personally, this exhibits Cat's propensity for being in the Moment. "Well," Cat seems to conclude, "if there's no movement or life here, maybe the movement over there will be tasty." Yes, I also believe everything Cat does is related to its stomach.... Why else does it need to pounce?

How does that single-mindedness relate to me? I often find myself so completely focused on a thought or description or desire that nothing else matters. What I like about Cat's way is that when there is movement elsewhere, perhaps I would be better off with a refocus of my attention. Something new to practice while I laze around on a hot late summer afternoon!

What trait or traits do you see in Cat? Which draws your attention? How does that trait show up in your life? How can you practice it?

Be Curious

This morning's tea bag came with advice: be curious. What a great focus for the day! I began with noticing the way the light played on the grass; the shimmer of bright reflected on the car; the rosy tint surrounding the clouds as the sun rose. My beginnings were about observation. What was different about today? The light? The sound? My focus?

At work I allowed the flow of the day to run its course. We had a meeting and I focused on being present ~ I know that's not the same as being curious, but it led to curious questions along with the discovery that answers were not necessary. Answers were not about curiosity, questions were.

• How is being present different from sitting there daydreaming?
• Why would I want to be present?
• What purpose does it serve?
• What can I do differently each day?
• Can I be present every moment?
• How can one NOT be present in one's life?

That teeny tag attached to my tea bag brought moments of diversion, joy and curiosity to my world today. I wonder what tomorrow's teabag will say....

Do any of your teabags carry message tags? If so, what does your message mean for you? Do you take teabag tag messages as omens? What other signs and wonders are in your life today?

Heights of Experience

The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.

~ Emily Dickinson

Whenever I'm walking and see a door ajar or a gate or garage door partly open, it feels like an invitation to investigate, to enter and look around. Admittedly, I feel that way with ladders and outside stairways as well. My inner voice switches to auto-note: "Hmmm. I wonder where that leads?"

Most often, I've stopped myself from actually following through on the investigation. Another voice advises caution ~~ I generally opt to listen to that one in this form of reality. My mind creates the adventure beyond the barely open entry or stairway. It encourages my creativity.

What Dickinson says goes another step beyond ~~ to making a choice to leave the soul ajar, inviting experiences of the Divine to enter.  Can I welcome that? Sometimes, I can; other times, not so much. The ecstatic experience, though rich, passionate and wonderful, leaves me vulnerable as well as out of control. I love the feeling and fear it in equal measure. I guess that means I need to experience more of them so the joy outweighs the fear!

Do you allow yourself to be open to experiencing the Divine? How do you experience It? How open are you to leaving your soul ajar? What does that mean to you?

In the Flow

photo by Warren Nistad

Stream of Live
by Rabindranath Tagore

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.

It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth in numberless blades of grass and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.

It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth and of death, in ebb and flow.

I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.


When I saw this image posted by a friend, several thoughts and feelings occurred at once: I knew where it was taken, I acknowledged that Canada geese are not my favorite birds, I stared at the reflection of a perfect, beautiful sun. What a gloriously evocative image!

This image mirrors wonderfully the Tagore poem. "The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs through the world...." Amazing! That same stream of life runs through the Canada goose and the pond as well. The energy that animates me also animates and fills every other corner and faction of life. Every little piece and bit of it. Every nuance of life. I am nothing more, nor less, that every piece of creation.


"It is the same life ... of birth and of death, in ebb and flow." What synchronicity! This week I've been discussing encounters with death (mine and others) and a renewed vision of birth. The ebb and flow of conversation carried me along on its current to a better understanding of the circle of birth, death, renewal, rebirth. The ebb and flow of life shows itself in the blossoming of the trees and flowers all around me.

What helps you through the dark times? What actions in your life show you a direction in which you may head? What do you do if it is different from your expectations?

Writers Sometimes Give Up.....

©2013 Mary-Lynne Monroe

I was looking for some word of inspiration and turned to one of my favorite poets ~ Mary Oliver. This tidbit showed up in the quote stream found on the internet. I felt called into it... like Alice tumbling through the looking glass... only to see myself both reflected within and without.

As I've been writing these posts over the past month ~ and posting links to them in more public venues than my blog itself ~ I find my curiosity peaked to know what draws people in to read? what phrasing catches them? what line connects to the line of their lives? When I fell into this quote and let it surround me... when it flowed into me and was absorbed... I recognized that my curiosity and my questions sometimes took me off the track of my own writing and onto the track of writing what someone else might want. So, whether or not anyone chooses to read what I write, I am reminded to be true to myself, to the call of my own rough-edged myths and let that be what I write.

Gratitude flows around me like a mist. Gratitude for the teachers and mentors in my life. Gratitude for friends. Gratitude for every moment of life itself.

What motivates you? What "rough edges" do you smooth out to 'accommodate' others? What are you called to do with your life?