Learning Emotional Hygiene

Whew! A month bubbling over with emotion, with many reasons for anger ~ rage, even ~ from financial insecurity to holiday preparations gone awry to campaigning and election results to treatment of protesters and law enforcement personnel. People on all sides of every issue have legitimate reasons for that anger. No one is immune; no one is excluded; no one has the corner on outrage.

I've found myself in the midst of various moments of outrage, having difficulty maintaining my composure. I use many techniques, including deep breathing and counting to 5 before responding. Yet I still find myself flopping into bed at night, overcome by physical exhaustion.

So I went in search of advice. Even though I know the truth of what the Dalai Lama says, I've had issues maintaining my emotional hygiene. Several conscious actions have helped me improve:

• Breathe deeply when outdoors. I find that so much more grounding than deep breaths in the house, the store or the local pub. It's been raining on and off in my neighborhood and the ozone rejuvenates me.
• Write down my dreams, whether from sleep or my lucid mind. That provides a time ~ while writing ~ to recognize, acknowledge and release whatever emotions are bubbling below the surface. When I'm done writing, I consciously let go. Sometimes they return ~ and that's okay. It simply gives me a reason to once again let go. No judgement.
• Limit my contact with social media that may incite the anger. No, I don't stay totally away from it ~ not even for a day. I skim stories or headlines or read comments from particular trusted people or sites. Sometimes, I choose to read the entirety of the article so I have a clearer understanding.
• Take my camera with me on walks in the neighborhood and in nature. I can use my phone camera too, but what I do is focus on finding several images of interest: rain dripping from yellowed leaves, the moonrise, children playing on park swings. Creativity takes me out of that other emotional state ~ whatever other it may be.
• Listen to music. Music plays in the background of almost everywhere we go that isn't outdoors. I take a minute or five to sit or stroll listening to what is playing. Generally, it changes my mood too.
• Do my spiritual practice. We each have something. Even people who are agnostics or atheists have something they do religiously to keep themselves present in the world. For me, it's meditation ~ and writing. Sometimes it even includes art. Something I do where my focus can be soft and my brain allowed to wander without my mind paying attention.

I like what these practices do to keep my emotions awake in the compassion arena without being too overrun by anger, frustration and confusion. I'm not saying they're easy. As I said, I'm still often exhausted when I go to bed at night.

What practice/s help you release anger or resentment? Do you agree with the Dalai Lama about emotional hygiene? about compassion? How do you practice self-compassion? How do you support others around you in/with their self-compassion?

Furious Dancing

As the nights grow longer and various holidays approach, many people find the season difficult. Busyness abounds, people's spirits bounce between happy and desperate, and the continual cheeriness of holiday music adds to the disorientation.

Add to that, the results of the US elections ~ no matter your vote ~ and the occasional rockiness of the financial markets. Whew! Lots of situations out of our immediate control! Together this suggests this is a difficult time.

Personally, I love the concept of furious dancing to counter the effect of the hard times. Women have always found movement alleviates stress. Although men in some cultures dance, they mostly participate in other movement-oriented patterns. Music, dancing, rhythmic swaying ~ all these ways of releasing and changing the energy. The harder we dance, the more we release our sadness, fears and worries. When our bodies are in a strong rhythmic place, our minds move with the same rhythm. The more furiously we move, the more quickly our thoughts slip through our minds. We literally move into a higher vibration of being ~ more awake and aware to our surroundings and less willing to hold onto the darker space. Let's all find time to dance up a storm to whatever rhythm and music we choose. If nothing else, it's great exercise!

What do you do to get through hard times? Can furious dancing fit into your plans? How do you shift energy when feeling overwhelm? What other form of movement could help you get through these times? Does the growing darkness affect your mood? What else can/do you do to alleviate that?

Memory and Music

Every now and again, a song or a performer strikes the heart deeply enough to rock us to the depths of our souls. The right music. Different songs for many people. Different performers for them as well.

Last night, one of those performers played his heart out in one small bar. Why was this performer different? What did he have that touched our souls? Not an easy answer. Perhaps it is that all who were there to hear him were immersed in the same mythos ~ the one created by and for this particular performer.

Over a decade ago, we celebrated this performer with and at a fundraiser because we were certain he'd be leaving our presence soon. He'd been living with AIDS for a decade and things were looking dubious. He remains with us, in this world, on this side of the veil, and filled with a passion when he performs that puts all in his presence to shame.

Although he no longer has the stamina to play three or four hour gigs, what he does play brings all of us to that point of letting go and riding the wave of the music to forgetfulness or remembrance, whichever place we need to reach at the moment. During one of the songs, with a band consisting of drums, piano, trumpet and trombone complementing his guitar and vocals, I was swept into an ecstasy of spirit that had nothing to do with the half-glass of wine I'd consumed. I could feel the music within and beneath me, carrying me away. Even as a music lover, very few performers and performances bring me to that point. Suddenly, everything was in its proper perspective, The music, the people, the time ~ all was right with the world.

What music brings you to that place of forgetting or remembering? Is it a type of music? a performer? a particular song? Does certain music bring amnesia? Other music bring memory? Are you in the moment with the music? To what era/time in your life does it transport you?