Tender Collapse

The recent sunshine and warmth juxtaposes with and accents the process of grief and letting go. It is not simply the passing of winter or the season of Easter, it is the encounter with death and loss that continues through it all.

Spring is about re-birth and new growth, life reasserting itself after winter's passing. Although that sounds wonderful, it is also a time of great challenge and change.

Have you watched a plant breaking through the ground? It creates a chasm all on its own. Under the surface, it's broken through the covering of the seed or bulb. Then it pushes its way through the dirt separating it from the air and sunshine. As it splits the surface, it creates a miniature mound of earth as well as the breach through which it will poke its strong yet fragile head.

We are like that when we grieve. We push toward the Light, toward the Breath. Each movement is natural yet a phenomenal struggle. We continue to act as though everything is normal and ordinary. Within us moves the same struggle, unseen, edging forward, up and out. Occasionally, in order to break through into the light, into healing, we feel the seism along the fault line within us. We have no control over it. Eventually, something small, quiet, dark bursts forth through the surface and we wail with its appearance.

When we are most fortunate, most blessed, love also appears ~ often in the guise of family and friends ~ and witnesses our tender collapse without attempting to pat the dirt back into place or dig out a larger hole. Simply witnessing. Then when we feel more whole, or not, perhaps we will be able to stand in witness of the unique tender collapse of another.

What is breaking through in you? What grief are you holding? releasing? How are you standing in witness to others' break-throughs? What else is growing in your life this Spring?

What Brings Strength

from the Haindl Tarot

I'm amazed by the fact that I haven't written on my blog for nearly a month. The year began swimmingly well, then..... Ah, well. That's how life goes, isn't it?

A few weeks back I participated in a fantastic tarot workshop. Afterward, I roamed the local New Age bookstore and looked at several tarot decks. I have a couple of them, but neither has felt quite complete for me. So recently, I bought a new tarot deck ~ or two. I really love this one. It's designed by Hermann Haindl and the cards are exquisite. I love the ethereal earthiness of them.

From the pamphlet:

The Ace of Stones in the West. The eagle landing on the rock is the two fundamental realms joined. Earth and sky, "ordinary" reality and spirit, feminine and masculine. The sky, the Earth, the rainbow are beauty and gifts.

For me, the flecks of white represent feathers and fluff tossed by the wind. So much of my life is touched by the lightest of substances being blown through it by Spirit.... chance encounters, odd phrases tripping off the tongue and caught, a sudden outburst of weather. Each of these connect and focus my inner eye.

The Eagle making contact with the Stone reminds me of the balance of Air and Earth, Breath and Body. The Stone appears so huge in comparison to the Eagle. If the Eagle touched down too quickly or at the wrong angle, great damage could be done. Behind the Eagle shines the Rainbow, always a symbol of magic and promise for me. It is the bright, silent and present witness to the connection between Air and Earth. The connection that brings support and strength from above and below to balance and sustain my being.

What brings you Strength? What do you see in the Ace of Stones? Are there other systems you use to remind you of your connections with Spirit? with Nature? with Life? How do you share those connections with others?

Turning Life Sacred

http://www.louierochonphotography.com/

She's turning her life into something sacred: Each breath a new birth. Each moment, a new chance. She bows her head, gathers her dreams from a pure, deep stream and stretches her arms towards the sky.

~ Monique Duvall

It's time for me to once again focus my breath on fashioning the sacred moment into my life. In the eyes of some of the people around me, it's past time. In the opinion of some others, the sacred has never been out of focus. I know I've traveled the path between focus and fog when it comes to the holy and the sacredness of my path.

I am positive the Sacred has always had a hand on my life, irregardless the convergence of my vision or dream. It's a retreat to that internal gyroscope I mentioned several months past. I weave and wander, yet ever return to the Holy One who remains at the core of my being.

My dreams gather from every shore, from each pinpoint of starlight, from the core of the world. As they gather, I remember ~ truly putting my pieces together again ~ and breath in the pure, wild essence of them. I recognize that what I do for a living, how I am perceived by others, whether or not I am appreciated, matters little as I face the light exploding through those dreams. I want to let go the mundane ~ even as work begins anew ~ and let creativity soar. Perhaps I can do that. Perhaps not. I will be valiant and true in the attempt!

What do  you do with your dreams? How do you interact with the sacred? How will you move into your future?

Ruach

As I was getting dressed this morning, I discovered a deck of cards on the floor, the Jewish Mysticism Knowledge Cards. Having no idea how they got there, I picked up the deck and pulled it out of the box. I shuffled the deck with a specific question (or two related questions) in mind: What strength do I need for today? What would help me through the day?

The card I picked was Ruach. I already knew that the meaning of Ruach was breath, wind, spirit.... multiple meanings referring to the animating force.

From the back of the card:
"The second of the three primary levels of soul is ruach, which can meabn soul, spirit, anima, wind, breeze, air, breath, odor, thought, mind, ghost, devil. .... God's ruach - His spirit or breath - hovers over the face of the deep in the first chapter of Genesis. .... Ruach-ha-kodesh is the divine spirit, the spirit of prophecy."

It's so very true that today I feel the need for the animating breath of God. I chuckled when the card showed up in my hand. I felt that tickle of recognition as the card slipped out of the deck. In meditation I find myself listening for the breath of God, Ruach, softly playing past my ear. Ruach comes to remind me to pause and to listen and to reflect.