Teabag Tarot: Constancy

It's been waaay too long since I've written in this blog. Much has happened. Nothing has happened. Everything has happened. The past year has been busy, overfull, quiet, reflective, healing, amazing. Time for another shift.

The trigger for this shift? This Teabag Tarot hangs from my cup of steeping tea. I smile. It touches my endless soul, nudging me back to writing. Yay! Whew! It's about time! Words are important. They have the power to create and to destroy.

The framing of this small statement pointed me toward creation. Not only is our soul constant, continuous and endless. So is the beauty of that soul. The assumption is obvious: belief not only in the existence of the soul, but also in its continuity.

My personal focus is on its constancy. The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines constancy as steadfastness of mind under duress. That's the point. No matter what is going on. No matter the storms flinging themselves at our door. No matter the beauty or horror or tediousness in our lives. The beauty that lies at the core of our being is constant. *Sigh* What a concept! Something that we can rely on not because it reflects our outer world, but because it simply is that way.

Do you believe in your own soul? If not, what do you believe in? If so, how does it show you its existence? What beauty does your soul bring to the world? How does it provide constancy to and for you?

Resurrection

Resurrection. The reversal of what was thought to be absolute. The turning of midnight into dawn, hatred into love, dying into living anew.

If we look more closely into life, we will find that resurrection is more than hope, it is our experience. The return of life from death is something we understand at our innermost depths, something we feel on the surface of our tender skin …

We give thanks for all those times we have arisen from the depths or simply taken a tiny step toward something new. May we be empowered by extraordinary second chances. And as we enter the world anew, let us turn the tides of despair into endless waves of hope.

~ Molly Fumia

Sometimes, when we least expect it, we find that we've been carrying some dead thing around with us or some unknown, unspoken grief has raised itself into our heart or a wound thought healed resurfaces. When that happens, we generally cuss, either under our breath or loudly, and get upset that we have, once again, to deal with the bugger.

In actuality, the return or reopening of that thing we wish would leave us alone is a blessing. Like the cactus, it has sharp stickers that insert themselves into the tender parts of our bodies, minds and hearts. But also like that cactus, it has an extraordinary beauty that blossoms and brings us joy ~~ eventually.

A personal story ~
Once, while participating in a sweat lodge, I found myself feeling claustrophobic. I'd been attending lodges regularly for years and this had never occurred previously. In fact, I was often in the innermost circle of a lodge ~ closest to the hot stones, with other women crowding close behind me. This time, however, the feeling overwhelmed me. I found myself requesting to leave. Outside, I sat on a log next to the fire. The firetender quietly asked what brought me out. I shared my feelings and my surprise, and wondered if he had any idea what may have made that urge to leave so intense. He didn't have an answer for that. It was my issue, my challenge. What he said was, Give it to the fire. The fire will burn it out and send the ashes to Spirit. Just know that, whatever the issue may be, it will return even more fiercely next time. The difference will be that you will know how to handle it. Each time it returns, it will be less and less of an issue.

I followed the firetender's advice and found it to be true. Now, whenever one of those issues resurrects itself, I take it to one or more of the Elements ~ fire, water, air, earth ~ and release it. The trick is in the release. I can't let it go then take it back again by worrying about it. That requires faith that eventually joy and beauty will replace whatever pain or ugliness shows up, even if it takes time.

Getting to the resurrection of joy and beauty requires that we change, that we allow the pain, the fear, the loss to be very real and present in our lives ~ and then release it into the place of transformation and watch for the blossom.

What feeling returns to haunt you? How often has it returned? How does it affect your life? What element can you imagine releasing it to? How might you do that? Who might help you do that? What does resurrection mean to you? for you?

Choice and Miracles

ML Monroe 2016

Sometimes life brings miracles and we recognize them. Yesterday at the beach was crazy rainy and windy. Even our attempt to go for a short walk and take some photos was squelched by the weather.

This morning, we opened the curtains to see this incredible view. Clouds, reflected sun and waves on the other side of the parking lot and trees.

After taking a couple of photos from the balcony, we decided to head for the walk on the beach. We grabbed our various cameras (phones, point-and-shoot, mirrorless and DSLR), bundled up and headed across to the beach. It was perfect. As we walked the beach, we noticed every bit of the beauty along the way. Almost at the same time, we decided to turn around and head back. Perfect timing. As we crossed the parking lot heading back to the hotel, it started to mist and drizzle.

The morning was a miracle. A series of the small ones that often slip by. The bright clouds reflecting the sunlight, the reflection in the water on the parking lot. The crashing of the waves, the dancing sea foam. The incredible play of light and water. And the rain waiting until we were done to begin again.

We always have choice as to our perception of what happens in our lives. We can count things as miracles and blessings. We can take the good for granted. We can focus on the negative that shows up. It's not to say negative or bad things don't happen ~ or we can make them different by ignoring them. It is to say we get to choose our cynosure, our polestar. If we're open to the miracles, they show up ~ and rainy days bring moments of sheer radiant beauty.

On what do you focus when things don't go as you planned? Do you notice the miracles in your life? What have you noticed recently? When did you take the good in your life for granted? What recent happening struck you as influential?

Sum Total

"Life did not begin at my birth. ... I am the sum total of [others'] experiences, their quests."

Although my thoughts and my dreams often circle around my personal life, I am continually expanding those horizons. I have the choice of limiting myself, of putting blinders on. All I see then is what's in front of my own face. It's easier to live that way. I don't have to see, acknowledge or encounter what is going on around me. I don't have to read opinions or ideas that I don't already have or agree with. That would be the simpler way to live.

What Wiesel suggests is that life is not that simple. When we stop learning, refuse to expand our knowledge and experience, we miss the fullness of beauty. We lose sight of the beauty that lies in diversity and difference. Just as a flower garden is made up of a variety of sizes, colors and blossoms, so the world around us is made up of beauty.

His words ~ "divine beauty" ~ suggest that through diversity, exposing ourselves to what has come before as well as what walks beside us, we are lead to whatever we find or name as Divine or Holy.

As we look beyond ourselves, we have the choice to envision a different world and create a different mythos for the present and the future. We have the opportunity to leave things as they are, to believe we are powerless, or to broaden and share our experiences and our quests, adding them to the sum total that balances our world.

In light of recent events, what do you want to learn? How do the stories of your ancestors affect your choice? What do you want to leave for the generations that follow? How will you contribute to the sum total balancing the world?

Dreaming the Answers

Some friends and I were discussing the upcoming,or perhaps better stated, ongoing election. There is an incredible reign of terror being perpetuated by every side. As we touched on the possible outcomes, we acknowledged that when we meet again next week, the election will be over. I gradually became aware that I was the only one holding the high road that Light and Beauty would prevail ~ no matter what. As one of my friends said, "We're influenced by the prevailing energies that are out there."

Although the specifics of the conversation have left me, the sadness, fear and anxiety my friends voiced has not. Oddly enough, this quote was in the margin of the book we were studying together. I took it as a sign of hope.

Our dreams come in a variety of waves through our lives, night time imagings being one of the possibilities. More importantly, we have the power to interact with those dreams ~ in all their forms ~ to uncover the answers, the deep and true meanings. The answer to the question What does this dream mean? is not to run to a book of dream image meanings, but to ask What do you/I think in means?

More than two decades ago, I had several similar dreams over the course of a month. The primary constant in each of them was the predominant color in each of them: orange. The sky, the landscape, the very air held an overcast tint of orange. Although I can recall much of those dreams to this very day, I knew ~ and still know ~ little of their meaning. What I can say is that in less than a year of having those dreams, I was standing on a corner in Nasr City, Egypt ~ where I would be living for the coming year ~ marveling at the orange hue everywhere. Had my dream led me to Cairo? or had Cairo called to me through my dream? I cannot say for sure. I only know the two were clearly connected.

I believe we can call forth dreams of a better world or community or family or job. We only need to open ourselves enough to let those dreams come through. I am always open to being proven wrong ~~ but of this I am certain: our words and our visual imagings carry their own power into our lives and into the world.

What do you believe about dreams? Where did that belief come from? Do you believe dreams have power? If so, are you open to their power? What dream have you had that came true in some way after you dreamt it?

Don't Go Back to Sleep

Five mornings a week through every season of the year, my drive to work takes me directly into the sunrise. [The rest of the year, it's either full dark or the sun's already above the horizon.]

The scene is often breath-taking at dawn: fog rising off a river, hillsides covered with greenery, clouds playing peek-a-boo with the light. Of course, there is also the traffic, the mile markers and the exits. Yet through it all, what I see, what wakes me up, is the beauty.

These things make up my version of Rumi's world. As I drive through these adjoining worlds ~ akin to Rumi's doorsill ~ I often find myself seeking something. I ask for guidance for the day. Or I express gratitude for the beauty. Or I request blessings on friends, co-workers or loved ones in distress. Until I found and read this poem again, I didn't realize that I was following Rumi's advice to "ask for what [I] really want." The moments of growing light are the grand doorway to the world's beauty. Beauty captures the heart and leaves it grateful.

One of my favorite phrases of Rumi's has always been his charge: "Don't go back to sleep!" In the midst of that morning beauty, it is easy to express gratitude. It is a wonderful reminder of the glory of the Earth and the great gift of Life.

I start my days that way because it is so much easier to 'go back to sleep' later in the day, when the beauty is not quite as breath-taking and visible. If I practice gratitude and awareness first thing in the morning, it creates a rhythm within me to continue to be awake, or to return to wakefulness, later. Rumi reminds us to be mindful of the 'breeze at dawn' because those are the moments when we can breathe in that awareness of the side-by-side worlds before getting bogged down in the mundane routines of our day. It helps keep us focused.

How do you begin your day? What is your 'breeze at dawn'? your 'doorsill where the two worlds touch'? What did you ask for today? How do you make your requests? How do you remind yourself to not 'go back to sleep'?

Ideals of Beauty

the-earth-mother-of-all-neolithic-discoveries

from an article in The Independent:

Could the "lady of Villers-Carbonnell" represent the neolithic ideal of female beauty, long before the coming of fashion magazines, airbrushes and Photoshop?

Now there's a fascinating question. Look at that body. Nothing like the ideals of feminine beauty we've come to culturally admire. The breasts are too small and the hips too wide. Yet through the ages prior to our own recent past, round hips were admired and breasts did not have to be large and bursting out of clothing.

There have been more and more articles recently addressing our cultural obsession with slim-hipped, busty female figures. We seem to forget that the wide pelvis (translating to rounder hips and buttocks) generally provides more space and protection for a growing offspring.

Yet I find myself wanting to balance the picture too. Some women naturally fit the cultural ideal; others do not. Perhaps what we need to do is design the cultural norm to be less of a singular image and more of a sliding scale. Allow for the diversity of our human population. Stop attempting to squeeze or stretch everyone into the same mold. We allow that for men. It'd be great if we could allow it for women as well.

How do you feel about the ideal of beauty in our culture today? What do you think of the different standards for men and for women? What does the neolithic statue express to you?

The Eye of the Beholder

Colette Baron-Reid

From the guide:

Examine your perceptions. Do you see the world as perfect and beautiful? Can you retrace your steps from your past to now and see the perfection in the way reality has been created? Truly, perception is everything. The Eyes of Beauty remind you that if you move forward with conviction, all is well now and always will be. You will see true prosperity as a result. Expect to see beauty and you will attract prosperity as a result. Expect to see beauty and you will attract your highest good.

There's a commonly used phrase that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." If that's as true as we claim, then everything is in the eye of the beholder ~ beauty, grace, joy; and, of course, their opposites. Our perception is the most significant decision-maker for us. We have choice as to how we see people or situations we encounter. 

The other day I saw a friend I hadn't seen for awhile. He was rubbing his eyes, his head down, his face looking solemn and kind of scrunched up. I said, "Tired?" He picked up his head, looked at me and said in a mock hurt tone, "Thanks. Do I look that bad?" I explained why I thought he was looking tired. His response was that it was allergies making him rub his eyes. The remainder of his appearance was part of the reaction to the allergen. 

What a lesson! What I'd intended as a comment of sympathy turned into a misconception. I realized that it was my interpretation of what I saw. That gave me the opportunity to re-evaluate how I see things, how I interpret what I see, and my choice in how I react.

What story do you have of your own misperception? How did you handle it? What did you learn from it?

Grief and Gathering Strength

"Sunset" by Louie Rochon (used by permission)

When it's over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular
and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and
frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

~ Mary Oliver, When Death Comes

Yesterday a dear sister left this world. She lived her life with gusto, aplomb and originality, much as Mary Oliver's poem suggests. Many people, many women, continue to post their memories and good-byes on Facebook. Sassy Songbird certainly left a mark in her world.

Those messages are an acknowledgement of the grief being felt, the sense of loss. That's as it should be. We live in a culture that too often tells us to 'buck up' ~ in whatever terminology used ~ and not let death get to us. We focus in terms of 'seeing the person again'  and 's/he's in a better place' and 'God must have wanted another angel.' Although each of those belief systems holds validity, we have a right, and a responsibility to ourselves and those we love, to allow the tears, to feel the sadness, to experience whatever emotions arise ~ anger, fear, melancholy, bafflement, peace, joy, any emotion ~ and to express those emotions. Not to take them out on others, but to allow our hearts and souls to feel them.

Each emotion we feel carries us on the waves of healing. Our feelings help us to gather strength from within as well as from those around us. We become more of a community when we acknowledge our feelings to each other. It bonds us together even if those feelings are different. Sharing creates the bonds of strength. It also creates our internal strength. We allow room for others. We recognize our vulnerability. We grow.

Louie Rochon's image shows that sort of strength in the beauty of nature. One petal alone would not stand. Together, even though not tightly bound, the petals are strong and beautiful. As we are, when we allow the connections, the touching.

How does grief affect you? How do you express those feelings? and with whom? How do you gather strength from your connections with others?

Acceptance

"Acceptance" by Louie Rochon (used with permission)

When I saw this image posted on Facebook, I was awe-struck. The title of the piece is "Acceptance" and in an instant I felt overcome by an extraordinary sense of it. The snags remind me of the dark 'creatures' that occasionally ~ and often suddenly ~ rise up in the midst of a beautiful, peaceful moment to catch me unawares. From the shadow, I see the reflected beauty and peace and wonder at where it has gone and why it's been disrupted. These snags, these creatures, call me to remember them. Remember what they once were, their strength and beauty, their majestic stance at one point in my life. Now they are a darkness because even though I have gone away from them, I hold them in that dark sharp place. It is time to accept what they have given me, to thank them for their presence, to thank Spirit for their gift, and to release them to be part of the beauty that is my life.

What do you see in this image? What does the word acceptance mean to you? What dark 'creatures' snag you, attempting to hold you fast? How do you handle them?

Challenges

Puddle by M.C. Escher

There were many challenges in my past week. Lots of great and wonderful insights along with self-doubt, fears and stresses. I felt a bit like Escher's image ~~ beauty reflected in a puddle filled with tire tracks and footprints.

I know that I carry deep within myself the essence of beauty and wonder. Some days it shines through with shocking electric clarity. Other days it peeks out from behind a corner or sits quietly in a reflecting pool. Much of the time it is both visible and quiet in ways that don't over- or underwhelm.

Then there are the tracks that run themselves through the depths of me. I know I have the power to choose how I react to what others say or don't say, do or don't do. Yet on some days the tracks sink deeper into the muck of my being and leave their impressions in a different way.

All of this is gift. All of this teaches me about my own deep inner choices, about what I choose to take on, what I choose to leave behind, what lessons I learn. Who and what I am has been shaped by my choices. Those choices include the people with whom I share time and space, the places I work, play and live as well as how I choose to respond to everything in my surroundings. For all this, I am grateful.

What causes the tracks across your reflected beauty? How do you choose to respond? Are all your responses the same? or are some deeper or truer than others?