Balancing Paradox

n the midst of everything else going on in our world today ~ all the craziness, every mundane context, individual moments ~ I find myself turning inward and finding a safe, quiet place within.

When I lift my head out of those moments of slipping away, or more precisely, diving deep, familiar words find their way into view. The quote from Frederick Buechner was one. I find myself reading it, breathing it deeply into my lungs, letting it fill me up. I live, we live, in that world where "beautiful and terrible things will happen." Often, both of those extremes can make us afraid. We exalt in and love the beautiful, yet fear that it will go away, that simply having it and acknowledging it will curse it into nonexistence. Yet we most need to remember to let go that feeling of fear. Understand that these things will happen.

The terrible things leave us wary of anything new ~ or of the news itself. What next? Where will the next quake hit? What's happening in the arctic? How long before the disease (whichever one it may be) takes Auntie or Grandpa? So much opportunity for terrible things. Again, along with our best efforts to allay or avoid it, we have the same need to let go of the fear. It takes us out of being present to the moment.

Another quote that flowed easily into my view was this one by Parker J. Palmer:

The spiritual life is lived in a balance of paradoxes, and the humility that enables us to hear the truth of others must stand in creative tension with the faith that empowers us to speak our own.

Everything that is most important to us rests on the balance point of those paradoxes: hearing the truth of others and speaking our own truth. We move forward too quickly and we stop listening to others. We stand still too long and we stop voicing our truths. We are here, in this world, with these beautiful and terrible things happening, to face each other and help each other through the most profound Darkness and the most resplendent Light.

This is a time of facing our rebellious, passionate natures. This is a time of honesty and clarity. This is a time of living in and through our truest and deepest selves. This is not about being meek in the world. It is about being aware and truthful alongside being loving and strong. It is also a time of owning our own personal Darkness as well as revealing our brightest Light. We are not only balancing the paradoxes, we are the very balance point of them.

How do you speak your truth? How do listen to the truth of others? What is your passion? What do you fear? How do you view the beauty in our world? What terrible things are in your life now? What action will you take to refute fear? How are your practices working? What paradoxes are you balancing?

Solitude and Community

...we need solitude and community simultaneously: what we learn in one mode can check and balance what we learn in the other. Together, they make us whole, like breathing in and breathing out. ....Solitude does not necessarily mean living apart from others; rather, it means never living apart from one's self. .... Community does not necessarily mean living face-to-face with others; rather it means never losing the awareness that we are connected to each other.

~ Parker J. Palmer

In the midst of all the shifts and sea-changes of the past weeks, I find myself pulling into my shell as well as seeking the comfort of simply being with others. Many around me expressed feeling the same tidal pulls. The full supermoon has only added to the depths and breadths of the shift.

There's the sense of being alone in a crowd. Like wandering through an unknown city, with hundreds of people rushing past, the feeling can be soft, almost unnoticed. Or harsh and overwhelming. What I've been feeling is simply drawing energy from the presence of others. This keeps me aligned, deep in my soul, centered. When it begins to swing to the harsh side, I make my way to a quiet corner, a place apart from others, though I continue to be aware of them.

I thought 'unplugging' from social media would help. Instead, I felt a sense of losing contact with my community. What I wanted, needed, was connection with others. Light touch connection. A friend texting with information about a personal issue we had previously discussed. Another messaging that she's doing okay after being ill. Someone posting he'd just received a job offer. A phone conversation about dreams. These are the people in my community, the ones who keep me awake and grounded.

Another thought darting through my head was to find gatherings of like-minded, like-hearted people. My basic introverted nature reeled at that one. Being with a few people with whom I have a connection is one thing; being in a crowd of mostly unknowns is another animal completely. Yet this path works better for some people. They need the energy of groups, the opportunity to 'get lost' in a common cause.

Whatever pattern you need in order to stay grounded, centered, deeply yourself and deeply connected, follow it. Trust the intuition that drives you forward.

How do you feel when in solitude? in community? What connects you most deeply to yourself? to your community? How would you describe your community? Are there more than one? How are they similar? different? How does solitude feed you? How does community feed you?