Flower or Weed?

Today's Teabag Tarot brought many recent discussions to mind. We've discussed the recent elections which brings out a full range of vocalized opinions. We've discussed various circles from family to friends to work buddies ~ and all the intricacies of being with and around them. We've discussed the weather, the traffic, the latest store closure or opening. We've discussed how to prepare turkey and what to put into the dressing and which bell-ringers should or should not be singing holiday songs. In other words, every possible topic under the sun.

As each topic arises and is discussed, everyone's personal opinion about it surfaces as well. Although some topics, such as the elections, may bring out fierce commentaries, most of them have the potential to create impassioned statements.

One topic thoroughly discussed in the past week was the preparation of the Thanksgiving turkey ~ specifically, the preparation of the dressing. Savory? Sweet? Giblets? Oyster? In the turkey? Separate? The list of topics goes on forever. Everyone has an opinion, a preference, and wants to be heard.

So ~ in the midst of these discussions, this Teabag Tarot appears: The difference between a flower and a week is a judgment. I paused in my listening to the specific words. Each person has their point of view. For one person, adding the giblets was the flower and for the other person, it was the weed. Each has their position, their judgment, and was not interested in budging from that spot.

I thought about other conversations I'd participated in or listened to. Most of them remained civil even when strongly different opinions surfaced. The Teabag Tarot revealed the core of the discourse: what we stand on is simply our judgment. It's good to reflect on that ~ and on the similarity we share with our opponent as we do.

How many discussions have you had today ~ or this week ~ where someone changed their position? How strongly did you feel about your flower? their weed? About what topics are you most passionate? Which topics matter less?

You Must Not Fear

 Mary-Lynne Monroe ©2015

"You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings. It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to imbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing. Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications. something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them. If it seems to you that I move in a world of certitudes, ... you move in a world of mysteries. But both must be ruled by faith."

~ Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin, Vol. 4: 1944-47

In 1944, Anais Nin was 41 years old. She was famous for her diaries, her openness about the fullness of life and her expression of that fullness with passion and gusto. Earlier in this passage, she also writes:
What is it that attracts me to the young? When I am with mature people I feel their rigidities, their tight crystallizations. They have become, at least in my eyes, like the statues of the famous. Achieved. Final.

We live in a world both blessed and cursed by rigidity and crystallization. The rigidity creates the rules that keep order and flow in a reasonable fashion. It also creates the rifts as people grab for the tight space that they can call their own ~ forgetting that we get farther together. The crystallization polarizes us, freezes us into one form. We act as though we can't be flexible, can't change, can't learn new views on things.

I've found myself in that rigid, crystallized position a few times in my life. As though I had all the answers and no one could tell me anything. As though there was nothing new to learn. Most of the time, I'm there out of fear. Is it possible there is something I don't know or am not an expert in? For a knowledge-junkie, that is a frightening position to be in. Hence, my rigidity born of fear. Then there's the crystallization born from judgment and/or privilege. I've been guilty of thinking because someone holds a certain position or status (youth, inexperience, handicapping condition, socio-economic status), they don't have the capacity to know something I don't.

Fortunately, those times have been few and far between, but even being there once is something for which I am not proud. I'm humbled by the sharing, acceptance and knowledge of  others. Most of the time, I am no longer fearful to say there's something I don't know. I've learned to share the emotions as well, to open to the mystery ~ and the greater Mystery, and allow my intuition to lead. Then my "great art" ~ my writing ~ flows from the depths of me. Then I am willing to be with and among everyone, learning and sharing. All without certitude.

Where do you find yourself to be rigid? What crystallizes your attitude? your interactions with others? What is your "great art"? How do you practice it? What creates flow for you?

Being Thankful

Today is the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving: the most-traveled weekend and one of the most family-oriented holidays. Something about giving thanks reminds us of family even if our definition of family is different. For some it is blood relations. For others it is family-of-choice. For many it is a blending of blood relations, marriage relations and friends. A time when we open our hearts and our homes to others.

At some point, I learned to be thankful for everything. Perhaps it came in young adulthood with the Bible verse that says In everything give thanks. Although I don't recall ever following that as precisely as it directs, I learned to acknowledge and express my gratitude more and more.

According to the Law of Attraction, we draw to us whatever it is we think and talk about. The more I felt and expressed my gratitude, the more I found coming my way to be grateful for. I'm not sure if it was that more wonderful things happened or that I was noticing more of what was already there.

I plan to regularly acknowledge more of the things for which I am grateful even beyond this Thanksgiving season. At this moment, some of the things are simple: clean sheets, heat, cold pack for my jammed toe, the cat. Other things are essential: my partner, my daughter, my family and friends. Still others, though non-essential, bring me joy, peace, camaraderie: my Starbucks' kaffeeklatsch, my exercise class, my Facebook writing support. Once begun, I find myself on a roll until I mention even the most minute item. My best time to consider them is before falling asleep. In the space of being thankful, I sleep far more peacefully.

For what are you thankful? How do you categorize your gratitude? Do you have ~ or have you had ~ a gratitude practice? What is/was it? Have you noticed the more you express your gratitude, the more things come your way to be grateful for? Why do you think that is? How do you celebrate Thanksgiving?

Learning Emotional Hygiene

Whew! A month bubbling over with emotion, with many reasons for anger ~ rage, even ~ from financial insecurity to holiday preparations gone awry to campaigning and election results to treatment of protesters and law enforcement personnel. People on all sides of every issue have legitimate reasons for that anger. No one is immune; no one is excluded; no one has the corner on outrage.

I've found myself in the midst of various moments of outrage, having difficulty maintaining my composure. I use many techniques, including deep breathing and counting to 5 before responding. Yet I still find myself flopping into bed at night, overcome by physical exhaustion.

So I went in search of advice. Even though I know the truth of what the Dalai Lama says, I've had issues maintaining my emotional hygiene. Several conscious actions have helped me improve:

• Breathe deeply when outdoors. I find that so much more grounding than deep breaths in the house, the store or the local pub. It's been raining on and off in my neighborhood and the ozone rejuvenates me.
• Write down my dreams, whether from sleep or my lucid mind. That provides a time ~ while writing ~ to recognize, acknowledge and release whatever emotions are bubbling below the surface. When I'm done writing, I consciously let go. Sometimes they return ~ and that's okay. It simply gives me a reason to once again let go. No judgement.
• Limit my contact with social media that may incite the anger. No, I don't stay totally away from it ~ not even for a day. I skim stories or headlines or read comments from particular trusted people or sites. Sometimes, I choose to read the entirety of the article so I have a clearer understanding.
• Take my camera with me on walks in the neighborhood and in nature. I can use my phone camera too, but what I do is focus on finding several images of interest: rain dripping from yellowed leaves, the moonrise, children playing on park swings. Creativity takes me out of that other emotional state ~ whatever other it may be.
• Listen to music. Music plays in the background of almost everywhere we go that isn't outdoors. I take a minute or five to sit or stroll listening to what is playing. Generally, it changes my mood too.
• Do my spiritual practice. We each have something. Even people who are agnostics or atheists have something they do religiously to keep themselves present in the world. For me, it's meditation ~ and writing. Sometimes it even includes art. Something I do where my focus can be soft and my brain allowed to wander without my mind paying attention.

I like what these practices do to keep my emotions awake in the compassion arena without being too overrun by anger, frustration and confusion. I'm not saying they're easy. As I said, I'm still often exhausted when I go to bed at night.

What practice/s help you release anger or resentment? Do you agree with the Dalai Lama about emotional hygiene? about compassion? How do you practice self-compassion? How do you support others around you in/with their self-compassion?

Trees Breathing

Recently, I had the incredible experience of staying with a friend in a cabin in the woods. One of my favorite activities was walking among the trees. Looking up at those that soared above me, my heart filled with awe. Their majestic stance along with the silence of the otherwise empty forest left me without words.

My mind emptied. My eyes absorbed the beauty. My ears tuned in to the breath of nature. My heart slowed, as did my normally hurried pace. My nostrils took in the greenness of the area. I felt comforted by the loveliness and calm of my surroundings.

When we have experiences like this, especially after the rush and bother of our routines, it opens us to a changed view of ourselves in relationship to the wider world. It also reminds us that we are not here to conquer nature, but to live with it, to cherish it, to protect it. We need those moments of listening to the trees breathing, those moments of stillness, those moments of recognizing there is more to this world.

Being in that forest refreshed me. I returned to my routine life feeling less absorbed in me. It also presented me with a renewed vision of connection and relevance. The trees reminded me that even a brief time with them is revitalizing ~ and that I don't have to find my way to the woodlands to experience it. There are trees all around various parts of my neighborhood. Maybe next time, I'll slow down and commune with them as well!

Where do you find refreshment? How do you respond to the 'voices' of nature? What moves you to slow down? What is most important in your life? How do you combine and protect all that strike you as important?

Play a Role

When I first read The Alchemist, it absorbed me like no other book I was reading at the time. I poured over it relishing the phrasing, visualizing the setting, wondering where he came up with these ideas.

As we move through life, it's simpler to say we're powerless. Someone else made or makes the decisions. We only influence a small corner of our world.

Think about this. Especially in today's world with the capacity for instantaneous connections. I was responding to something a friend posted on Facebook recently. As is often the case, others had also responded. In the visible list was another friend's name. Someone I had no idea knew the person. So were were doubly connected in that instant.

Have you ever experienced someone telling you how some seemingly small act of your kindness had greatly affected them? It may not even have been directed toward them, may even have been something they heard about from someone else. Or a comment that was overheard. We make impressions on people we know ~ and people we do not know.

That puts Paulo Coelho's statement about "...every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world" into the perspective of today's world. We aren't simply what we say or do, we are what and how we are seen, heard and remembered.

A number of years ago, a friend and I were discussing death. I commented that I stay in the background so much that I doubted anyone outside my family and a couple of close friends would notice my passing. Her jaw dropped. She put her hand on my shoulder and said, My friend, you have no idea how many people you have touched in the time we've known each other. It was my turn to be stunned. Was my comment false humility? I don't think so. I really didn't see what she saw. However, I accepted what she said at face value ~ and that brief comment and touch rocked my view of myself in the world.

Coelho says that's true for all of us. We each help to create the history of the world in which we live. Together we are more powerful than we know. It's time to step up and accept our role.

Who has influenced your world? Who's world do you influence? How powerful do you feel? What do you think is your greatest strength? How does it help strengthen the world? What would change in your life if you believed Coelho's words?

Furious Dancing

As the nights grow longer and various holidays approach, many people find the season difficult. Busyness abounds, people's spirits bounce between happy and desperate, and the continual cheeriness of holiday music adds to the disorientation.

Add to that, the results of the US elections ~ no matter your vote ~ and the occasional rockiness of the financial markets. Whew! Lots of situations out of our immediate control! Together this suggests this is a difficult time.

Personally, I love the concept of furious dancing to counter the effect of the hard times. Women have always found movement alleviates stress. Although men in some cultures dance, they mostly participate in other movement-oriented patterns. Music, dancing, rhythmic swaying ~ all these ways of releasing and changing the energy. The harder we dance, the more we release our sadness, fears and worries. When our bodies are in a strong rhythmic place, our minds move with the same rhythm. The more furiously we move, the more quickly our thoughts slip through our minds. We literally move into a higher vibration of being ~ more awake and aware to our surroundings and less willing to hold onto the darker space. Let's all find time to dance up a storm to whatever rhythm and music we choose. If nothing else, it's great exercise!

What do you do to get through hard times? Can furious dancing fit into your plans? How do you shift energy when feeling overwhelm? What other form of movement could help you get through these times? Does the growing darkness affect your mood? What else can/do you do to alleviate that?