Balancing Paradox

n the midst of everything else going on in our world today ~ all the craziness, every mundane context, individual moments ~ I find myself turning inward and finding a safe, quiet place within.

When I lift my head out of those moments of slipping away, or more precisely, diving deep, familiar words find their way into view. The quote from Frederick Buechner was one. I find myself reading it, breathing it deeply into my lungs, letting it fill me up. I live, we live, in that world where "beautiful and terrible things will happen." Often, both of those extremes can make us afraid. We exalt in and love the beautiful, yet fear that it will go away, that simply having it and acknowledging it will curse it into nonexistence. Yet we most need to remember to let go that feeling of fear. Understand that these things will happen.

The terrible things leave us wary of anything new ~ or of the news itself. What next? Where will the next quake hit? What's happening in the arctic? How long before the disease (whichever one it may be) takes Auntie or Grandpa? So much opportunity for terrible things. Again, along with our best efforts to allay or avoid it, we have the same need to let go of the fear. It takes us out of being present to the moment.

Another quote that flowed easily into my view was this one by Parker J. Palmer:

The spiritual life is lived in a balance of paradoxes, and the humility that enables us to hear the truth of others must stand in creative tension with the faith that empowers us to speak our own.

Everything that is most important to us rests on the balance point of those paradoxes: hearing the truth of others and speaking our own truth. We move forward too quickly and we stop listening to others. We stand still too long and we stop voicing our truths. We are here, in this world, with these beautiful and terrible things happening, to face each other and help each other through the most profound Darkness and the most resplendent Light.

This is a time of facing our rebellious, passionate natures. This is a time of honesty and clarity. This is a time of living in and through our truest and deepest selves. This is not about being meek in the world. It is about being aware and truthful alongside being loving and strong. It is also a time of owning our own personal Darkness as well as revealing our brightest Light. We are not only balancing the paradoxes, we are the very balance point of them.

How do you speak your truth? How do listen to the truth of others? What is your passion? What do you fear? How do you view the beauty in our world? What terrible things are in your life now? What action will you take to refute fear? How are your practices working? What paradoxes are you balancing?

Internal Noise

ML Monroe

It is a paradox that we encounter so much internal noise when we first try to sit in silence.

~ Gunilla Norris

Have you ever attempted to sit in silence? I have. More times than I can count over the years. Each time I start, the noise comes. It's as though my brain waits for me to sit in meditation before it opens the floodgates of internal dialogue. It often begins with lists of what I 'should' be doing: laundry, dishes, reading a book, writing.... it goes on and on. Sometimes it goes on to a discourse on why I should be doing ... whatever else. Then there are the conversations I begin to have with others: "Why didn't you clean out the litter box?" pops into my head with an image and the dialogue is off and running. I could go on and on and on with examples. 

I've decided to let the chatter slip into that space that becomes 'white noise' ~ it's not as loud or pressing there. I don't fight it. Sometimes, I say to the chatter, "Sit over there a while. I'll get back to you when I'm done." Occasionally, it even responds positively by doing what I ask. Then the next time I sit down, it might begin again.

The internal noise is like the bubbles rising to the surface on the water. Sometimes they're visible, they catch my attention. Sometimes I'm focused within the depths and don't notice them. Either way, I am okay with the thoughts and rumblings existing. It's all part of the journey of my life.

How do you treat the internal noise that comes when you attempt to sit in silence? How does it feel? Does it whisk your attention away? How do you feel about the noise?