Eye of the Divine

©2015 ML Monroe

For at least the past month, I have had the extraordinary experience of sitting in the Cave of the Goddess. Note that I did not say resting or sleeping. Although the activity was not physical, there was much happening in that deep, dark place.

Over and over again, soft shudders rippled through my body ~ when I heard unidentified noises and my imagination took me to even darker places; when I recalled the dear ones who died in the recent or distant past and my heart once again broke with grief; when I felt a soft caress pass over an exposed hand or cheek and my connection with the Divine grew more intimate.

Over and over again, my mind grappled with words that were not mine, with words to express concepts that had no words, with silence beyond all words. I am a creature of words and my grappling was, and is, a nearly physical ache.

This Cave exists in many different places, myths and cultures. Sometimes it is an actual opening in rock; sometimes it is a built structure of enclosure, quiet and darkness. Always, it's a place for Seer and Prophet, Sibyl and Oracle. The Cave of Elijah in Israel. The temple of the Pythia in Delphi. The Ailwee Bear Caves in Ireland. Mary Magdalene spending her last years in a cave. The Anchorage of Julian of Norwich. The Actun Tunichil Muknal Cave in Belize. The Elephanta Caves in India. The Dambulla Cave in Sri Lanka. The Sof Omar Caves in Ethiopia. All mythic, all holy to a variety of belief systems.

Venturing forth from my personal Cave of the Goddess, I encountered the dark sky and lovely moon and clouds. Clearly, in an amazing veiled form, was the face of the Divine ~ the Moon as the Light-providing Eye. The Face shifted from male to female and back again ~ the Face of the Ineffable Light. It's not clear that my time in the Cave is complete. For now, I'm happy to bask in the Moonlight and wait.

What do you see in the image above? What is your Cave? Where do you feel most at home? How do you encounter the Divine? How do you encounter the darkness and quiet of the Cave?

Tattoo Heritage

What is my heritage? How many different peoples populate my genetics? Where were/are they from? What have they passed on to me?

From my parents and grandparents, my sole inheritance is Polish. In some very ways, that leaves open the possibility ~ more likely, the probability ~ that I have a variety of genetics. Poland's history is a country often overrun by outsiders. If recent history is any tell, that means the men being killed and the women being raped and left pregnant with mixed blood children.

My father was dark ~ black hair, olive skin, brown eyes. My mother, fair ~ a 'carrot-top' child, chestnut-haired adult, medium-toned skin, blue eyes.  How did two such varied types come from the same small land? It was explained as 'the hill people' and 'the valley people' ~ presumably those from the open valley being more subject to raids and intermarriage. Were those my mother's people?

So why the interest in women with tattooed faces? Because I feel drawn to these women. I always have. It's as though something within me searches for the tribe or tribes from which I've come.

The woman above is Armenian. The image is from the Genocide Museum. Her coloring and features ~ straight nose, wide eyes, dark brows ~ are so close to my father's. Could I have come from her lineage?

Then there's the Kurdish woman. Blue-eyed, fairer-skinned. Is her lineage akin to mine? Her eyes are deeper set, but that dimple on her left cheek looks like the one I inherited from my mother.

What about your heritage? Is there some cultural element ~ a tattoo, hair style, movement ~ that attracts you without your knowing why? How much does it matter where we come from? What tribe do you claim and belong to now?

Kintsugi Dancing

Kintsugi (金継ぎ^?) (Japanese: golden joinery) or Kintsukuroi (金繕い^?) (Japanese: golden repair) is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum  ...  As a philosophy it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. 




I'm currently in the midst of two group expressions and experiences of going into the darkness with the Goddess. This is the time of year for this passage. As any time of groping around in a dark passage, what I find is evidence of brokenness. Evidence that reveals how the broken pieces have healed and rejoined is also tangible in that darkness.

Finding it embedded deep within reminded me of the Japanese art of Kintsugi, joining broken pieces with elements of powdered precious metals to make art out of brokenness. That's what I am: art with visible broken places and shiny scars exposing the unique beauty of how I have healed.... and how much has returned to wholeness.

In the midst of these visions and memories, I am awestruck by the difference in my outlook. It's easier to accept my flaws, to embrace the healing and to let go of the wounding arrows. I'm by no means perfect, inside or out. What I am is reunited. What I am is reformed. What I am is released. It's always my choice as to how I walk in this world, whether I twist and bend to hide the broken places or dance fully revealed and let the scars show that piece of who I am.

What about you? How do you walk in this world? Do you let your brokenness show? What pieces do you keep hidden? Are you aware of your own beauty? How does that awareness define your movement?

New Moon in Scorpio: Shifting our Alignment

Meteor showers assail the skies around us all the time. Sometimes, we can even see them. A New Moon provides even more darkness than other night skies.

Today's meteors are named the Taurids. According to Wikipedia:

The Taurids are an annual meteor shower associated with the comet Encke. They are named after their radiant point in the constellation Taurus, where they are seen to come from in the sky. Because of their occurrence in late October and early November, they are also called Halloween fireballs.

While the night sky is alight with these meteors, the New Moon rests Herself in Scorpio. This New Moon is about our power and our transformation. She shows us what our power is and provides the opportunity to align our life's purpose to it ~ or not. We always have choice.

As with every New Moon, this one is about releasing ~ like the deciduous trees in Autumn ~ and allowing the energy to pull us deep within and center us in our core. Scorpio, under the care of Pluto, ruler of the Underworld, is all about death and rebirth, completion and new beginning. Resting in Scorpio means there is no avoiding diving deep into the Self. If we allow it and trust our instincts, we can arise a true hero with strength and renewed purpose. Scorpio's energy is one of risk ~ and at this time, one of epiphany, if we allow ourselves to pull back the veil. We can realign ourselves with sacred wholeness.

What are you in the process of completing? What new or renewed doors are opening up to and for you? Where are those doors leading? What is your next level? How will you find your way there? What dream will enfold you at this time?

Silence

Silence is a power in and of itself. I have sat in silence in private mediation, in gathered grief, in anticipation of medical procedures or diagnoses, in awe of natural phenomena, and many other places.

By far and away, the most powerful silence I experienced was in October 1988 on the Ellipse in Washington, DC. I was working as a volunteer on the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. Fifty-two acres of quilt panels commemorating people who had died from AIDS. Fifty-two acres of silence. Everyone who walked through the area, from street people to grief-stricken friends and family to members of Congress, either did not speak or spoke in brief, hushed tones. As I traversed the Quilt, I discovered that the closer I was to the perimeter, the louder the voices were. However, the normal-toned voices which sounded loud to me were all outside the perimeter. As soon as anyone's feet entered the hallowed ground formed by the Quilt, voices quieted and stilled. No signage requested or required it. Everyone simply felt the need for silence.

The only exception to the silence was at the podium where individuals read the names of the people for whom the panels were made. I had my turn in that spot, reading. And wept while reading, as so many others did before and after me.

Many aspects of our lives are inundated with sound to the point that we nearly fear silence. We understand its power without instruction. What is it that we fear? Power? Intimacy? Diminishment? Strength?

How do you feel about silence? What was your most poignant experience with it? Do you practice within silence?

When I Grow Old

My life has been blessed by a series of events ~ or perhaps more truly, a splattering of events ~ that have led me to ponder life as a Crone.
Here is my story:

I have met myself as an old woman,
an impossibly old woman,
living inside
an impossibly old, hollowed out tree....
in another lifetime.
She is/I am
strong,
healing,
determined.
A shape-shifter.
A spirit walker.
A seer, in every sense of the word.
I feel her within me.
I feel me within her.
I am afraid.
I am fearless.
I know nothing.
I apprehend all of life.
I hear the voices of the stars.
I dance to the music of the spheres.

I feel that old woman within me.... ever since she first showed up, in a journey, in a dream, in a conversation, more than 3 years ago. She shows herself when I need to see her. Whether I want to see her, to hear her does not matter. She stares me down, daring me to ignore her ~ or try to ignore her. Her laugh is full and dry, a sandpaper drum.

How often  are we presented with the opportunity to confront our future? to face down our own fear of aging and of death? to befriend who and what we will become?

Possibilities abound. What qualities will grow? Wisdom? Silence? Vision? Voice? What will diminish? Need to be seen? Soft skin? Desire for admiration? Fear? A new adventure approaches, quietly, noisily, expectantly, surprisingly ~~ so many moments approaching and flowing around me.

What do you see in your future? How does age affect you? Do you embrace its approach? Do you reject it? Are you afraid of the changes that come with age? Have you had an opportunity to converse with and learn from your elders?

Avoid the Trap

I am often surprised by the number of people I know who, at the mere mention of the name "Steve Jobs," immediately have a negative comment to make. Whew! How much energy it must take to hold on to the psychic energetic of judgement.

What I find is that the man, the human we all knew and loved or hated as the case may be, was brilliant.

This quote struck me full in the face following on the heels of last weekend's Death:OK event. Like monkey-bread, it fell into three distinct yet related pieces. Unlike monkey-bread, it was by no means sugar-coated.

The first piece was the very start, "Remembering that you are going to die...." Who wants to remember that? Our culture is so intensely death-averse that the mention of remembering and my own personal death in the same phrasing shocks my system. Yet I certainly have more years behind me than before me. Friends and loved ones have died, some at ages younger than mine currently.

The final piece that struck me was "You are already naked." Huh? I'm sitting in a public coffee shop, drinking a cuppa ~~ so I know he's not talking about my physical being. Yet coupled with the first piece of remembering my own mortality, I must admit that I am already undone, exposed, uncomfortably visible. Like everyone around me, I am going to die one day. Is my pretense of physical immortality fooling anyone? I seriously doubt it.

It's the middle part, "avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to lose" that hit like a sucker punch to the solar plexus and left me breathless. Here's one of the most creative minds of our time, who'd already been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and survived it once, giving a commencement speech at Stanford University and talking about death.

"Avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose." I consider the number of times I stopped myself from doing something, going somewhere, facing a challenge, because I thought I might lose something ~ prestige or power or appearing knowledgeable or a person's caring. In the end, at some point, all those things washed out to sea anyway and returned different on the next tide.

I'm grateful for my life, my health, my family and friends as well as an entire host of other things. Right now, I'm grateful for the words of a creative genius who died too young yet left an incredible legacy to the world.

What strikes you most strongly in the quote? Why? Do you resist remembering that you are going to die? Why or why not? How does talking about death and mortality affect you? What might you consider doing if you avoided the trap and threw caution to the wind?

Talking about Death

We live in a culture where the mere mention of death is taboo. Unless it's in a movie. Or The Walking Dead. Or the Grateful Dead.

Full-blown discussions are totally out of the question. Spending my entire day yesterday with 500 other people immersed in activities, discussions and presentations focused on every aspect of death was awesome.

It began with two keynote speakers. The first was Barbara Roberts, the former Governor of Oregon and advocate of Death with Dignity. She spoke briefly and passionately about her experiences as her husband Frank was dying of lung cancer. Her book Death without Denial, Grief without Apology: a Guide for Facing Death and Loss chronicles her experiences of grieving.

The second keynote was longer, given by Stephen Jenkinson, founder of the Orphan Wisdom School, a teaching and learning house in eastern Canada. As a storyteller, he related stories from his two decades of work with people dying and grieving that were chronicled in his recently published book, Die Wise: a Manifesto for Sanity and Soul. His presentation overflowed with his compassion, dedication, humor and hard truth. He expressed his views and experiences reverently and irreverently and all who listened, all 500 of us, hung on his every word.

I attended sessions for three of the four breakout times:

• the shamanic practice of meeting the soul friend who will accompany me through my death passage; 
• writing my own obituary;
• practicing mindful photography for intimate care-providers as a loved one is dying.

Friends who were there attended other breakout sessions. I didn't see any of them in mine. We met up at lunch and shared our feelings and our session titles. Everything else was too new or too tender or too long a tale.

What I recognize within my own heart and soul is that I struggle with reclaiming the D words: Death, Dying, Dead. I've spent years giving them up for the more politically correct passed over, departed this reality, is no longer with us. All of these terms prevent me from facing that the person who has died will not be returning. I will no longer see her face, hear his voice, feel her hand in mine. If I continue to think in terms that are less than final, do I allow myself to fully grieve? to embrace the memories? What also came to me through every session and encounter during the day was the tip of another iceberg: If I deny the word and the depth of its meaning, will I miss the fullness of life? Will I put off embraces, passions, experiences thinking that not only they but also those who might share them with me will always be around? How do I balance the sense of finality with the expression of joy? So much to ponder!

How do you talk about death? What's been your most recent experience? Is it different now than when you were younger? How do you feel when you hear the D words? Why? How do you respond?

October New Moon in Libra

Wow! It's been a long time since I've written in this blog. September was a wild ride month. Anyone else experience that? Lots of energy buzzing and zapping around with the eclipses, the equinox and Mercury retrograde. It's good to be on the other side of that.

Now there's a New Moon in Libra ~ which is all about relationships ~ and that will be greatly assisted by being past the wild and wacky energy of the past month!

Now is the time for balance. Settling in just enough to make me recognize my own need for self-care in all areas: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It's also the time to honor communications as the leading edge for growth. Listen with an open mind. Speak from the heart's truth. Remember to express gratitude.

Continuing on the path of change, making big plans and keeping track of the details finds support at this time too. It's about Choice: tension or release? movement or stagnation? healing or rage? being awake or staying asleep? owning what needs to be healed or projecting it on others?

Personally, I'm being challenged to be more centered and reflect what is being mirrored to me by the world. I continue to learn to use ~ as well as to rest ~ my voice, speaking clearly from my own truth and expressing my feelings. If I believe in my purpose and myself, I can stand in relationship with those around me without causing harm to either myself or the other. I am also working through and with balancing the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. For me, this balance has been going on for years. It's a dance I enjoy having.

I recall something one of my former teachers said: "Each time you let go, each time you learn a lesson, it will come back to you in the old way again. Only the next time, you will go deeper to release it. And so it will go until you are done." Learning the lessons, evolving to the next level, continues in a spiral, looping back over and over again so the mastery can get deeper and deeper.

What lesson are you learning? What is the truth that is seeking you? What change is poking itself into your life? How do your relationships support you? How do you balance it all?

Embrace Change

www.EarthAngelsArt.com

On the front of the card:

Wear red shoes.
Embrace change.
Give gratitude a voice.
Love with your whole heart.

On the back of the card:

I will not be afraid of things changing. I will enjoy the moment I am in and not worry about what comes next.

As I prepared to draw a card, I paused, took a deep breath, released it and focused on "What do I need to hear today?" This lovely angel was the card I drew. I grinned as I read the small phrases on the front. When I turned it over, the focus on change and living in the moment rang true within my heart.

Several years ago, I recall a saying making the rounds among my friends: "The only constant in life is change." So incredibly true! I really cannot count on things staying the same forever. Just as the year rambles its way through the changing seasons, so does everything in my life.

Yet so often I hear people talking as though attempting to keep those changes at bay with statements like "If only the children stayed that age" or "I'd love to be able to run like I did in high school" or even "Those were the days." When I let those phrases, and so many more like them, go through my head or get stuck in my mind or heart, I step outside the present moment and into the past. That can be a fun place to visit, but not to stay.

Life is all about change. The different colors of the leaves in Fall. Barrenness in Winter. New life in Spring. Wildly abundant growth in Summer. The seasons remind me to allow for that change and run with it. Enjoy the season that exists right now, that brings me life.

What's been a recent change in your life? How do you handle it? What do you expect to happen? What happens when you resist it? How do you feel? What can you do to embrace change in your life?

Faith in Myself

Usually I have a pleasantly upbeat attitude. Lately, though, I find myself rocking wildly between upbeat and beaten up. This emotional roller coaster takes its toll on me when this happens.

Sometimes, maintaining equilibrium in the midst of everything life tosses my way is not as simple as at other times. This happens to be one of those more challenging times.

I have several decisions to make ~ important decisions, life-changing decisions, radical truth decisions. Every hillock and valley the roller coaster careens over and through leaves its tracks. If these decisions, or any one of these decisions, was not present in my life, maybe the sense of vertigo would abate. Not gonna happen. Because every one of these decisions is here, demanding attention now.

This morning, when making my cuppa, I was struck with joy at seeing this Teabag Tarot attached to my teabag. The first part of the koan, wisdom in your actions, felt a bit flimsy. I am not secure in the wisdom of my actions. I move forward, as openly and honestly as I can without leaving myself vulnerable to attack as I maneuver through the daily minefields. Am I wise? Well, as wise as I can be under the circumstances.

It was the second phrasing that twanged the chord in my heart: faith in your merits. I have been feeling wobbly and anxious, challenged and singled out, with a notable lack of faith in myself. This little piece of paper gave me pause to re-evaluate my personal truth: I am lovable, capable and worthy. What I think, feel, do and say matters. I am a positive influence on others. Funny how reading those four simple words on a tag attached to a teabag can boost my spirit and carry me through my day.

Do you believe in your merits? What are they? Can you list at least three? How do you feel when you do list them? Say them out loud. Do you feel different? List them somewhere where you can see them throughout the day. Look at them when anyone, including yourself, attempts to belittle or diminish you.

The Page of Wands

The Labyrinth Tarot ~ Jack/Page of Wands

As I sat in the sultry air of my house this evening, I decided to draw three tarot cards. I felt a call to change up the overwhelm of the still, hot air. Each card had its own message ~ all three running together:
First, the Emperor representing the ability to take formless matter and give it shape, organization and structure.
Second was the Page of Wands: Beginning of a new journey, transformation, learning new ideas spiritually, finding the creative side within, responding to a new challenge and finding a new side of oneself.
The final card was the World which indicates completing a journey or a trial and being on the threshhold of another journey. It's about seeing the big picture and recognizing that one is a part of it, on the correct path.
The cards appeared to be an auspicious flow!

I was fascinated by the center card, the Page of Wands. It felt like the hinge, keeping the other two sections joined together, yet movable.

Generally, the Page of Wands indicates that things begun in the past, perhaps quite a while ago, are blossoming now. More than that, there continue to be new things (adventures, approaches to life, ideas) filled with creativity and inspiration. All imbued with positive energy. Something new is brewing ~ an experiment? an exciting new project? Or perhaps simply awe at the beauty and wonder of life all around.

The draw of this particular card was that it echoed something that's been playing at the edges of my vision for some time now: It's a time of change; a time of newness; a time of adventure. I love when a divination tool, such as the Tarot, speaks directly to the immediacy of my personal moment in time. This one brings with it clarity and a smile!

Do you ever use cards as a means of divination? How do you feel when the meaning of the card matches what's happening in your life? What do you do to stay positive in the midst of changes? How do you express your own creativity?

Creative Spark Igniting

The Enchanted Map oracle cards by Colette Baron Reid

From the guide book:

You are a clear channel for Divine creativity.

There is a spark of creativity in you, and you have every reason to move forward with optimism and hope. Open yourself to inspiration and allow life to show you its beauty and your part in co-crating it. This is the perfect time to give birth to an idea, start a new relationship or job, or begin any endeavour. Attraction is high as you connect with others who can co-create joyous experiences and join with you in expressing the finer aspects of life. Watching a spark turn to a flame and stoking that fire is a gratifying activity.






In my journeys of the past two weeks, as I drew from this deck of 54 cards daily, this particular card showed up three times. I shuffled each time. My traveling companion also shuffled and drew cards. Still, on three different days, twice as a single draw and once as part of a patterned layout, Spark turned up. It was the only card that showed up 3x.

Significant? Certainly, to me. "There is a spark of creativity in you." The voice inside my head responded, "No duh." I write: in blogs, as a freelancer, in book reviews. I do crafts that I give as presents, use as exchanges for other work, or sell outright. I compose and tell stories online and in videos. All of these take creative energy.

Yet this card arrived in my hand three times. Why?

Maybe because even though I know these things, even though there is actual evidence that the creative spark glows within me, I deny it. Or I find ways to diminish or discount it.
"Anyone could do this."
"But her story is so much better!"
"There's nothing original about my work."
No need to go on ~ my creativity abounds in my denials!

As I return to work ~ and to the routines that bind me to that work, I plan to maintain the essence and the memory of that card: Spark. At times, it may feel overwhelming to remember ~ and I may forget for a while ~ the joy of creativity. I promise myself: I will remember!

How do you diminish your own creative spark? What is one joyous way you can help yourself remember it? If something shows up in your life 3x in fairly rapid succession, what do you think? how do you choose to respond to it? What is your next step on your creative path?

Emotional Flow

Oracle of the Dragonfae by Lucy Cavendish

From the guide book:

"... From time to time, I have found my own sadness overflow, and it is at those times that I need to return to water, to commune with that element's wisdom until I am calmed, soothed, and refreshed. ... Know that simply by going to a body of water, this can be your bath, a lake, river, pond, puddle or even oceanic majesty, you will be soothed. ... Your life swirls and flows like water...keep moving too, to avoid stagnation in sadness. Sensitivity is yours for this lifetime, ...allow your sensitivity to flow,..."





After a healing session with a friend, I drew this card from the Oracle of the Dragonfae deck. The commentary, from Andelle's point of view, aligned well with the healing session. Sometimes I am, if not precisely sad, certainly out of kilter with my most centered, calm and productive self. At these times, I find myself drawn to bodies of water ~ from hot tubs and soaks in claw-footed bathtubs to Lakes Michigan, Trillium and Union to the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. Sometimes even a walk in the rain is calming. Having always been sensitive, even to the point of empathetic, I have learned to use the water to assist in allowing for, as the card suggests, emotional flow.

Since recently returning from a trip to the Ocean, I feel more in that flow than before I left. I feel more awake to my own emotions, more aware of the subtlety of actions and reactions in others, more alive.

Much of what I do in my life involves supporting and listening to others. Setting personal boundaries and protecting myself from being emotionally hijacked by their lives, actions and stories, is vital to my own health and well-being. I am grateful for healing sessions with friends as well as for the diversity of divination decks that remind me of the importance of balance and flow.

What do you do to keep your emotional flow balanced? How do you recognize when you need to readjust yourself? How often do you need to realign? Is it a constant timeline (for example, every other month or daily) or is it fluid, triggered by specific or particular events? What assistance reminds you to be grateful?

July 2015 Aquarius Blue Moon

July 31st is the second Full Moon of the month which makes it a Blue Moon. This Moon is eight degrees Aquarius and with the Sun in Leo, there is opportunity for choice: open to the group or detach and go solo. Or find the balance between independence and interdependence.

This Full Moon is also alive with vision and new horizons. Like a TV dish, it draws insights from the ether. Because of its capacity to focus on the future, it has trouble in the present. Create the ideal and keep the feet firmly planted on Mother Earth. Be sure the foundation is solid and be willing to illuminate whatever fears, tensions or apprehensions show up. Deal with them. Feel them. Face them. Upgrade those feelings. Breathe through any changes or breakthroughs. And be ready for any 'ahas' that may show up, for any radical upgrades in thinking, organizing, perceptions of reality.

What are you feeling as this Full Moon lights up the sky? How can you open yourself to changes? What is the Full Moon lighting up within you? How solid is your foundation? What can you do to shore it up?

Am I a Writer?

Words repeat inside my head:
If you want to be a writer, you have to write.
And:
Waiting until you feel inspired, may keep you waiting forever to write.

The questions arise again. Those internal insecurities about being good enough... creative... about having something to say... about someone wanting to read what I write.

What do I need to write? Not very much. Stories float around inside my head. Questions, curiosities, challenges all start my thoughts forming characters, places, quests. An image of a rope tumbled on the beach begins here:
He grabbed hold of the rope and tugged, checking the tension, feeling the strength. It held fast. He put his hands, one ahead of the other, on the rope, set his left foot against the rock face at knee level and pulled himself up. His right foot found purchase on the rock face, and he was off. Hand over hand, feet moving up the rocks.....

This is one of the adventures floating through from that image. Where will it go from here? The stories crowd inside me, looking for passage from one world to the next. The only require a pinhole to find their way out.

I need time, a computer or tablet, paper and pen or pencil. The first often is the most fragile, the slipperiest to reach. Now on to use mine differently.

What do you desire to create? How strong is your desire? How do you define yourself? How do you want to define yourself? What will you do to make your best definition come true?

Cancer New Moon ~ 2015

http://www.nasa.gov/sites/default/files/thumbnails/image/nh-charon.jpg

Today's sky reveals ~ or does not reveal ~ the Cancer New Moon. However, it's also the day that reveals the New Horizon's images of Charon, the largest of Pluto's moons, up close and personal. What a remarkable event!

The Cancer New Moon is all about emotional fulfillment... finding what sparks your deepest love and most expansive passion. It may refer to partnerships. I'd say look beyond those because even partnerships are sparked by something within your heart. Be aware that this New Moon may bring with it more intense and rapidly changing emotions, perhaps creating some raw and exposed feelings. Breathe through them. Continue to love yourself and honor all parts of who you are.

The images from Pluto ~ and its moon Charon ~ arrive in perfect timing. In mythology, Charon is the ferryman who carries the souls of mortals into the Underworld, Pluto's realm. Since Pluto is the symbol of the hidden, of what seeks to be revealed, of the deeper darkness within, the New Moon is the most auspicious time to be in the presence of Charon, the guide into that Underworld.

What passion is bursting forth in your life right now? How is the hidden part of you peaking through and showing itself? What is the coinage you will use to pay Charon to cross into  the Underworld? What will you bring back?

Relaxed Mind

I began my day today with a cup of tea ~ which provided this lovely Teabag Tarot comment. Reflecting on several recent discussions, I chuckled and shook my head when I saw it... that relaxed, creative mind also calls forth these quotes or images. It's as though the mind, given the space and the stillness, creates what it most needs to thrive.

One friend would refer to it as the Law of Attraction. Relaxing my mind, reaching for the higher vibration, attracts the flow which, for me, shows up as creativity. For someone else, it may show up differently. I want to attract creativity. I like the feeling of that creative flow. So here I am, writing about it.

When I feel tense (as in distracted, upset, stressed, or overwhelmed, to name a few sources of tension) my brain and being shift closer to or into survival mode. At that point, creativity is not bubbling forth as an option. I am into protecting myself. Everything is focused on that end. Even though creativity and rational thinking may be great allies, they are difficult to access. If I'm fortunate enough to recognize that I've gone reptilian, I take a minute or two or more to refocus, to shift. I breathe deeply. Or I stretch my limbs. Or I go outside, change the scenery. It generally doesn't take long.

After my breath returns to its normal, less constricted pace, and my muscles find movement comfortable, I can pick up a pen or sit at a keyboard and write or grab a brush and paint or look for images in a magazine. Anything to keep myself balanced and relaxed. Then even the muscles of my face relax into a smile and I find centered space and joy.

Understanding that creativity finds many forms, what does your mind create when its relaxed? What activities keep you centered? What clues does your system give to let you know you're tense? How do you shift from tense to relaxed?

Capricorn Full Moon ~ July 2015

Another Full Moon is upon us! If you're lucky and you've looked up in the night sky over the past few days, the moon has been delightfully and wonderfully growing into its fullness. As its grown fuller, its moved away from two very bright spots in the night sky, Jupiter, and the brighter spot, Venus. Gorgeous!

With Pluto being the Ruler of the Underworld, there is much hidden, darkly emotional movement happening at this time. It opposes the warrior Mars and squares the Nodes, making another Cardinal Cross ~ which always carries a whallop.

In the Earth sign of Capricorn, the place of material manifestation, this Full Moon queries: What are your values? This Full Moon wants you to be grounded, to focus on commitments that run deep into your soul. How can you balance those values with your daily world?

The question of balance goes even further because of the Cardinal Cross: Be aware that you may feel needy and reactive (South Node in Aries). Let that neediness and reactivity settle down before taking any actions (North Node in Libra) and moving forward.

Opportunities may show up with a sense of duality: work or family/personal; right or wrong; miscommunication or healing; crisis or opportunity. Breathe through them. Take your time with decisions. Work on self-affirming habits. Adapt to demands of the times.

What is this Full Moon revealing to you? What is the light at the end of the tunnel? What is the buried treasure that you are uncovering? What do you value?

Adjusting Perspective

Every experience, every thought, every lesson we have, shows up in our lives from one perspective: our own. No matter what we do, we cannot entirely change that.

One definition of perspective is "true understanding of the relative importance of things; a sense of proportion." The word's origin comes from medieval Latin: perspect- [looked at closely], and the verb perspicere, [to look through].

Our perspective on an event or comment is always seen through our own eyes, our own experiences, our own values. We have nothing else. However, like the pigeon perched above the city, we have the opportunity to change that view. We can perch ourselves in the middle of a busy street, on a housetop, on a 10-story apartment building or on a 80-story skyscraper. We have the capacity to adjust our perspective.

My personal experience is generally starting in the middle of the street ~ surrounded by the murkiness of whatever was just slung at or buzzed by me. It's dangerous there. Sometimes I wallow in whatever is happening on the street, often unintentionally, because I'm reacting ~ and I am in the middle of it all.

At those exact moments, it's difficult to shift perspectives. It's a struggle to remember that I can fly; I don't have to muddle across the active street. Spreading my wings, getting lift, rising ~ all have their own challenges. Once I do that, though, I can adjust my perspective, the view of what's happening, and breathe differently.

What do you do when you find yourself in a metaphorical street fight? How do you feel when things get thrown your way? Do you feel the need to change perspective? If so, how do you do that? If not, how does that work for you?

Summer Solstice 2015

Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year and the shortest night of the year, arrives today. The majesty of the Sun shining through 14 to 20 hours is awe-inspiring. Then Lady Moon shows herself, this year in a dainty growing crescent, for so brief a span.

This Summer Solstice brings with it more renewal. There have been a number of gateways of change and shift happening in 2015 ~ even though the energies may have begun as long as two years ago.

Solstice is a time of celebration, and in particular, of fire and fecundity. Look at the flowers, at the gardens, at the fields. Every thing is in bloom, bringing with it ripeness and sweetness. This year, many of my gardener friends have told me that their gardens have ripened early. They continue to speculate ~ and noisily discuss ~ about the duration of the growing season. Will the plants continue to produce their crops (berries, tomatoes, etc.)? Or will they complete their growing cycle more quickly, leaving a fallow time to fill out the remainder of the summer?

Summer Solstice also brings with it a time of reflection. It is one of the Quarters that marks the seasonal calendar. I choose to burn incense ~ sage, to cleanse and renew; frankincense to reconnect with the Holy Mystery. Drumming calls in the directions and honors the guides who show up and grace the entry into a new season. Ritual always connects me, connects us, with the threads running through our lives and all of Life in, on and through the Earth.

What do you do to celebrate the Summer Solstice? Why? How do you honor the change of the seasons? Are they important to you? Why or why not?

Doom or Blessing

KC, short for Kama Chameleon ~ What WERE her parents thinking, or on, when they named her?, focused on the application she was filling out.

What kind of work had she been doing most recently? Well, KC was what’s termed a ‘seasonal worker.’ It’s funny how that works out because ‘seasonal workers’ fill a multitude of positions: agricultural workers, holiday workers, summer vacation workers; and come from a variety of places: high school and college students, single mothers, undocumented workers, to name a few.

How did she fit into this mix? She was a ‘cafeteria lady’ at the grade school during the school year, working 3-4 hour shifts when students were in school. In the summer, she worked at Jimmie Joe’s General Store at the edge of the city, on the road leading to the lake and woods. She was always up by 5 a.m. to be at work by 6. 

Last week, as she was getting ready to head to Jimmie Joe’s, her phone buzzed. It was a text from Jimmie ~ not the old man who’d started the business, but his daughter who was the current owner/manager ~ “Call me before you leave the house” read the text.

KC called.

“Hey, KC,” Jimmie said.

“What’s up, Jimmie?” KC replied.

“Well, uh, it’s kinda like…”

“Out with it, Jimmie. Are you firing me?”

“Not exactly,” said Jimmie. “It’s just that, well, they started work on the road today.”

“Sure. That was planned. I was about to head out the door to get ahead of traffic when your text came through.”

“Yeah. But what wasn’t planned was the backhoe taking out a piece of the bridge. They have it blocked off.”

“Wow. Really?” said KC. “How long is it going to take to fix?”

“Well, that’s the problem. They don’t know. They’ve already started arguing about who’s fault it is and who’s going to pay for the repairs.”

“That could take a while. So what’s the problem?”

“Well, KC,” said Jimmie. “I don’t need you to come in if no one can go camping or fishing from this direction. The only way out now is across the old Casson Street bridge north of town.”

“Oh. I get it. So no one will be buying stuff at the store, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay,” said KC. “Glad you caught me before I left. I’ll call you later to check on things.”

“Okay,” said Jimmie. “Talk to you later.”

After they hung up, KC stood at the kitchen sink looking out into the yard. She was stunned. She needed the work to make ends meet. What was she going to do now? She turned, grabbed her travel mug of coffee and sat down at the table. Before she could stop them, the tears began. 

“Oh, shit!” KC said out loud. “What am I going to do now?” She put her head down on her arms on the table and let herself cry.

A short time later, KC got up, walked into the bathroom and washed her face. She looked at herself in the mirror and repeated her question, “What am I going to do now?”

She went into the bedroom, pulled out her laptop and turned it on. What was that site her brother kept telling her about? Somebody’s list….? Oh! Yes. Craigslist, right? She typed it in and there was a pause as the page loaded. Like her brother had suggested a half dozen times recently, she now looked at the ‘help wanted’ section. There was one for a part time gardener, two days a week. Another for a line worker at the factory. Another for a companion for an elderly woman. As she read them, she started thinking, “I can do this. And this. And maybe this. I don’t want to do that one.” Soon she began replying to the ads ~ which led her to filling out the application to work as a companion for the elderly. She found her attitude going from frustration and fear to hope, excitement and looking forward to change.

That backhoe’s accident which first looked like it spelled doom, might just lead KC to a new job that won’t depend on the season!

What situation have you experienced that looked bad at first and then turned into something good? How did that happen? Are there other situations that appeared bad that might have a good side to it?

Faith in One's Merits

Thirteen months ago, I wrote about feeling like a failure. The two blog posts that followed continued the journey back to balance.

Today, things were reversed. My Teabag Tarot tag this morning was "Have wisdom in your actions and faith in your merits." I felt the tug of the phrase throughout the day. By day's end, I was tumbling into the sense of self-imposed wrongness. Pausing to re-read this tag lifted my spirits like a jolt of caffiene.

"Have...faith in your merits" was the wave I rode back to the Light. Deciding to look up the word merit, I found "the quality of being particularly good or worthy, especially so as to deserve praise or reward." Was I worthy? Was I good? My wonderful internal gyroscope responded with a resounding YES.

What does it mean to have faith in my merits? The possibilities take my breath away! It means believing in myself, in my own worthiness as a person and in whatever situation I find myself. It all has to sstart wit me ~ or more precisely, within me. I have to believe in myself. If I don't, there is no reason anyone else should ~ and I won't believe them even if they say they do. My strength arises from those moments of doubt and struggle, yet continuing to recognize my own brighter self.

What are your merits? What gifts make you worthy of recognition, of praise, of reward? Do you have faith in your own merits? What do you do when your faith in yourself falters? How do you re-balance yourself?

Full Moon in Sagittarius, June 2015

Aaah. Another Full Moon. Have I ever said that I love the Moon? I believe my first, most ancient love was Lady Moon.

This month's Full Moon is in Sagittarius. Besides which, it's in Mercury Retrograde. What could possibly be more compelling?

Sagittarius is all about faith, wisdom, publishing, foreign travel and the quest for truth. This Full Moon will be right there. Personal life, world events, all focussed on these same issues... going on a journey, writing, religion... watch for them! Your belief system may be challenged or you may feel the need to defend your faith or you may be roused to a stronger sense of purpose. All this can give you a feeling of being unstoppable, able to take on the world! Careful of being overconfident. The high may be endorphins which dissipate along the way to leave you challenged and with fewer resources that you expected.

What is pulling your forward during this moon? How do you choose to proceed? Are you feeling challenged? or righteous? Where is your next step leading you?

Fallow Time

© Copyright Richard Hoare

Talking with a friend of mine recently, I mentioned that I had felt myself in a low period. Not depressed or upset. The term that rose into my consciousness: fallow.

I thought about what I knew of the word; mostly from years of living in farm country. Driving around the region where I live, I noticed fields left fallow. The term settled deeply into me. What does it mean to be fallow?

I decided to investigate the term 'fallow.' Encyclopedia Britannica online told this origin story of its usage: "...in Europe and the Middle East in early times, arable land was divided into two field or groups of fields; one group was planted to wheat, barley, or rye, while the other was allowed to lie fallow until the next planting season to recover its fertility. After cropping, the first group of fields was turned to fallow, with the livestock permitted to graze on the stubble and enrich the soil with their droppings." From dictionary.com: "not in use; inactive."

That spacious, blank feeling I was having had all the sense of being fallow. I didn't feel particularly generative. Nor did I feel particularly lost or adrift. Something was bubbling within. Not being the time for productive growth does not mean there is no growth.

The image I chose shows a fallow field; one that is not in use. Yet it is not barren. Often we choose to name this growth weeds. Experience informs me that any seed growing within offers unique experiences. Sometimes I need to allow the free growth rather than focussing my energy on a more direct route.

What are the weeds that grow in your fallow time? What gift do they bring you? How does being fallow help your creativity? How do you feel during a fallow season?

Getting By With Friends

Currently, many of my friends are in various stages of hurt or alarm or fear or struggle. It's almost as though the Universe is calling upon us to realign our very selves. [Which may indeed be the case, but that's for a different post.]

Some of my friends need to move ~ from one coast to another; from one town to another; from one country to another. Each move is calling forth vastly different strengths from these folks.... and from their friends.

Some of my friends struggle with aging and dying parents ~ arranging hospice; supervising trips and moves; sitting beside them as they breathe their last; organizing memorials. So many different ways to do and be with those changes.

Some of my friends face their own health issues ~ knee replacements; stents; diabetes; broken bones; hypertension. The lists of these can go on and on; and eventually will.

As we go through these issues, these stresses, we have the opportunity to reach out to each other, to be a support and to have support. It's most difficult when we think we can handle it all alone. Or we think no one else cares. Or we think asking means we are weak. Our self-judgement makes us forget what John Lennon so wonderfully sang: I get by with a little help from my friends. We need each other. Community is what provides support, and we are that community.

These are each and all things I need to remember myself!

What is going on in your life that could be eased by connecting with a friend? How could you ease a friend's way through a troubled time? Why is it important to you to do that?

Memorial Day Hummingbird

Animal Wisdom Tarot by Dawn Brunke

Today we celebrate Memorial Day. There are various stories about its origin ~ though flowers have been laid on graves since time immemorial.

One story says that it began when former slaves in Charleston, SC, dug up the bodies of 257 dead Union soldiers buried in a mass grave at a Confederate prison camp in order to give them a proper burial, as a sign of gratitude. Another relates that on May 5, 1868, Major General John A. Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic established May 30th as Decoration Day, a time to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. Flowers would be blooming all over the country in May. That year also saw the first large observance at Arlington National Cemetery, including the presence of General and Mrs. Ullyses S. Grant.

What does this have to do with the Hummingbird? With my focus on Memorial Day, war and peace, I drew a card, wondering what gift would present itself to enhance the day.

As ever, I was impressed by the vitality of the draw. In the guide book, the themes of this card are Victory, Success, Recognition, Inspiration, and Illumined Presence. As a nation, we have been fortunate that most of our wars have resulted in victory and success, such as ony war can bring. Memorial Day is for the recognition of our war dead who continue to inspire us to always think twice before heading into battle.

Beyond that, Hummingbird brings a wonderful set of gifts to me: beauty, wonder, awe, joy and free-spiritedness. Hummingbird is its own kind of warrior, bringing forward the needs of Nature to sustain even the most light-winged and precious of her creatures.

Again, from the guide book:
"Receiving this card may signify spiritual insight, expansion or breakthrough. It cautions us, however, not to lose poise. A flash of arrogance, conceit, or out-of-control pride can ignite a wildfire within." It's message is: "Remember what guides you."

Balance. Not such an easy step on Memorial Day. How can I honor the fallen warriors while holding fast to notions of peace and non-violence?

What guides you? What kind of warrior are you? How do you balance giving honor with your other beliefs? What do you value most? How do inspiration and success show themselves in your life?

Resurrection Reversed: A Call to Allow

Colette Baron-Reid, The Hidden Realms

With a focus on What do I need for today?, I 'drew' a card electronically from Colette Baron-Reid's Wisdom of the Hidden Realms deck. For the first time, the card appeared reversed. I felt myself shudder. I recognize the expression of the card is a challenge and it's calling me to change.

From the guide book:
"When the Phoenix challenges you, ...let go and let what doesn't work fall away. Maybe ... you're more comfortable with the familiar, even if you know it's not the best you could create for yourself.
Fear of change is a crippling experience, .... The task at hand is to allow for an ending, as it's timely and right that you do so for the highest good of all. In surrendering to the fundamental purposeful change, you will most definitely find yourself in better circumstances. The action needed is allowing. A rebirth is assured."

Change is a natural part of life. We watch children grow and change. We comment on their changes. We comment on the changes in a person's appearance after getting married or having a baby. These are changes we deem 'good' because we see them as life-affirming. When the changes are grey hair or glasses or divorce or moving, we are not so sure of the blessings in them. As we face those changes, we need to allow them to flow in our lives, to break us down, to break through our defenses and barriers. Allowing for that also allows for the creative energy that redesigns and rebuilds us, that molds us into stronger, more exquisite forces of nature.

I'm in at least one of those places right now. There are changes on my horizon and I find myself challenged to allow the flow of those changes so that a new, creative me can be birthed. The birthing process is messy and painful and intense; the result is always worth it. The reversed Phoenix card is reminding me of that.

What change is coming (or has come) in your life? Are you allowing the change to flow? or are you resisting it? What creative result do you want to birth? How can you assist or allow that creativity to happen?

Another Dystopian Trilogy, part 1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Atwood

In Oryx and Crake, Margaret Atwood writes a stark future. She herself refers to the genre as "speculative fiction" ~ meaning, in her definition, that it could happen. Not that it will. Some have referred to Oryx and Crake as science fiction; others as horror. My personal preference? Dystopian. One view of what the world may look like if we continue our self-destructive, and/or earth-destructive, path.

One element of the novel that fascinates me the most is that it takes place entirely in the life and mind of the main character and narrator, Snowman. Oryx and Crake are both figments of his memory and imagination. As his memories tumble forth, so do the characters develop. Atwood's clarity of style makes this work.

There remains a frightening element to this book even though it was published over a decade ago, in 2003. Much of what is intimated as causing the global devastation (overpopulation, destruction of species, blithe separation of the wealthy and those without less or no access to wealth, lack of a true moral compass, etc.), continues to bounce us forward to this day. Other causes (genetic and bio-engineering of new species of everything from animals to plants to viruses and cures, etc.) remain firmly in the speculative arena, yet tug the reader toward the sense that they are possibly happening.

I'm currently in the midst of the second in the series, The Year of the Flood. The title flood is a waterless flood, more of a vast barren wasteland. I'll continue the tale when I finish the story.

What do you speculate will the future look like? What do you see happening now that causes you to fear? What causes you to hope? How can you affect change in one direction or the other?

Scorpio Full Moon Myths

This Full Moon arrives conjunct with the asteroid Lilith. Lilith bears Her own set of myths that are only magnified when She comes in contact with the Moon Mother. Many of the myths of Lilith cast Her in the role of a power to be confronted and perhaps even subdued. But Lilith is not one to succumb to the demands for Her to bow to what others, especially men, want of Her.

In one of Her aspects, Lilith scares Inanna ~ One of the powerhouse Goddesses ~ because She carries dimensions of Inanna's own archetypical nature. Who, indeed, is She? How does She bear to carry so much power?

In another aspect, She does not accept Adam's demand that She be the particular type of partner he wants. She does not falter in Her belief that the animals do not need Adam, or Her, to name them. Even when that belief means She can no longer be in Paradise and another is created to replace Her. She leaves that Paradise fully understanding She must, and will, survive on Her own. She lives into the fullness of the meaning of virgin as an autonomous, self-sufficient woman; one not needing to answer to any man.

Lilith's story is a cautionary tale, meant to scare women into submission. If a woman dares to challenge the system, she will be banished. This, however, backfires as soon as one realizes that banishment is not necessarily a bad thing.

Lilith is the dark, hidden side of Lunar Myths. She is the One strengthens as well as scares. She can live in the darkness. She can shine like moonlight and pierce that same darkness.

What is your favorite tale of darkness and light? What is your reaction to the stories of Lilith? Why would a Dark Goddess be representative of the light of the Full Moon? How does Her tale touch you?

Full Moon in Scorpio

Sunday brings with it the May Full Moon ~ in Scorpio. Amazing that in the month filled with blossoms and revelations of the Spring to Summer months, the Full Moon shows Herself in Scorpio, the sign dealing with everything we prefer to keep hidden.

It's time to uncover the path and the pieces for the next segment of our journey. These may be parts we don't want to notice much less acknowledge. For the sake of our own creativity and growth, we need to allow that cool lunar glow to illuminate the way for us, no matter how dark and ugly things may look.

The capacity to continue ~ and blossom ~ in our creativity depends on on our willingness to let the shadow ~ our personal shadow/daemon, what we've supressed, denied or disowned ~ out into the light. Embrace our wholeness! Bask in becoming integrated! Commit to the process of growth, of becoming. Walk through worldly chaos to that quiet spot in our core. To do all this requires us to step outside our comfort zone with open hearts as well as guided and guarded psyches.

As you prepare to encounter and embrace the Scorpio Full Moon, consider where you have lost your power, your vitality, your passion. Where are you playing it safe, hiding in the shadows, not playing your edge? What can you discard in order to create what you truly want?

God's Tools

I've spent entirely too much time in my life being afraid of making a misstep off the path. To paraphrase another famous quote, sometimes the path diverges and I've had a choice to make. Do I continue on the one I've been walking? Do I step onto another, that leads in an unknown direction? Which path at which time is the best one for me? The questions rise and fall like my breath flowing in and out of my lungs.

I've been afraid of making mistakes. Felt more of the perfectionist coming out in me. Ha! Not sure the status of being a perfectionist. The feeling arose more from the drive to not fail, not look like a fool, not be wrong.

Then there were the moments when I took the steps irregardless of the consequences. My moves from one place to another, across the country and the world, were like that. Stepping into and out of relationships was like that. My path often found me and I tripped onto it, making mistakes and friends along the way.

I've considered disappointment as God's tool. It's provided me the impetus to shift gears, to reach out, to lean into counting my blessings and looking for the brighter side. I've been afraid that it's meant I'm not good enough for or at whatever. I've sunk into the depths of feeling bad and wanting to run and hide. Somehow, I've found something to rest my gratitude on ~ a phone call or a card, a sunset or a quarter on the street. Something that slips a different tone into my vision and I am grateful.

How have you found your path? How many times has it changed, twisted, turned, diverged? How have God's tools kept you going? What or who has helped you get or stay on your path?