Ask Better Questions

Questions elicit answers in their likeness. Answers mirror the questions they…meet. So while a simple question can be precisely what's needed to drive to the heart of the matter, it's hard to meet a simplistic question with anything but a simplistic answer. It's hard to transcend a combative question. But it's hard to resist a generous question. We all have it in us to formulate questions that invite honesty, dignity, and revelation. There is something redemptive and life-giving about asking better questions.

                                        - Krista Tippett

Schools on all levels often teach the Who-What-When-Where-Why-How method of questioning. Using those questions once was the sign of a good investigator as well as a good reporter. It was about getting to the crux of the matter, exploring the details, and cross-checking the facts. Those questions, couched in a variety of other wordings, informed our opinions as they taught us about the many facets and faces of the world around us.

Some people worded their questions to elicit specific responses ~ either in word or in denial. Many asked questions from a mindset that expects particular responses. We learned to listen with ears attuned to words we wanted to hear. It's no longer about finding the facts or telling the most complete version of the story. It's about proving ourselves right. Getting the story out there first took precedence ~ and if some facts were inaccurate, well, we could update it later. Nevermind that most people would never see or hear the update.

To get back to that place of curiosity and wonder, we have to relearn how to do less guiding with our questions. Ask more open-ended, generous and invitational queries. Ask better questions ~ not only in their complexity, but also in their authenticity and genuineness. Set an intention to invite and welcome others, whether they are family, friends, neighbors or total strangers. As we open ourselves to asking better questions, we learn more about those around us. We develop a more sincere way to express ourselves in the world as well.

What questions would you want someone to ask you? How do you respond to quick or simplistic questions? What questions form themselves in your mind when you meet a new person? What keeps you from asking them? How do you pursue conversations with others? Why is it important to you to ask ~ and be asked ~ open and authentic questions?

Dreaming the Answers

Some friends and I were discussing the upcoming,or perhaps better stated, ongoing election. There is an incredible reign of terror being perpetuated by every side. As we touched on the possible outcomes, we acknowledged that when we meet again next week, the election will be over. I gradually became aware that I was the only one holding the high road that Light and Beauty would prevail ~ no matter what. As one of my friends said, "We're influenced by the prevailing energies that are out there."

Although the specifics of the conversation have left me, the sadness, fear and anxiety my friends voiced has not. Oddly enough, this quote was in the margin of the book we were studying together. I took it as a sign of hope.

Our dreams come in a variety of waves through our lives, night time imagings being one of the possibilities. More importantly, we have the power to interact with those dreams ~ in all their forms ~ to uncover the answers, the deep and true meanings. The answer to the question What does this dream mean? is not to run to a book of dream image meanings, but to ask What do you/I think in means?

More than two decades ago, I had several similar dreams over the course of a month. The primary constant in each of them was the predominant color in each of them: orange. The sky, the landscape, the very air held an overcast tint of orange. Although I can recall much of those dreams to this very day, I knew ~ and still know ~ little of their meaning. What I can say is that in less than a year of having those dreams, I was standing on a corner in Nasr City, Egypt ~ where I would be living for the coming year ~ marveling at the orange hue everywhere. Had my dream led me to Cairo? or had Cairo called to me through my dream? I cannot say for sure. I only know the two were clearly connected.

I believe we can call forth dreams of a better world or community or family or job. We only need to open ourselves enough to let those dreams come through. I am always open to being proven wrong ~~ but of this I am certain: our words and our visual imagings carry their own power into our lives and into the world.

What do you believe about dreams? Where did that belief come from? Do you believe dreams have power? If so, are you open to their power? What dream have you had that came true in some way after you dreamt it?

Am I a Writer?

Words repeat inside my head:
If you want to be a writer, you have to write.
And:
Waiting until you feel inspired, may keep you waiting forever to write.

The questions arise again. Those internal insecurities about being good enough... creative... about having something to say... about someone wanting to read what I write.

What do I need to write? Not very much. Stories float around inside my head. Questions, curiosities, challenges all start my thoughts forming characters, places, quests. An image of a rope tumbled on the beach begins here:
He grabbed hold of the rope and tugged, checking the tension, feeling the strength. It held fast. He put his hands, one ahead of the other, on the rope, set his left foot against the rock face at knee level and pulled himself up. His right foot found purchase on the rock face, and he was off. Hand over hand, feet moving up the rocks.....

This is one of the adventures floating through from that image. Where will it go from here? The stories crowd inside me, looking for passage from one world to the next. The only require a pinhole to find their way out.

I need time, a computer or tablet, paper and pen or pencil. The first often is the most fragile, the slipperiest to reach. Now on to use mine differently.

What do you desire to create? How strong is your desire? How do you define yourself? How do you want to define yourself? What will you do to make your best definition come true?

Silly FB Questionnaire

When I logged onto FB the other day, I was greeted by one of those silly questionnaires. This one wanted me to answer the questions to discover my totem animal. My immediate thought was, "What the heck? I might as well give it a go and see what happens." So I did. This is the result:

"What animal walks by your side? ... Your totem animal is the owl,... Owls represent wisdom, and the ability to see what others do not. This means your mind is unique,... You observe situations in a 'positive' aspect, meaning you probably suggest that there is good in everything. Owl people make excellent spiritual teachers...
Some additional details about owl totem: Intuition, ability to see what others do not see; ...change; capacity to see beyond deceit and masks; wisdom; traditional meaning...is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic of a life transition, change."

I have to chuckle about this. It's almost as though Owl wants to remind me that It is in my life for the long haul. My high school mascot was an owl ~ Its presence began there. Five years ago, I attended a Women's Dreamquest where we drew power animal cards to place us into groups. I drew Owl (along with 4 or 5 other women). Three years ago, I spotted a recently killed young barn owl at the side of the road and felt called to do a ritual to send Its spirit home. In short, yes. I already knew my connection to Owl and Owl's connection to me. It was, and is, humorous to think that a FB questionnaire would identify the connection as well.

Have you taken any of the FB quizzes? Have you 'discovered' anything that you didn't already know? What do you think of these kinds of questionnaires? Do you consider them fun? serious? educational? helpful? What animal has shown up repeatedly in your life?

Easy Cures

Every now and again, I come across an image and a saying that strike me as almost too simple. My reaction is the mental version of smacking my forehead with the heel of my hand.

This one caused that reaction in me. Wow. It should be so easy, right? Yet I find myself awake in the middle of the night, thinking about .... well. nothing in particular and everything in general. Those weird questions run through my brain: What should I wear tomorrow? Is it going to rain/snow? What did X mean by saying Y? Did I pay the water bill? Do I have clean undies? I think you know the ones.

Then there are the bigger-than-life questions: What do I want to be when I grow up? and when will that be? Will I ever write the great American novel? Do I even want to? Do I have enough money to take a trip to Macchu Picchu? Will anyone ever truly know who I am? or love me for who I am? Is there a God? I think you know these queries too.

While these questions might keep me awake at night, I've gotten better at laughing at them, recognizing their potential for diversion, their non-real presence. The laughter breaks the mood, shatters the stress before it's fully formed, leaves me more relaxed. Then I can fall asleep.

I've also learned to laugh at these same type of questions that arise in the light of day as well. You know these too: Is my boss watching? Is this within my pay grade? Were my coworkers talking about me? Does my breath stink? Most of these questions pop into my mind because I feel insecure or "less than." Not because any of this is true or really matters. I make it important. I define my reality around some pretty silly parameters. That, in and of itself, gives me reason to laugh.

Do you sleep soundly through the night? Are there times you awaken anxiously? What is important in defining your reality? Can you find a way to laugh more? What would that be?