Before Beginning

In the aftermath of any world-changing news or event, grief bubbles up and overflows. It's difficult to even consider moving forward. There is a stuckness in the heart and soul. All passion focuses on grief ~ and not necessarily by choice. Sometimes it feels as though we are not in our own skin ~ something or someone else occupies a significant part of us.

Honestly, world-changing events can deal with our personal world ~ e.g., losing a job, a partnership break-up, the death of a pet ~ or with the wider world around us ~ e.g., a favorite/popular store closing, a tornado hitting a neighboring town, unexpected election results. Any or all of these can throw us into emotional turmoil. We live in a culture that says, essentially, Suck it up and move on. Which adds to the burden because now we feel guilty or shamed for not being able to let go.

Leonard Cohen ~ who's death this week touched millions of fans ~ had something to say about that: How can I begin anything new with all of yesterday in me? We can only get through when we allow yesterday to have its time in us, even if that moves on into tomorrow. To truncate that passage leaves us feeling even more uneasy, unsure and insecure.

Once we're working, crawling or climbing out of that grief ~ and it's not a linear action ~ we can begin the new work again. Some of the warriors among us can move on more quickly. That's part of who they are. Regroup and move forward. Some of the healers among us also move on more quickly. Assess the damages, move in to protect and heal. Some of the prophets among us are already making speeches, taking steps, encouraging. We need all of these people. We also need those who are open enough to feel the depth of the woundedness. Some of them are the recipients of the bigotry, fear and vitriol that is spewing forth. Each and all of us are needed. Some are quicker to get back to work. Others need more time to deal with all of yesterday. That's okay as we continue to support each other.

Where are you in the healing process? Where are those closest to you? What is your forest for trees blindness? How much of yesterday is still strong within you? What are you prepared to do to support others in moving on as well? What step will be your beginning?

Getting By With Friends

Currently, many of my friends are in various stages of hurt or alarm or fear or struggle. It's almost as though the Universe is calling upon us to realign our very selves. [Which may indeed be the case, but that's for a different post.]

Some of my friends need to move ~ from one coast to another; from one town to another; from one country to another. Each move is calling forth vastly different strengths from these folks.... and from their friends.

Some of my friends struggle with aging and dying parents ~ arranging hospice; supervising trips and moves; sitting beside them as they breathe their last; organizing memorials. So many different ways to do and be with those changes.

Some of my friends face their own health issues ~ knee replacements; stents; diabetes; broken bones; hypertension. The lists of these can go on and on; and eventually will.

As we go through these issues, these stresses, we have the opportunity to reach out to each other, to be a support and to have support. It's most difficult when we think we can handle it all alone. Or we think no one else cares. Or we think asking means we are weak. Our self-judgement makes us forget what John Lennon so wonderfully sang: I get by with a little help from my friends. We need each other. Community is what provides support, and we are that community.

These are each and all things I need to remember myself!

What is going on in your life that could be eased by connecting with a friend? How could you ease a friend's way through a troubled time? Why is it important to you to do that?