A New Year: 2020

As the New Year began, I read several posts suggesting, or perhaps hoping, that 2020 would be a year of clear vision. Like so much of life, it depends on where we begin, where we hope to go, and how attached we are to how we get there or what it looks like when we arrive.

When we open our senses and sensibilities to the experiences of a new year...a new decade...we may actually find a rawness there. A wildness. A birthing. These are messy things. Not only because they're new to us, but also because they take us to the edge, to a place we may not be totally sure we want to, or even are able to, claim.

Let's be honest about the 'clear vision' thing too. It's not about clearing our vision to being 20/20. It's about clearing out what keeps us near-sighted, only able to see to the end of our noses. It's about clearing out what hounds us to stay far-sighted, only able to see months or years into the future. In each of those modes, we miss the Now, the current moment. Near-sighted, we miss the milieu of life around us. Far-sighted, we miss what lives and breathes right before and beside us.

On to the wildness, the rawness of it. The Now seems tame because it is immediate. Yet to be Present to the Now means to face whatever arises in this ever-present, ever-changing moment. We often say the only constant in life is change. What happens when we go beyond saying it to acting it out? We open ourselves to the sudden wild squalls that arise within us, the deepest feelings that show up, happy or sad or angry or willful. We acknowledge them and experience them, even if we choose to keep them to ourselves. We allow the wild within us to remain untamed and real.

In the Now, we forgive ourselves for the moments when we go beyond feeling to expression. We notice the wild expression and acknowledge it, asking forgiveness for the moments when our expression strikes out at others. That's part of the wildness, the rawness of the Now, of being in the moment, of being awake to and seeing clearly the complexity of who and what we are as we enter this new year of 2020.

How do you define 'clear vision'? Is it important to you? How do you use 'clear vision' to set your goals? What is wild in your personal Now? What do you attempt to tame? How is your life different when you are open to your own wildness? 

Sacred Darkness, Holy Light

We are in a season of changing Light. Slight as changes may be, we acknowledge, and even celebrate, them. Of course, Solstice is the most grand, being one of the Cross Quarters humanity has long ritualized.

Seeking to describe this change of Light, I found this poem. Its stunning opening:

The voyager that   

Travels the furthest

Light is a traveler. Its mission: traveling across miles & miles & miles of space to reach us.... collectively and individually.

Humanity has always worshipped the Light, whatever its Source. The Sun. The Moon. Volcanoes. Stars. Fire. Each of these Sources produces awe and wonder. Our first keeping of time was by Light: Sun and Moon for the day; length of SunLight and MoonLight for the seasons, the year. We mark our lives by those same sources of Light.

We also acknowledge the changing faces of the Moon. Light as Traveler finds its way from the Sun to the Moon. From there, Light turns its reflection our way. What an odd way to travel! Currently, we celebrate the New Moon ~ a time of no reflected light. Does that mean Light is not traveling? Not possible! And then, there's the Solar Eclipse. The New Moon and Solar Eclipse occurring within hours of each other. This Solar Eclipse brings opportunity for expansiveness, generosity and big dreams. In Capricorn, it leans us toward regaining control over our life, embracing maturity, and forming a practical plan to achieve goals. With Solstice less than a week past, this is a season in which we notice the Light....and pray that the Light notices us.

This is the season of Change. Winter Solstice: the turning from Sacred Darkness to Holy Light. Summer Solstice: the turning from Holy Light to Sacred Darkness. This Voyager, this Ambassador reaches us for the shortest or the longest of days. It's all about the turning of our world.

On our travels through our lives, our personal world turns. Sometimes it's joy and warmth; sometimes it's too hot and bright. Most people prefer the light times, just as most people prefer the yearly season of Light. It feels more comfortable.

Without Sacred Darkness, we would not recognize Holy Light. One is found in the presence of the other. Darkness replenishes us. We sleep at night. In a darkened room. Our circadian rhythms shift with the shifting of the Dark and Light. We need sleep which finds us during the Sacred Darkness. Sacred Darkness enfolds us as we grieve or have needs or fears. Comfort comes from this enfolding when we allow it, when we open our hearts to let the breath of Sacred Darkness breathe us as well. We know this place instinctually, yet often ignore or even run away from it. As with Holy Light, Sacred Darkness is a gift.

How do you celebrate the season of Light? What rituals do you perform? Do you do them with a community? or on your own? How do you differentiate between the Holy Light and the Sacred Darkness? What do you feel this Solar Eclipse brings to you? How do you address the Shadow cast by the Light? and the Aura that's left?

Full Moon in Gemini 2019

©2005 ML Monroe

Aaaah.... Here we are. The last Full Moon of the year ~ many say of the decade. In my personal way of counting, this decade ends with 2020. But that's just nit-picking....

Gemini Full Moon urges us to dive deeper into the power of our Self and use it to work with circumstances around us that are out of our personal control. Each challenging situation encourages us to find and express our deepest, truest Self. Gemini's objectivity and neutrality gives this Full Moon flexibility, perspective and adaptibility as we do that.

Friends and I have jokingly said that 2019 has been the Dickensian best of times (and) worst of times, the epoch of belief (and) the epoch of incredulity. A year of changes, of metamorphoses, of activations, it demanded we shift perspective and shake off what doesn't serve us individually or as members of the collective. And it's led us to the Gates of 2020 and our best future Self.

Being in the sign of the Twins, events and challenges may occur in twos. This energy may follow a similar path or may diverge into opposing ones. Two facets of our life may tug our attention. We may be of two minds on a decision that's before us.

As Saturn and Pluto come closer to their alignment (exact January 12th), they keep us reeling between the visible, concrete Middle World (Saturn's realm) and the hidden, secret Lower World (Pluto's realm). All this while the square of Neptune's influence ~ which can cause us to slip and slide into fantasy and forgetfulness as well as loose our inflexible grip on physicality and connect to intuition ~ obliges us to face our disappointments by surrendering our limiting beliefs, reassessing our priorities, and confronting our difficult truths.

Remember that Full Moon energy is all about releasing what no longer serves us. This Full Moon provides the opportunity to let go of whatever we wish to leave behind as we enter the new year. This includes any issues that arose around the time of the last eclipse on July 16th. Ablsolutely anything on which we need closure. Spend time considering this carefully.

Healing is a strong theme since right now, on this edge of the Full Moon, Chiron ~ the Wounded Healer asteroid ~ goes direct in Aries after being retrograde since July 8th of this year. Assess our physical, mental and emotional health. Schedule a check-up. Follow up on a health issue that's been niggling at us. Boost our immune system. Get a massage or give our Self a bit of extra care. Be kind to our Self. Speak up for our Self. Appraise our spiritual and soul health. Be clear about our motives. Practice self-acceptance.

Rest and breathe before the new year ~ and the coming eclipse season ~ begins. Slow down and listen closely for messages from the Divine. Trust your intuition.

What feels out of place in your life? What habits, behaviors, patterns are you willing to let go of? What habits, behaviors, patterns are you ready to bring into your life? How will you allow space for your own health and healing? How can you more clearly be the person you want to be? What is your opinion of your Self? How can you better accept who you are now?

Open to Gold

Over the past year, I've experienced some health challenges. One modality with a significant influence on my healing process has been acupuncture.

At my most recent session, two separate practitioners worked in the same space with two clients ~ myself and another woman. The room was large. The practitioners spoke quietly and were attentive to their own client. Still there were moments of energetic crossover.

I entered the room and my session first. My needles were mostly in place, the conversation completed, before the second client and practitioner entered. In this way, although there was crossover, there was also flow.

Every time I heard a piece of the conversation from the other side of the room, I'd take a deep breath, release it slowly even as I released the connection to the words entering my own healing bubble. Every release took me deeper into the healing. It was a good practice.

At one point, as I released, I saw my head and shoulders as a cameo image viewed from above. Cameos generally have white, pink or cream colored areas around the edges. Mine were gold. Like the image above, those edges were smoky and flowing, changing as I breathed in and out. A feeling of cool green grass beneath me tickled my ears and cheeks. One more breath in and I released the image as well, sinking deeper even as my outer awareness expanded. In what seemed a brief time, my practitioner returned, asked me if I was ready to be finished, and removed the needles.

The aura surrounding me felt like a visitation ~ something of precious beauty and grace. Oddly, I didn't feel a strong need or desire to hang on to it. I simply wanted to know more about it. What was it? What did it mean? Why had it happened at that particular time, on that particular visit?

Golden auras are considered rare. Generally they occur either because one's heart is opening up or because compassion is flowing into the heart. It brings generosity, protection, peace and reasonableness. Just as gold represents wealth, a golden aura represents spiritual wealth. Most traditions see it as a blessing from the Divine. (Hence, golden Buddhas, golden halos, golden dieties, etc.)

An aura moving from green to gold ~ as my sensation of green grass with the golden aura ~ signifies healing and opening to blossoming golden energy. The green into gold image symbolizes the Tree of Life ~ golden with a center of the green aura of the heart. The heart chakra is called Anahata (the untouched) in Sanskrit. It's where we carry our deepest truths, loves and being. Our heart does not judge or struggle. It flows and changes direction as the will focuses on continuing life.

The spiritual nature of gold, particularly around the heart, is one of awakening, compassion and forgiveness. Gold shows in the aura as one is coming into their personal power ~ their Essence or Being ~ without the constraints of Ego.

My experience seems to be a common one with golden auras. A temporary energy. A passing visit. I hope to cultivate its continuance. The hardest sensation to explain is that it did not exactly feel good. It felt as though I was in a space of higher service. It felt connected, available, expansive. Although these words are considered positive, the space was one of neither positivity nor negativity. It simply was.

This momentary enlightenment passes. Some of the moments may be longer than others. It is difficult to contain, to maintain, when participating in human life. My wish is that every person, at some time in their personal spiritual journey, experience that golden aura.

How do you experience your Essence? What do you see in your quiet, meditative moments? or your Dreamtime? What colors do you see or feel or experience during these times? Where do you experience your center of Compassion?

Teabag Tarot: Today's Gratitude

Buddha Tea

This morning I woke softly with gentle wisps from a dream circling my head. Not that the dream itself was soft or gentle. So much more than that, it was significant.

The details remain deep within me. They provide a pattern of explanations for much that I've been experiencing these past few weeks.

So, what does that have to do with being grateful? I'm grateful for the nudging of the issues which arose recently. Honestly, some shoved more than nudged. All seemed relatively small and even unrelated, until the dream. I'm grateful for the perspective.

When people talk about being grateful for adversities which arise in our lives, I generally get annoyed or even angry. "Be grateful for your car accident." or "Thank the Divine for being downsized out of a job." are absurd statements that border on being abusive for so many reasons. Adverse situations, feelings of fear or personal losses are nothing to make flip comments about.

My issues tugged at me, took me into dark moments, created feelings of fear or overwhelm. They nagged at the back of my mind as I slept. Enough so that I lost sleep over them. Enough so that I dreamed about them. Then, last night, the dreams coalesced into one ~ and took me for an unexpected ride into my past and my emotional attachment to a story I had from it. Like an arrow, they pointed to one particular incident and one forgotten feeling. Shot by that arrow, I woke chuckling quietly and thinking, "Oh! So that's where all this is coming from!"

Gratitude is a practice. I could have gone through that entire dream process and never allowed it into my heart. My practice of gratitude ~ noticing and being thankful for even the littlest things in my life ~ helped seal the lesson in place. I'll probably continue to work with it. Each time it surfaces, the lesson will go a little deeper until I finally shower it with enough light and gratitude to break it apart. For that, I am thankful.

What little things nag at you? How do they show up? Do they ever join together? What do your dreams tell you about them? Do you practice gratitude? If so, how does it affect your life? If not, why not? How does that affect your life?

11-11 A Day to Remember

Armistice Day in Philadelphia

"The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month...."

11 is the number associated with faith. The significant timing for the beginning of peace ~ or more precisely, the ending of armed combat ~ after the War to End All Wars.

And yet, it didn't end all wars. Just over 20 years later, another World War began. And there have been skirmishes around the world ever since. As there had been prior to World War I.

An article came across my news feed yesterday. Though I can't provide a link to it, bits and pieces of the article remained with me, hid themselves in my mind and struck a chord in my heart. The gist of what stuck was two-fold. In a paratrooper's letters home, they described not only the conditions of war, but also the conditions of their training for war. Essential to the training is the building of camaraderie among the troops. A trust and companionship so deep that they would be willing to lay down their lives for each other. In truth, during battles, that's precisely what does happen. Even if they do not step in front of a bullet for one another, if they did not act as a group, a team, there's little to no chance of success ~ whether one deems that winning the battle or getting out alive or both. The resonance for me shimmered in an image I had of my father with other veterans: even if they had not fought in the same troop, the same battle, perhaps even the same war, they shared a deep connection. They knew a side of life I certainly did not.

The second bit that struck a chord was the casual way death was addressed in the letters. Death itself was not casual, but death walked with them on the battlefield, jumped with them from the planes. They spoke of knowing that death would come for some, might come for them. Though their words didn't say it directly, they seemed prepared for it. Calm. Perhaps because that's what they needed to be in order to stay safe with their comrades.

I am not, nor have I ever been, an advocate of war. I ache for the families who have suffered losses and for the lives that have been cut short. I detest that money can purchase someone's way out of participating while others are conscripted. Still, I honor and appreciate all those who join their life force with any Armed Forces. May they experience that honoring wherever they are.

How have you been affected by war? by Armed Forces? What stories have you read or heard? How has war ~ and armistice ~ touched your life? Where do you feel camaraderie?

Loneliness vs Solitude

FOMO is an expression meaning fear of missing out. Before recognizing repeated occurrences of FOMO in social media posts, I didn't consider that particular fear a phenomenon in and of itself. I thought of it more in the realm of an anxiety. That doesn't mean I didn't experience it, only that I didn't know others did as well.

In Paul Tillich's quote, FOMO would fall into the category of the pain of being alone, of a sort of loneliness. We humans are social beings. When we feel left out of something ~ whether by the choice or action of others or those of ourselves ~ we feel uncomfortable, edgy.

These moments can be anything: the need to study instead of going to a movie; not being invited to a TGIF; being a vegetarian/vegan at a company BBQ; discovering friends didn't tell you before eloped; listening to travel stories of family members. The list could go on for pages. All of us feel these moments. The weight of this kind of loneliness can be as light as dust or as heavy as an anvil or anywhere in between. The hope is that as we grow (not necessarily age-related), we learn ways to pass through these moments more easily. Though, in truth, passing through them is never really easy.

Solitude, on the other hand, is often chosen. A solo trip to a new location, from a friend's new home to Machu Picchu, Zion National Park or Paris. Going to a movie because it's one we want to see or we have the time to see. Taking a walk through a local park. Eating lunch away from the office. Solitude doesn't always mean we are off in the woods totally by ourselves. It does mean we are set apart from those who are generally around us.

For about a year, I wavered between these two emotional reactions to being alone. I was going through a health adventure, as I called it. Friends and family members helped me through it, cared for me, and listened to my stories along the way. Even so there were moments when I wanted to do something only to find that it was beyond me. I couldn't go to a concert for which I had purchased the tickets, so others got to go instead. I subscribed to an online course that I couldn't finish, so I was left out of the camaraderie. I felt the pangs of loneliness. On the other hand, many days spent alone with my cat, my thoughts and books on CD, taught me to cherish the solitude of that healing time.

What experiences of being alone have you had recently? How did you feel about that time? What experience of yours can you relate to FOMO? What helps you get through loneliness or FOMO? How is your experience of solitude different from your experience of loneliness?

The Floating Spirit

After handwashing the pan used for cooking my breakfast, I turned from the sink and hung it on its peg on the wall. As I walked away, a flicker of light caught my eye. A bubble! The size of a toddler's fingertip, it floated six inches in front of me and almost as far above my head. Fluidly and languidly, it bounced on every movement of the air. I played with that air. Gently waving my hand above it, under it, in front of it, behind it, the bubble moved liquidly on an invisible river. Not only my flitting hands moved the tiny rainbow shimmer, but also my breath and, of course, every movement of my body.

As I paused in the midst of my delight, I thought, how like the currents of my life were the dances of this bubble! Every movement it made was influenced by every movement of the air around which in turn was influenced by the movement of all in its environment. Connected to all. A fantastic floating spirit.

It was a good thing that no one was in the kitchen to see me as I stood in fascination with mouth agape and eyes alight. My entire being was electric with thoughts, ideas, feelings, images, dreams. Every atom focused on that teeny rainbow flicker. My only wish was to have a way to record all that was happening within me as I observed what was fleetingly happening.

Some of the thoughts and images, though brief and random, have remained with me. The first was simply awe. How often do we relax into the opportunity to feel awe?There are moments when I allow awe to sweep over me: a beautiful sunrise over the mountains on my drive to work; the first sweep of Spring flower blossoms; the delight of discovery shining in a child's eyes. Yet those are often only moments in the midst of moving on to do something else. Even so, I hope to always breathe a quick "thank you" for the nudge that awakens me to noticing it.

What was the last time you felt the sweep of awe? What do you recall of that moment? How often do you feel awe? Can you recall the sensations in your body? the responses in your mind? the focus of your soul?

AstroCoaster Week

For anyone who hasn't noticed, this week is overflowing with powerful heavenly events! Sunday and Monday favored us with the New Moon in Scorpio. This New Moon is taking us deeper into ourselves ~ particularly our darker or shadow side. Though there's nothing wrong with that, it's not an easy trip. It will be well worth it if we remain aware and plant the seeds of our intentions deep.

This New Moon is setting us on a new course, revealing new information to us. Scorpio's influence is strong: what has been hidden in the dark is showing up in the light. First, in the light of the Dark Moon. Then, in the light of our lives.

We need to keep in mind that there is a broader perspective to all that is currently happening. If we do that, we can see the pattern unfolding ~ and within that pattern, the beauty. Scorpio draws our secrets and our shadow self into the light.

Dancing through its archetypes of Scorpion, Eagle and Phoenix, Scorpio is the sign of transformation, the embodiment of the cycles or life, death and rebirth. The veils between the cycles are thinnest at this time of year. We are in the holy season of death which is honored in various cultures as Samhain, Dia de los Muertos, All Souls Day, to name a few. This is also the time we reach beyond the seen world in order to connect with unseen ones. We experience all of the fragility and all of the empowerment of life.

As we progress through that transformation, we recognize ~ and accept ~ that the path to greater wisdom takes us through some scary places. We don't have to remain afraid there. Death can also refer to releasing the power of whatever is toxic in our lives: fears, addictions, etc. As we step away from the negative, we can face whatever comes and continue on into the light and to freedom. A new power is forming within us that will carry us into 2020. A sense of humor will help us concentrate on the Divine in the Universe.

The Sabian Symbol for the 5th degree of Scorpio is "a massive, rocky shore like a wild ocean crashing into a rock cliff shoreline, but it is actually more an intense awareness of one of the facts of existing." This degree is one of holding the stillness at the core of our being. In brief: holding stable in the midst of everything.

October 31st will bring with it not only Halloween, but also Mercury retrograde. Remember that Mercury rules over communication and proceed with caution since Scorpio will still be in influence as well. This might be a time to tone down any plan for craziness or pranks.

How are you feeling as you pass through these astral currents? What does the broader perspective for your life look like? How do you embody your power? Name your fears in order to better face them. Call in what you want to replace them. What in your life is being called to transformation?

Seven of Pentacles

Rider-Waite-Smith

Ever have one of those days when you wake up feeling both wonderful and stressed? Life's good ~ great even ~ yet there are momentary set-backs or thoughts or feelings whisking one away to the dark side. To offset these fluctuating emotions seemingly so at odds with each other, I renewed my practice of drawing an oracle card.

Today's card is the Seven of Pentacles. A very fitting draw. The Seven of Pentacles is about pausing for a moment and taking stock of where one is ~ in the world, financially, at work, in society in general. And it's a good place to be. In the Rider-Waite-Smith image, the pentacles/coins are flowering on a plant. They are still in the growth phase, recognizable as the fruit and looking good...yet not quite ready for the harvest. The farmer looks at them, checking out where they are in their growth. This is a card of patience for a coming reward.

Shapeshifter Tarot

In the Shapeshifter Tarot, the Seven of Pentacles is titled Growth. There is a sense of forward motion as well as a blossoming of flowers and fruit. The horses on this card have a feel of movement. The woman and horse in the center look forward to.....something just over the horizon. Again, there is is a sense of waiting, of watchfulness, of wariness. Amidst all the light and beauty this is a time to pause, a time for reflecting on the possibilities of what is coming next.

When I see the beauty and abundance around me, my first tendency is to jump into it, to run over to the nearest fig tree, grab the fruit and take a bite. My impatience has more than once led me to spit out the bitter, not-quite-ripe fruit. I have caught myself anxious for something ~ from a meal to a blog post to bright sunshine or a snowfall ~ wanting what is not quite done, incomplete to express itself fully. The challenge remains to continue to wait for the fullness of time.


What have you wanted to be ready before its time? Did you catch yourself before biting into it? How do you prepare yourself for the challenge of waiting? Do you take stock of what has led to this time and continued to wait? Or rushed forward before things are ripe?

Full Moon in Aries 2019

In many ways, 2019 has been a challenging year. For me personally, there were health challenges and other crazy, chaotic moments. For one friend, it was a traumatic relationship. For another, the death of an intimate friend. For a third, one major household issue after another.

We have been in a crucible and are preparing to blow off the ashes and step into some significant shifts. This Aries Full Moon is set to guide our way from self-imposed limits to freedom, to bring us out from behind our masks.

Full Moons are about completion, fulfillment of a cycle. This one, called the Hunter's Moon, is no different, yet it also brings a sense of new beginnings with its energy in Aries, the first sign of the Zodiac. The change this Full Moon brings is drastic and transformative, revolutionary even. It's a time to take action, not sit by the sidelines waiting for someone else to take charge. This Moon is about our personal Independence and confidence adding our power into that of the collective. It fans our spark of competitiveness to defeat any monsters that may come our way.

This Full Moon is in a square to Pluto, demanding that we bring ourselves out from behind our guides and into the full light of our power. The Sun squaring Pluto the day after the Full Moon means that whatever hides in the deepest caverns of our psyched must be dealt with. We reach for our truest selves amidst any grief over the transformations the light forces us to take. We are heading toward our destinies.

This is all coming during Libra Season, our inspiration to transform what is out of balance. Libra is also a constant in holding us accountable and aware of the balance of justice. During this Aries Full Moon, it especially reminds us not to forsake ourselves. Even if the world attempts to cut us to shreds, we need to not add to the injustice by doing the same to ourselves.

What are you holding onto that is weighing you down and preventing you from shining more of your energy out into the world? What hidden elements are coming to light for you? How will you dust off the ash from the crucible of 2019 as we prepare to enter 2020?

Safe Comfort

Often attributed to George Eliot. The true author was Dinah Maria Murlock Craik.

The chaff and the grain grow together in my life. At times I feel like burning the whole lot down and starting over again. At times I cannot see clearly enough to separate the two. At times I mix them up and cling to the chaff while scattering the grain. Safe comfort is found with those standing beside me, holding me through my discernment process, providing a breeze to blow away what no longer serves.

My life has been remarkably blessed with the safe comfort of so very many friends. In general, it's been other women who have held me through thick and thin. Amazing numbers of women over time. In truth, not every woman I've met, or who's tried to stand with me, has fallen into that category of safe comfort. Some have betrayed my confidences. Others have moved just outside the circle because of their needs, their discomfort, their own reasons.

For whatever particular reason, I have found safe comfort more easily reached with women. It becomes, for me, all the more poignant in those instances when the safe comfort shows up in a man. I find it easier to describe what safe comfort is not than to list what it is.

It is not protection; I do not require protecting, even if I've been hurt. It is not a fix-it attitude; I do not require fixing, even if I seem broken. It is not discomfort with my tears, my frustrations, my cussing; I am human after all and these are deeply human expressions of deeply felt emotions. 

It is acceptance of the highs and pitfalls of life for all of us. It is allowing me to go through whatever I need to do to find my way forward. It is being available to listen without comment while I rant, to hold me when I wail, to challenge me to find my best self in the midst of any pain or joy.

What do you seek from a friend providing the safe comfort in the quote? With whom do you find that comfort? Do you find more of those providing that safe comfort fall into one camp or another? If so, how would you define the differences?

Teabag Tarot: Constancy

It's been waaay too long since I've written in this blog. Much has happened. Nothing has happened. Everything has happened. The past year has been busy, overfull, quiet, reflective, healing, amazing. Time for another shift.

The trigger for this shift? This Teabag Tarot hangs from my cup of steeping tea. I smile. It touches my endless soul, nudging me back to writing. Yay! Whew! It's about time! Words are important. They have the power to create and to destroy.

The framing of this small statement pointed me toward creation. Not only is our soul constant, continuous and endless. So is the beauty of that soul. The assumption is obvious: belief not only in the existence of the soul, but also in its continuity.

My personal focus is on its constancy. The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines constancy as steadfastness of mind under duress. That's the point. No matter what is going on. No matter the storms flinging themselves at our door. No matter the beauty or horror or tediousness in our lives. The beauty that lies at the core of our being is constant. *Sigh* What a concept! Something that we can rely on not because it reflects our outer world, but because it simply is that way.

Do you believe in your own soul? If not, what do you believe in? If so, how does it show you its existence? What beauty does your soul bring to the world? How does it provide constancy to and for you?

Vulnerable Steadiness

As I hurriedly moved my last bag out of my room at the beach, I drew up short to watch the very slow and steady progress of this slug. The grey walkway was smooth going, but there was the obvious gap and switch of terrain. The slug's feelers stretched out to assess its continued course. I put my bag down, groped for my phone, and noticed the steadiness of its progress. Slow, yet not hesitant.

My car packed, I continued to ponder the slug's movement. Was there meaning in my encounter with this creature? The obvious meaning was slow down. In today's culture of busyness, we move frenetically.  We live under the overarching theme of more ~ more work, more money, more play, more vehicles, more experiences, more house/s, more food, and the ultimate: more time. We act as though the faster we move, the more we can do and acquire. We forget that faster does not equate with better and quantity does not equate with quality. It reminds me of Harry Chapin's song Cat's in the Cradle:

My son turned 10 just the other day
Said, "Thanks for the ball, now c'mon let's play.
Will you teach me to throw?"
I said, "Not today.
I've got a lot to do." He said, "That's okay."
And he walked away and he smiled and he said,
"You know I'm going to be like you, Dad.
You know I'm going to be like you."

What we really need to do is slow down. More than that. We need to pay attention. Follow the trails written in the earth beneath us. Move at a steady, considered pace. Breathe deeply of the dew-soaked, loamy morning air. Touch all we love with tenderness. Allow every sense space to express and explore. Be awake and aware. Let your vulnerability be the voice of your strength.

What is your usual pace? Is it the same every day? What do you attend to as you move through your day? When do you slow down? What do you notice when you do? How can you move more slowly and observantly? Do you recognize when you are vulnerable? How do you express your vulnerability? Which of your senses is the strongest? Do you notice how every one of your senses processes the world around you? What one thing can you do to increase your awareness? How many times in the past week have you said something akin to 'not now' to someone or something you love?

Conscious Forgiveness

Today's Teabag Tarot shows up as Uranus the Change-Maker begins its transit in Taurus. Change ~ whether desired, expected or sudden ~ produces its own level of stress and anxiety. As we experience our own variety of change, interacting with others in the midst of theirs can be complex. Feelings are often on edge during these passages and are more easily hurt.

As we progress into the various stages of shift and change, we also have the opportunity to remember that we have choice. And control. Maybe not over what happens, but certainly over how quickly, radically or rationally we react. Even if we react with undue haste or rudeness, we can choose to express our regrets afterward.

If we are the ones hit by another's hasty retort or action, we have another type of choice: whether or not to forgive. As today's Teabag Tarot so clearly points out, forgiveness is up to us. It is an individual act of conscious choosing. Forgiveness softens us. It reveals our best nature, our recognition of the other's humanity.

As we learn and lean into forgiveness, it also helps us. Think about the last time someone hurt or offended you ~ called you a name, spoke poorly of your work or appearance, stole from you, any situation that caused you pain. Our first reaction is generally hurt. Then we slip into anxiety and blame. It's part of our human nature. Think about how your body feels at these moments ~ muscles tense, heart rate increases, breathing speeds up or gets held, all signs of adrenaline and norepinephrine kicking in. There's a desire to run, hide or fight.

For several years, I worked with someone who was a bully ~ and I was one of the targets. They were good at their job and bosses ignored their bullying actions. My personal way of reacting was to hide or freeze. This person chewed me out in front of other co-workers, providers and clients. Over time, I learned to actively step into curiosity, internal questions: What made this person so angry? Who had hurt them so badly that they felt the need to hurt others? What did they gain from their bullying? I noted other stressors in their work environment at the time of each outburst: encounters not going the way they wanted them to; a meeting going sideways; support personnel being absent. All changes they couldn't control. Their bullying behaviors didn't change, but my responses did. I was less cowed, more assertive or simply quiet. My capacity to forgive, though not changing the actions of the other, changed me. Each time adrenaline and norepinephrine kicked in, I still froze, but I recovered from the effects more quickly.

As we consciously move into forgiveness, we counter these physical effects. We can breathe through what feels like an attack. This is not as easy to do as it is to say. It's a practice ~ which is why it has to be conscious. But actively practicing it helps our overall health.

How do you react to change? Do you want to fight? flee? freeze? Do you carry grudges against others who have wronged you? How do you feel each time you think of or encounter that person? What are your physical reactions to these thoughts? What are your physical reactions if/when you ask for forgiveness? How about after that?

Taurus New Moon 2018

©2018 ML Monroe

The Taurus New Moon arrives on May 15th followed by metaphysical Uranus, the original change-maker, as it slips into Taurus. Unlike Lady Moon, Uranus will be there for most of the next 8 years (with a retrograde dip into Aries).

Taurus is about embodiment, stability and values. This New Moon is a good time to ground ourselves in our values. Uranus is about breathing into and surrendering to the constancy of change in our lives. Centering our energy on the present moment plants us in peace. Taurus supports our control over our awareness of our feelings, thoughts and actions. Uranus brings change accompanied by creativity.

This dual movement of the New Moon and Uranus into Taurus opens the space for us to align creating goals with our deepest soul values. Prioritizing this as we build new foundations keeps us stable. Not doing so leaves open an opportunity for those foundations to break apart. This is where we need both to ground with the secure consistency of Taurus and to flow with the awakening change of Uranus. Though there are bound to be growing pains, we need to trust the process.

A thought-provoking research item: the last time Uranus moved into Taurus was June 1934, where it remained (with a 6-month retrograde back to Aries) until August 1941. Historically, a time of major shifts in energy. Of course, a multitude of factors were in play during that time and no two transits are ever identical because of those other factors.

In 2018, a different set of factors point to this transit shifting us closer to a full honoring of the Divine Feminine in all of creation. Even if the world seems to descend into chaos, we rest in the Stillpoint of the Divine. Activities we can do to encourage the shift include dancing, walking, hiking, exercising, gardening. Getting outdoors. Being present in our bodies. Working with each and all of our senses to relate to our environment. Staying grounded in whatever manner works best for each of us.

How do you maintain grounding and inner peace? What is your personal relationship with the Divine Feminine? How aware are you of your guiding principle? What do you do when faced with change? How does your creativity express itself in the midst of upheaval? Who can you count on to help you focus?

Scorpio Full Moon 2018

Somewhere between April 29th and April 30th, Lady Moon reaches Her fullness in Scorpio. As with so many events that happen in Scorpio (especially those bringing light to the dark corners), this one promises to be a doozy. Every Full Moon challenges us to commit to a new fullness in our lives. Every Full Moon lights our way to seeing all the dimensions of that new fullness or path. This light-bringing is their greatest gift.

We often look at Full Moons as a time to call in what we want, what we need, what we are seeking. They are a time also of letting go. In essence, we have to let go of what continues to hide in the shadows during the light of the Full Moon in order to create the space for the Other, the Best Intentions for our next steps.

This particular Scorpio Full Moon was preceded by Pluto, the ruler of the Underworld ~ the Land of the Dead ~ and influencer of Scorpio, beginning its six months of retrograde in Capricorn by standing still. This movement, or seeming lack of movement, challenges us sit under the Bodhi Tree or Tree of Life communing with our own inner Plutonian shaman to face our deepest fears fully, which we are often less than willing to do. The light created by this Full Moon reveals our subconscious influences, giving us access to using their power in our favor. Find a mantra, see a dream image, direct a meditation ~ any of these can unlock our depths for or best interest.

Pluto and Mars ~ both having influences over Scorpio ~ currently create a receptive Lunar portal for deep connections with the Divine Feminine. All we need to do is set our intentions and destroy any negative or disconnected pieces of our past and dance, sing, praise, write, plant the seeds of cellular healing. Nourish our deepest Self in the energy of this Full Scorpio Moon.

Since both Saturn and Pluto are in Capricorn (the Middle World) right now, Mars' singular power brings us into close communion with Saturn's discipline and wisdom in conjunction with Pluto's transformative capacity to keep us focused and moving. We need the support of our ancestors, allies and guides as we maneuver the currents of this time of shift. We need to remember to ask for ~ and offer ~ help.

Two other planets join Pluto in retrograde right now: Jupiter and Saturn, making this what many call a retrograde trifecta. Jupiter is the change maker and can ease our desired transformation past stubborn Taurus. Practical Saturn supports success in our lives. Pluto finishes off the change masters by being the archetype of death and re-birth. So with Scorpio's truth-telling encouragement, Taurus doesn't stand a chance. Expect and reflect on various levels of breakthroughs. Shed your old skin. Trust that your goals will come to fruition in time. No rush.

One final consideration. Scorpio has three aspects. The Scorpion, stinging every passerby simply because that is its nature. The Eagle, taking the long view on silent, shadowing wings. The Phoenix, catching fire spontaneously and rising from its ashes. All three hide. All three are deadly in their own way. Each teaches us about Pluto's realm: Change, Death, Re-birth.

What transformation has come into the light recently? What long-term goal have you been working toward that needs a nudge to happen? Which of your ancestors, allies or guides is showing up in your life? Where is your personal Tree of Life? What practice will help you patiently reflect? Which of Scorpio's three aspects calls more urgently to you right now?

Aries New Moon 2018

Sometime between the evening of April 15th and the morning of April 16th depending on our location in the world, Lady Luna will be New in the sky. She will grace us in the sign of fiery Aries. Even so, this is a less challenging New Moon than the previous two.

Every New Moon is perfect for new beginnings. This one is particularly good for connecting with our Spiritual Self and Whoever or Whatever we believe in.

The Aries New Moon opens space for our questions about our beliefs, our attitudes and our actions, forcing us to define ourselves and to face what may no longer be working in our lives. Those questions may demand that we step beyond our comfort zones, something Aries both supports and calls forth. The intent is to provide more balance and gentle harmony in our lives.

Our relationships may also come under a new scrutiny with the influence of the Aries New Moon. Parts of those relationships may need to be redefined or issues within them may need to be addressed. Perhaps most importantly, this applies to our relationship with ourselves as well. We may be called to commit to a personal goal or to take positive action. Perhaps to move forward in confidence on a new project or simply to take charge of a part of our life that has slipped our notice until now. Aries brings a positive forward-moving action to all we begin during this New Moon.

What needs to change in your relationship to yourself? What attitude or habit do you want or need to change? What practice is being called into your life to connect your with your Spiritual Self? How will you take better care of yourself?

Finding Our Mythic Voices

Coming Waves ~ ©2018 ML Monroe

Myths are bigger-than-life stories filled with beautiful symbols and strong characters. They provide lessons about life, creation, and existence along with a sense of community, belonging and wonder.

Myths are also beautiful, subtle lies. They create magical auras of superiority and difference. As much as we may deny it, we are culturally, and some would say biologically, programmed to accept and believe this too. We want to be important, significant, recognized, acknowledged.

The false side of some of our most precious myths still flash with diamond-sharp light. The Crusades were a result of believing one group was Chosen and another was Heretic. The Holocaust. The Islamic State. The Armenian Genocide. We understand those big ones. Most of us do not subscribe to them.

Some myths are more subtle. Black males as inherently violent. Women created to be subservient. Racial/ethnic/cultural purity as important. Poor people as lazy. Rich people as arrogant. They may even be individual or family myths. Even though these myths may have some flash and sheen to them, they are significantly cutting, damaging and maybe even dangerous. The subtlety of these myths sweeps over us like an ocean wave. We feel its presence and even some of its power. Until it builds to the point of knocking us over, we often don't recognize the full force of impact.

The upside is that we have agency. We have the ability to change the stories, to rewrite the myths. The #MeToo movement is doing that. As is the #NeverAgain movement. And #BlackLivesMatter. We have the opportunity to reach within ourselves and rediscover the truth. Both our personal truth as well as the cultural and communal truth.

In the arena of personal myths, many have been passed to us by the community around us. We believe we are important or unimportant because that's what has been imparted to us. We believe we have control over others ~ often a myth inadvertently passed to the eldest child. We believe we are only popular if we are the captain of the football team or the mathletes. We believe we will not amount to anything or we have the right  us because of where we were born. Individual mythologies are numerous.

We have agency over these too. When we discover them and name them, we own them. They no longer own us. It takes focus and work after that to use our own mythic voices, those inner whispers that pointed out the fallacies in the myths, to rework and rewrite them. Doing so gives us a renewed strength with the bonus that it also bolsters our creative, mythic voice.

How do you know what myths have influence over your life? What personal myth have you believed that no longer serves you? What communal myth have you believed that no longer serves you? What steps will you take to change those myths? How loud ~ or quiet ~ is your mythic voice?

Discovering Truth in Mythic Voices

When it comes to mythology, we have diverse views concerning what it is, how to interpret it, who gets to define it, and why many of the myths echo each other. We also have differing ways of comparing our personal myths with ancient/traditional ones.

It is generally accepted that myths provide us with stories and symbols which shape our beliefs about ourselves, our community, our world, and our humanity.

Over time these stories and symbols grow into myths. Once that happens, we no longer question them. They structure the meaning and direction our minds use to define the way things are or are meant to be. As with so many things, myths are at their most powerful in our lives when they are so deeply ingrained, we don't name them. We believe we don't have to define them because they simply are. At that point, we generally have little awareness of their power over us.

We see this everywhere around us. Every day. All of our most noxious isms grow out of one or more of these unquestioned, deeply ingrained myths. And yet....many of our most cherished myths are also about change. Siddhartha Gautama sat under the bodhi tree until he reached enlightenment. Jesus preached about and shared all he had as an example of change. Kwan Yin choose to stay on the Earth plane to continue to be a compassionate source. Boudica, as queen of the British Celtic Iseni tribe, went to war to free her people from Roman rule, uncommon for a woman. Hercules. Mulan. Moana. Even Disney retells our myths. Sherlock Holmes. Lyra Silvertongue. Tom Sawyer. We find mythic characters everywhere. We listen to their mythic voices.

We have choice. We have agency. We determine which myths we will believe. Which we will follow. Which we will question.

Which stories live within your life? How do you determine what is myth? Are there beliefs you have about yourself that grow out of those stories or myths? What symbols are significant in your life? Where did you learn about those symbols? Why are they important?