My First Death Cafe

Today I attended and participated in my first Death Cafe. I heard about Death Cafe last October after their event had occurred. I found the title intriguing at the time. Other than curiosity, I felt no pull of interest in it.

In June, I heard about an upcoming Death Cafe event: a picnic in a park. It sounded innocuous enough. How deep into the subject can one go in a park? I hadn't bothered to ask the more pertinent question: How deep did I want to go? and it's accompanying: What does 'deep' have to do with it?

The day was broken into three parts: participatory 'assignment'; lunch (bringing one's own); participatory small group discussions. I dawdled enough with my regular Sunday morning routines that I missed (purposely) the first segment. I arrived halfway through lunch and parked my camp chair in a sunny spot to ground myself before the last segment ~ which is the one I really came to attend. When we began to gather, the instructions were that we would talk in our small groups for 40 minutes, have a dessert break, and then re-group for another 40 minutes. If we needed to do so, we could leave at the dessert break. Ah! A way out!

My small group consisted of two other participants and a person loosely deemed the guide of the group. Every group ranged from 4-5 people ~ and there were 7 or 8 groups. It was one of the most comfortable experiences I'd had discussing whatever we wanted to discuss regarding death. At the break, we gained another participant. I chose to remain. When it ended, I knew I'd return to attend another one.

After attending one, I have no clear description of what a Death Cafe is. It is experiential and unique to the group and individual. I'm glad that I pushed through my resistance to attend. You can find out more about them at: Death Cafe

Would you consider attending something titled a Death Cafe? What kind of images are conjured in your mind when you think of that term? Why would you choose to attend or not attend one?

Destiny Orientation, Part 2

Orienting ourselves in the direction of our destiny begins with openness. Having an open mind. Having an open, willing heart. Living with and in the open-ended.

In the Northern hemisphere, the basic orientation is toward the North Star, true north. In the Southern hemisphere, the orientation is toward the Southern Cross. Either way, there's a star, a constellation, something in the night sky, that directs our path. Something that shines through the darkness as a guide for us to follow.

Then there's the gyroscope. Wikipedia defines it as "a device for measuring or maintaining orientation" even when the orientation is not fixed.  I believe we each have an inner gyroscope that also guides us, especially when our orientation seems off kilter, out of focus, wobbly. That inner gyroscope orients us toward our future, our destiny. It balances us.

What we need to do is trust ~ which is often the toughest thing to do. It appears that some spinning thing with a heavy mid-section certainly can't balance us on the head of a pin, as a place we so often feel we're perched. Or on a tightrope strung across Victoria Falls or the Grand Canyon. If we trust, if we lean into its spinning and allow that inner gyroscope do its job, we find ourselves back on track, balanced once again.

When have you felt your inner gyroscope? How do you find the courage to trust its spinning? When was the last time you had to find the bright constellation in the night sky? How did you feel when you found it? Did you trust its direction?

Destiny Orientation, Part 1

Walking down the hall in the sub-basement of the school district office, I passed a sign that, at first, didn't quite register. The words slipped easily inside my brain. It took a few seconds for the irony to follow. This was the sign: Destiny Orientation. It was being offered in a computer lab. Huh. I wasn't quite sure how they were planning on orienting people to their destiny, but I certainly found the signage humorous.

More than anything else, I wondered how the school district could even suggest knowing anything about orienting people to their destinies. One would think that Destiny Orientation is what education is truly all about ~~ but then, one would be sadly mistaken. Unless one's destiny is about taking tests. Or doing what everyone else around you is doing. Ah, but that's mostly political chatter.

What I want to do is make a sign like this and put it up in my office to see if anyone notices. Or asks what it means. Or if it can open a discussion about what destiny is.... and how one orients oneself toward it.

How do you orient yourself? How do you know where your destiny lies? Where do you think it is? What kind of sign do you need ~ or have you seen ~ pointing it out to you?