You Must Not Fear

 Mary-Lynne Monroe ©2015

"You must not fear, hold back, count or be a miser with your thoughts and feelings. It is also true that creation comes from an overflow, so you have to learn to intake, to imbibe, to nourish yourself and not be afraid of fullness. The fullness is like a tidal wave which then carries you, sweeps you into experience and into writing. Permit yourself to flow and overflow, allow for the rise in temperature, all the expansions and intensifications. something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terrors, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them. If it seems to you that I move in a world of certitudes, ... you move in a world of mysteries. But both must be ruled by faith."

~ Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin, Vol. 4: 1944-47

In 1944, Anais Nin was 41 years old. She was famous for her diaries, her openness about the fullness of life and her expression of that fullness with passion and gusto. Earlier in this passage, she also writes:
What is it that attracts me to the young? When I am with mature people I feel their rigidities, their tight crystallizations. They have become, at least in my eyes, like the statues of the famous. Achieved. Final.

We live in a world both blessed and cursed by rigidity and crystallization. The rigidity creates the rules that keep order and flow in a reasonable fashion. It also creates the rifts as people grab for the tight space that they can call their own ~ forgetting that we get farther together. The crystallization polarizes us, freezes us into one form. We act as though we can't be flexible, can't change, can't learn new views on things.

I've found myself in that rigid, crystallized position a few times in my life. As though I had all the answers and no one could tell me anything. As though there was nothing new to learn. Most of the time, I'm there out of fear. Is it possible there is something I don't know or am not an expert in? For a knowledge-junkie, that is a frightening position to be in. Hence, my rigidity born of fear. Then there's the crystallization born from judgment and/or privilege. I've been guilty of thinking because someone holds a certain position or status (youth, inexperience, handicapping condition, socio-economic status), they don't have the capacity to know something I don't.

Fortunately, those times have been few and far between, but even being there once is something for which I am not proud. I'm humbled by the sharing, acceptance and knowledge of  others. Most of the time, I am no longer fearful to say there's something I don't know. I've learned to share the emotions as well, to open to the mystery ~ and the greater Mystery, and allow my intuition to lead. Then my "great art" ~ my writing ~ flows from the depths of me. Then I am willing to be with and among everyone, learning and sharing. All without certitude.

Where do you find yourself to be rigid? What crystallizes your attitude? your interactions with others? What is your "great art"? How do you practice it? What creates flow for you?

Altar of Not Knowing

Wow! It's been more than a fortnight since I posted a blog. The time has been eventful, as well as uneventful, in fits and starts. What it was, more than anything else, was full of life.

In the midst of this amazing fullness, this quote and image appeared. The image reminds me of places I've traveled. The concept of an 'altar of not knowing' resonates deeply. It sweeps me away....

The most remarkable element is that I intend to keep, or perhaps allow, things to remain undefined. In the midst of shift. Among the changes. Flowing outward. Definition would stop the movement and create a stopping place instead of granting the movement the space to create and define itself.

Daily bowing, kneeling, visiting the altar of not knowing keeps my focus on the flow, the moment, the possibility. It keeps me awake. It brings me to the limit of love with mystery.

Where are you? What would your altar be named? How are you with keeping things undefined?

Watching Like a Cat

In myth and lore, magic and mystery, Cat has nine lives, curiosity, independence, cleverness, unpredictability and healing, and is at home in the dark, often associated with fears. Cat helps people move through their fears efficiently.

The energy field of a cat rotates in a counterclockwise direction, the opposite of a human energy field, giving cats the ability to absorb and neutralize energy that affects humans in a negative way. This is part of cat's healing medicine.

I'm always fascinated by the poses my cats take. Lazing across a chair on a hot afternoon, this cat practically hangs his head over the edge of the chair, surveying his domain. He looks half asleep, but if anything moves, he's up and ready to pounce.

One of the qualities attributed to cats is patience. I've found that patience is and is not a cat trait. On the one hand, it often appears Cat can wait forever for something to move. On the other hand, if something moves elsewhere, Cat shifts focus to the new movement. Personally, this exhibits Cat's propensity for being in the Moment. "Well," Cat seems to conclude, "if there's no movement or life here, maybe the movement over there will be tasty." Yes, I also believe everything Cat does is related to its stomach.... Why else does it need to pounce?

How does that single-mindedness relate to me? I often find myself so completely focused on a thought or description or desire that nothing else matters. What I like about Cat's way is that when there is movement elsewhere, perhaps I would be better off with a refocus of my attention. Something new to practice while I laze around on a hot late summer afternoon!

What trait or traits do you see in Cat? Which draws your attention? How does that trait show up in your life? How can you practice it?

Experience the Mystery

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.
I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence - as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."

~ Albert Einstein

This beautiful double rainbow graced one of my recent visits to the coast. The sun was bright and the rain was soft. The expanse of the double rainbow ranged across the ocean. My camera couldn't capture it all and do it justice. In reality, the colors ~ narrow washed out bands in this image ~ pulsed with life and vibrancy. Although I have heard and read scientific explanations about the cause of rainbows, and even double rainbows, what I felt in the moment was awe. Knowledge trumped by Mystery.

My life progresses as a series of these kinds of moments. Perhaps not contiguous moments, yet ones that, if and when I allow myself to notice, spark life into each day. From the first light glimmering through my window in the morning to the flowers blossoming in the yard to the redtail hawk soaring overhead to the glow of the moon in a night-dark sky. From the purring of my cat to the beat of the music as I drive to the sounds of laughter to the burble of the fountain to the heartfelt 'thank you' from a co-worker. I could go on and on and on. When I notice, when I take the blinders from my own eyes, when I stop planning and remembering and pondering, I am blessed by the love of Mystery.

When do you feel awe? What do you notice that brings you joy? How do those feelings express themselves in your life?

Adventure in Artistry

"This is the sort of adventure that rips you open, dripping with life-force. Delivers you to mystery. Unfastens you from what comforts you. Frees you to allure you to the edge, to the liminal, misty, in-between-space and time where soul thrives, madness bubbles, heart tears open, where women and men heal, sob, tremble hard, and learn to serve soul, humans, other-than-humans and the earth with fierce care and solid artistry.
Artistry is a way of living. ... We are naturally evolutionary artists of soul -- individually and collectively. Our work, perhaps, is to remember this. And to share the remembrance lavishly. No holding back. No apologies."                            ~  Melissa LaFlamme

Living in and with and within artistry is an incredible adventure. Sometimes I sit at the edge of that adventure and stare wide-eyed into the hazy spark of life. I stutter and make false-starts, finding myself drawn in and scared away all at the same time. This is the type of adventure that has ever described my life. Not flying down a hill on skis or jumping from an airplane in free-fall. My personal adventure ~ and artistry ~ is internal, deep and full and expansive in so very many ways.

When asked what I want to do with my life when I grow up ~ though I am far beyond the physical 'grown up' phase ~ I say, "Write" or "Breathe" or "Travel" or any of those places and spaces that continues to take me on that ever-adventure of inner-outer to outer-inner and back again. I have lived a blessed life. My goal is to use? ~~ no, wrong term ~~ ride out the adventure as a blessing for myself and for those around me ~~ as a way of bringing wholeness and healing into the world.

From that place, I honor the final thoughts of Melissa's poetry: "No holding back. No apologies." Thank you, Melissa, for sharing your words ~ and allowing me to continue the sharing!

You can find Melissa and her words at https://www.facebook.com/melissaalaflamme