Ancestors' Dreams

We are our ancestors' wildest dreams.

As this gentle ancestor stares into that place called 'middle distance,' I wonder what she's seeing..... who she's listening for....

In my quiet lucid dream state, I rest on a bench beside her. She turns her head slightly, slides her eyes in my directions. The corners of her mouth barely turn up. Then she returns to her vague focus stare.

"What do you see, Grandmother?" I whisper.

"You, my child."

I blink, turn my head to see what she sees. A shadow-child slips across my field of vision. I blink again... and it's gone.

"How can you see me there when I am here beside you?"

"It is you ~ and not you, my darling. It is a wild dream of one who is to come. One who will heal the lineage from which she came. One who will dare to bring about the deepest and most necessary soul changes."

I was afraid to speak lest I jar her from her vision .... which is what I realized she was in. There was still more to come. I could see it in her eyes, clear and keen; in her posture, body alert and forward; in the way she held her head, tipped ever-so-slightly to one side as if listening for something.

A barking laugh emerged from her. After a pause, another. Then she lifted her head and a full, deep, extended belly laugh bubbled out of her. I smiled as I sat beside her, infected with the joy she was expressing.

"There are many of you, child. Many who will carry forth the life of our people as they walk on this earth. It brings me great joy to see their wild dancing selves! They laugh, play, love, wander. All the phases of life and earth bloom within them. Nothing grows without them."

I wanted to ask how she knew this. I wanted to tell her I understood. I wanted to run and hide. So much was in her vision of the world. How could I live up to her expectations?

As though she read my thoughts, she said, "It is not only you, child. It is all my children and my children's children and my children's children's children on and on and on. That's what brings me joy. Because it also brings me hope."

I sat beside her for awhile longer. Quiet, reflective. One moment I was aware of her at my elbow, the next my head was jerking up as though from dozing. The old woman was gone. My memory of her was clear yet ever so slowly fading. I found myself staring into that same middle distance she did ~ and wondering when I would be old enough and wise enough to see the way she saw.

What would your ancestor look like? How would you be with them? What does your dreaming self hear them say? How do you express being your ancestors' wildest dream? How would you like to dream your children's and children's children's worlds?

When I Grow Old

My life has been blessed by a series of events ~ or perhaps more truly, a splattering of events ~ that have led me to ponder life as a Crone.
Here is my story:

I have met myself as an old woman,
an impossibly old woman,
living inside
an impossibly old, hollowed out tree....
in another lifetime.
She is/I am
strong,
healing,
determined.
A shape-shifter.
A spirit walker.
A seer, in every sense of the word.
I feel her within me.
I feel me within her.
I am afraid.
I am fearless.
I know nothing.
I apprehend all of life.
I hear the voices of the stars.
I dance to the music of the spheres.

I feel that old woman within me.... ever since she first showed up, in a journey, in a dream, in a conversation, more than 3 years ago. She shows herself when I need to see her. Whether I want to see her, to hear her does not matter. She stares me down, daring me to ignore her ~ or try to ignore her. Her laugh is full and dry, a sandpaper drum.

How often  are we presented with the opportunity to confront our future? to face down our own fear of aging and of death? to befriend who and what we will become?

Possibilities abound. What qualities will grow? Wisdom? Silence? Vision? Voice? What will diminish? Need to be seen? Soft skin? Desire for admiration? Fear? A new adventure approaches, quietly, noisily, expectantly, surprisingly ~~ so many moments approaching and flowing around me.

What do you see in your future? How does age affect you? Do you embrace its approach? Do you reject it? Are you afraid of the changes that come with age? Have you had an opportunity to converse with and learn from your elders?

July 2015 Aquarius Blue Moon

July 31st is the second Full Moon of the month which makes it a Blue Moon. This Moon is eight degrees Aquarius and with the Sun in Leo, there is opportunity for choice: open to the group or detach and go solo. Or find the balance between independence and interdependence.

This Full Moon is also alive with vision and new horizons. Like a TV dish, it draws insights from the ether. Because of its capacity to focus on the future, it has trouble in the present. Create the ideal and keep the feet firmly planted on Mother Earth. Be sure the foundation is solid and be willing to illuminate whatever fears, tensions or apprehensions show up. Deal with them. Feel them. Face them. Upgrade those feelings. Breathe through any changes or breakthroughs. And be ready for any 'ahas' that may show up, for any radical upgrades in thinking, organizing, perceptions of reality.

What are you feeling as this Full Moon lights up the sky? How can you open yourself to changes? What is the Full Moon lighting up within you? How solid is your foundation? What can you do to shore it up?

Watching Like a Cat

In myth and lore, magic and mystery, Cat has nine lives, curiosity, independence, cleverness, unpredictability and healing, and is at home in the dark, often associated with fears. Cat helps people move through their fears efficiently.

The energy field of a cat rotates in a counterclockwise direction, the opposite of a human energy field, giving cats the ability to absorb and neutralize energy that affects humans in a negative way. This is part of cat's healing medicine.

I'm always fascinated by the poses my cats take. Lazing across a chair on a hot afternoon, this cat practically hangs his head over the edge of the chair, surveying his domain. He looks half asleep, but if anything moves, he's up and ready to pounce.

One of the qualities attributed to cats is patience. I've found that patience is and is not a cat trait. On the one hand, it often appears Cat can wait forever for something to move. On the other hand, if something moves elsewhere, Cat shifts focus to the new movement. Personally, this exhibits Cat's propensity for being in the Moment. "Well," Cat seems to conclude, "if there's no movement or life here, maybe the movement over there will be tasty." Yes, I also believe everything Cat does is related to its stomach.... Why else does it need to pounce?

How does that single-mindedness relate to me? I often find myself so completely focused on a thought or description or desire that nothing else matters. What I like about Cat's way is that when there is movement elsewhere, perhaps I would be better off with a refocus of my attention. Something new to practice while I laze around on a hot late summer afternoon!

What trait or traits do you see in Cat? Which draws your attention? How does that trait show up in your life? How can you practice it?

You Matter

When this image crossed my Facebook page, every facet of my being focused on it. Entirely. I realized these few statements expressed the current of my way in the world. The flow of who I am.

The formatting of this image doesn't highlight the words calling my heart: Purpose, Story, Dreams, Voice, Impact. When I give VOICE to the PURPOSE arising in and from my DREAMS, it IMPACTS the STORY. How would you use those words to express what is important to you? Would you use others either instead of or along with those that jumped out at me? How would it sound?

I believe in listening to every voice I can hear in the world: people, animals, the wind, the rain, thunder, traffic, etc. Sound is significant. Only in that listening way can I hear the purpose of the owners of those voices, the ones who often want so desperately to be heard. The content of what is said gives rise to the dreams and stories which continually impact each other's dreams and stories so that our interdependence shows and flows.
What do you dream?