Open to Gold

Over the past year, I've experienced some health challenges. One modality with a significant influence on my healing process has been acupuncture.

At my most recent session, two separate practitioners worked in the same space with two clients ~ myself and another woman. The room was large. The practitioners spoke quietly and were attentive to their own client. Still there were moments of energetic crossover.

I entered the room and my session first. My needles were mostly in place, the conversation completed, before the second client and practitioner entered. In this way, although there was crossover, there was also flow.

Every time I heard a piece of the conversation from the other side of the room, I'd take a deep breath, release it slowly even as I released the connection to the words entering my own healing bubble. Every release took me deeper into the healing. It was a good practice.

At one point, as I released, I saw my head and shoulders as a cameo image viewed from above. Cameos generally have white, pink or cream colored areas around the edges. Mine were gold. Like the image above, those edges were smoky and flowing, changing as I breathed in and out. A feeling of cool green grass beneath me tickled my ears and cheeks. One more breath in and I released the image as well, sinking deeper even as my outer awareness expanded. In what seemed a brief time, my practitioner returned, asked me if I was ready to be finished, and removed the needles.

The aura surrounding me felt like a visitation ~ something of precious beauty and grace. Oddly, I didn't feel a strong need or desire to hang on to it. I simply wanted to know more about it. What was it? What did it mean? Why had it happened at that particular time, on that particular visit?

Golden auras are considered rare. Generally they occur either because one's heart is opening up or because compassion is flowing into the heart. It brings generosity, protection, peace and reasonableness. Just as gold represents wealth, a golden aura represents spiritual wealth. Most traditions see it as a blessing from the Divine. (Hence, golden Buddhas, golden halos, golden dieties, etc.)

An aura moving from green to gold ~ as my sensation of green grass with the golden aura ~ signifies healing and opening to blossoming golden energy. The green into gold image symbolizes the Tree of Life ~ golden with a center of the green aura of the heart. The heart chakra is called Anahata (the untouched) in Sanskrit. It's where we carry our deepest truths, loves and being. Our heart does not judge or struggle. It flows and changes direction as the will focuses on continuing life.

The spiritual nature of gold, particularly around the heart, is one of awakening, compassion and forgiveness. Gold shows in the aura as one is coming into their personal power ~ their Essence or Being ~ without the constraints of Ego.

My experience seems to be a common one with golden auras. A temporary energy. A passing visit. I hope to cultivate its continuance. The hardest sensation to explain is that it did not exactly feel good. It felt as though I was in a space of higher service. It felt connected, available, expansive. Although these words are considered positive, the space was one of neither positivity nor negativity. It simply was.

This momentary enlightenment passes. Some of the moments may be longer than others. It is difficult to contain, to maintain, when participating in human life. My wish is that every person, at some time in their personal spiritual journey, experience that golden aura.

How do you experience your Essence? What do you see in your quiet, meditative moments? or your Dreamtime? What colors do you see or feel or experience during these times? Where do you experience your center of Compassion?

Why Meditate?

When I saw this image, I giggled. And I knew that I had to use it in my blog. Because, really, in today's world, what is there of more mythic dimensions than Google?

We live in an age where more and more research is being done on and about the brain. There are more methods of seeing the various centers of the brain and experimenting with how a variety of input effects it.

Meditation changes the brain. Lots of research available on the internet tells you that. The most significant information I discovered what that the brain without meditation is stuck on ME. There is a Me Center in the brain that connects it with the bodily sensation and fear centers of the brain. Without a meditation practice, the strongest neural connections are within that Me Center and between that Center and the fear centers. That keeps us focused on how much all those sensations mean there is something wrong in MY world and with MY safety. It keeps us stuck in repetitive loops about our personal mistakes or how people might feel about us or whether or not a pain in our bodies means something is terribly wrong.

When we have a meditation practice, we can see more clearly. The connection stretches and relaxes between part of the brain that focuses on how things are for or with ME and the bodily sensation or fear center. That allows anxiety to dissipate and calms down the neural path connections. It means we can more easily ignore the sensations and allow the responses to relax and weaken.

Also, we begin to strengthen our empathy for others. We stop perceiving them as Other and see them as more like us. It encourages our ability to understand where another person is coming from by allowing us to use the part of the brain that relates us to the other person in terms of motivations, state of mind, woundedness, etc.

A daily practice of only 15 minutes makes deep and abiding changes in the connections of those neural pathways. It's funny that science now can prove what people who meditate have always known: meditation strengthens our brain's ability to better assess our interactions with others and within ourselves. It moves us from taking things personally to empathy and understanding others. It relaxes and changes our connections with the bodily sensation and fear center so our reactions are more balanced and holistic.

My personal practice has wavered and often shrunk to almost nothing only to expand to 20+ minutes a day over the years. I feel and see the differences. And I know that sometimes, when I look for answers and quick responses, Google seems so much more knowledgeable. I have to remind myself to trust the knowing within rather than the factoids outside myself.

What is your daily practice? Do you find meditation helpful? Have you been meditating regularly? What are your responses to others? How do you perceive aches and pains in yourself? How do you want to perceive things in the future?

Poetic Summary

To continue my reflections on the past year, and my movement into the new one, I'm following the suggestion of a friend to write a lune. [The lune (rhymes with moon) is a very short poem, similar to the haiku. The difference is the haiku has a 5/7/5 syllable pattern while the lune has a 5/3/5 syllable pattern.]

Role change emerges
in manner 
heretofore unformed.

I enjoyed playing with this previously unknown format. Several attempts, lots of taps on table and knee, thesaurus checking ~ all entertained me as I worked with it. Meditation, daydreaming and memory-play each shared a place in the recollection of the past year. Various focal points surfaced. The one that endured through every iteration of the lune was role change.

My role continues to change. Things shift slightly, then slightly more, then a new role blossoms and it continues to open into something as yet undefined. Perhaps undefinable. I marvel at its movement.

Have you attempted to summarize an entire year in 13 syllables? or 19, for that matter? What would happen if you tried? What word or phrase arises within you when you reflect on the past year? or the past season/three months? Does the word or phrase change you? How do you define yourself when you recognize it?

Internal Noise

ML Monroe

It is a paradox that we encounter so much internal noise when we first try to sit in silence.

~ Gunilla Norris

Have you ever attempted to sit in silence? I have. More times than I can count over the years. Each time I start, the noise comes. It's as though my brain waits for me to sit in meditation before it opens the floodgates of internal dialogue. It often begins with lists of what I 'should' be doing: laundry, dishes, reading a book, writing.... it goes on and on. Sometimes it goes on to a discourse on why I should be doing ... whatever else. Then there are the conversations I begin to have with others: "Why didn't you clean out the litter box?" pops into my head with an image and the dialogue is off and running. I could go on and on and on with examples. 

I've decided to let the chatter slip into that space that becomes 'white noise' ~ it's not as loud or pressing there. I don't fight it. Sometimes, I say to the chatter, "Sit over there a while. I'll get back to you when I'm done." Occasionally, it even responds positively by doing what I ask. Then the next time I sit down, it might begin again.

The internal noise is like the bubbles rising to the surface on the water. Sometimes they're visible, they catch my attention. Sometimes I'm focused within the depths and don't notice them. Either way, I am okay with the thoughts and rumblings existing. It's all part of the journey of my life.

How do you treat the internal noise that comes when you attempt to sit in silence? How does it feel? Does it whisk your attention away? How do you feel about the noise?

Writing and Silence

Today was an incredible day of retreat: meditation, silence and writing. It was offered in a beautiful space on the Washougal River. The space we used for meditation and gathering opened onto a porch that overlooked the river itself. And the river was in beautiful, burbling form. I loved having the time and the space to focus on what might move through my mind and into my pen. I found that I didn't always follow the prompts, but I wasn't far away either. I could take the time for myself, write what I want and be content.

The sound of the rapids permeated the entire outdoor experience. When we were outside, I found my feet, my spirit, my soul bounding down the stairs to the bench overlooking the rapids. I wanted the space all to myself ~ and so did every woman there! Although it would seem to be a competition, each had the opportunity to sit or walk with the river and that make the day even more wonderfully special and precious.

Silence on a writing retreat is difficult to say is truly silent. There is the time for writing and the time for sharing. There was time for movement in the breaks. Each moment, each sharing, each trip closer to the center of ME. I felt grounded, content, self-aware. I want to do those again.

Relating that to this Lenten season is simple: it's all about awareness. About being open to the call of Spirit in whatever shape and form it arrives. Growth and change and presence. All three readily available in the retreat!

What settles you in to a deeper awareness of yourself? of your surroundings? Do you write about that awareness? Do you share you those moments with others?