11-11 A Day to Remember

Armistice Day in Philadelphia

"The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month...."

11 is the number associated with faith. The significant timing for the beginning of peace ~ or more precisely, the ending of armed combat ~ after the War to End All Wars.

And yet, it didn't end all wars. Just over 20 years later, another World War began. And there have been skirmishes around the world ever since. As there had been prior to World War I.

An article came across my news feed yesterday. Though I can't provide a link to it, bits and pieces of the article remained with me, hid themselves in my mind and struck a chord in my heart. The gist of what stuck was two-fold. In a paratrooper's letters home, they described not only the conditions of war, but also the conditions of their training for war. Essential to the training is the building of camaraderie among the troops. A trust and companionship so deep that they would be willing to lay down their lives for each other. In truth, during battles, that's precisely what does happen. Even if they do not step in front of a bullet for one another, if they did not act as a group, a team, there's little to no chance of success ~ whether one deems that winning the battle or getting out alive or both. The resonance for me shimmered in an image I had of my father with other veterans: even if they had not fought in the same troop, the same battle, perhaps even the same war, they shared a deep connection. They knew a side of life I certainly did not.

The second bit that struck a chord was the casual way death was addressed in the letters. Death itself was not casual, but death walked with them on the battlefield, jumped with them from the planes. They spoke of knowing that death would come for some, might come for them. Though their words didn't say it directly, they seemed prepared for it. Calm. Perhaps because that's what they needed to be in order to stay safe with their comrades.

I am not, nor have I ever been, an advocate of war. I ache for the families who have suffered losses and for the lives that have been cut short. I detest that money can purchase someone's way out of participating while others are conscripted. Still, I honor and appreciate all those who join their life force with any Armed Forces. May they experience that honoring wherever they are.

How have you been affected by war? by Armed Forces? What stories have you read or heard? How has war ~ and armistice ~ touched your life? Where do you feel camaraderie?

Aquarius New Moon 2017

The Aquarius New Moon occurred at 00:07 UT on Saturday, January 28th. For much of the Western Hemisphere, it will be occurring some time Friday, January 27th.

2016 was a year of endings and 2017 is a year of beginnings. Death and Rebirth cycling through our lives in many ways between the two years. The Rebirth cycle will begin in earnest at the Spring Equinox. So the next month and a half, beginning with this New Moon, will be a time of planning and preparation.

The energy of Aquarius is fresh and expansive. Think big ~ or bigger ~ and think outside the box. So with this Aquarius New Moon find a way to let go, begin afresh expand your outlook.

Aquarius also carries revolutionary energy which is flowing in the Death and Rebirth pattern. More change to come ~ and many people stepping into the control of their individual lives are involved in that change. As we venture into the light of the moon's return, more light will be shed on all that is happening and needing to be changed for the benefit of the global community.

Another factor at play on January 28th is the action planet Mars coming to its home sign of Aries, the first sign in the zodiac. This reinforces new, passionate, independent initiatives. These two together, the Aquarius New Moon and Mars returning to Aries, support moving forward and taking responsibility for that move.

In the midst of all this independent, rebellious, passionate energy, the U.S. is experiencing waves of passionate, rebellious responses to government actions. Those actions, in turn, are a type of rebellious attempt to end and change things in the country. It seems that the Death-Rebirth energies are playing themselves out on every level.

What is ending in your life? What is beginning? What do you feel passionate about? How are you allowing those passions to show themselves? What effect are the endings having on your life? What effect are the beginnings having on your life? What are you doing to take responsibility for the beginnings or rebirths in your life?

Continuing the Season of Death

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn; ....
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything 
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility

~ Mary Oliver

Today was a day for encountering and addressing death.
As I volunteered at a literary fair early in the day, a young woman shared that she was writing a book about death. We discussed the awkward way our culture encounters or ignores both death and the processes that bring us closer to it. We shared resources on the topic and I felt that simple sensation of synchronicity ~ being in the right place at the right time and paying attention to what surfaces. When I asked her what she was writing, she could have dodged the question. She didn't. Her directness opened me to share a resource I'd recently received on the same topic. A brief, but touching conversation and a recognition of not being alone in my explorations of topics relating to death.

Leaving that setting, I received a message from a friend about the likelihood of taking her old dog to the vet to have him put to sleep. She was struggling between her desire to have him out of pain and her attachment to having him in her life. We spent a few moments slipping between that quiet space of friends sharing the unknown sadness and conversing about how or when it might happen.

My next stop of the day was the church where we were going to celebrate the life of a friend who had recently died. I was helping set the hall for the reception happening afterward. During the memorial service, family members and friends shared stories and memories of our absent friend. It was good to share the space, the stories, the farewells. Continuing the celebration and memorial at a local pub, we chatted about the health of other friends and what those challenges might mean in the near future.

As I drove home, I reflected on the conversations and the deep heart space I shared with each and all of the people on this day. I thought of Mary Oliver's poem When Death Comes. Her words talk about grabbing life for all its worth, being alive fully, so that when death comes, which it will for each of us, we can say we were present to all life had to offer.

Until death comes for me or for those close to me, I face the choice of avoiding it or confronting it or embracing it or acknowledging it. They aren't mutually exclusive choices ~ and my choices may change from one moment to the next.

Where do you stand in your expression of life? How much do you invest in avoiding the topic of death? How do you want to be remembered when you die? What more would you like to do in your life?

Stepping into the Abyss

Quote by Edward Teller

On various occasions in our lives, we find ourselves at the edge of an abyss. Going forward forces us to step into the unknown. Going back is simply not a choice. There is no back.

We arrive at this edge from a variety of paths. Death, anger, divorce, loss, illness, or a wide swath of other possibilities, all of them carrying moments of pain and passages of darkness. Not simply the darkness of a room when the light is turned off or a moonless night or when we throw the covers over our heads. It's the darkness of the deepest jungle at night, the water a mile under the surface, an unlit cave in heart of the earth. A dark we can't comprehend until we are in it.

At this point, with wide blind eyes, we feel our way forward, hear the pebble skitter over the edge and wait to hear it touch ground. It never does. That's the darkness of the abyss. We know it when we hear it or feel it or sense it. Our intuition does not err. So what do we do? Is there a safe way forward? That depends on the definition of safe. Going forward is the only option. So we stand at the edge of the unknown and take one more step.

Where will this next step take you? How far have you come to get here? What lies behind you? What do you feel? hear? sense? Where are you headed?

New Moon in Scorpio: Shifting our Alignment

Meteor showers assail the skies around us all the time. Sometimes, we can even see them. A New Moon provides even more darkness than other night skies.

Today's meteors are named the Taurids. According to Wikipedia:

The Taurids are an annual meteor shower associated with the comet Encke. They are named after their radiant point in the constellation Taurus, where they are seen to come from in the sky. Because of their occurrence in late October and early November, they are also called Halloween fireballs.

While the night sky is alight with these meteors, the New Moon rests Herself in Scorpio. This New Moon is about our power and our transformation. She shows us what our power is and provides the opportunity to align our life's purpose to it ~ or not. We always have choice.

As with every New Moon, this one is about releasing ~ like the deciduous trees in Autumn ~ and allowing the energy to pull us deep within and center us in our core. Scorpio, under the care of Pluto, ruler of the Underworld, is all about death and rebirth, completion and new beginning. Resting in Scorpio means there is no avoiding diving deep into the Self. If we allow it and trust our instincts, we can arise a true hero with strength and renewed purpose. Scorpio's energy is one of risk ~ and at this time, one of epiphany, if we allow ourselves to pull back the veil. We can realign ourselves with sacred wholeness.

What are you in the process of completing? What new or renewed doors are opening up to and for you? Where are those doors leading? What is your next level? How will you find your way there? What dream will enfold you at this time?

Avoid the Trap

I am often surprised by the number of people I know who, at the mere mention of the name "Steve Jobs," immediately have a negative comment to make. Whew! How much energy it must take to hold on to the psychic energetic of judgement.

What I find is that the man, the human we all knew and loved or hated as the case may be, was brilliant.

This quote struck me full in the face following on the heels of last weekend's Death:OK event. Like monkey-bread, it fell into three distinct yet related pieces. Unlike monkey-bread, it was by no means sugar-coated.

The first piece was the very start, "Remembering that you are going to die...." Who wants to remember that? Our culture is so intensely death-averse that the mention of remembering and my own personal death in the same phrasing shocks my system. Yet I certainly have more years behind me than before me. Friends and loved ones have died, some at ages younger than mine currently.

The final piece that struck me was "You are already naked." Huh? I'm sitting in a public coffee shop, drinking a cuppa ~~ so I know he's not talking about my physical being. Yet coupled with the first piece of remembering my own mortality, I must admit that I am already undone, exposed, uncomfortably visible. Like everyone around me, I am going to die one day. Is my pretense of physical immortality fooling anyone? I seriously doubt it.

It's the middle part, "avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to lose" that hit like a sucker punch to the solar plexus and left me breathless. Here's one of the most creative minds of our time, who'd already been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and survived it once, giving a commencement speech at Stanford University and talking about death.

"Avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose." I consider the number of times I stopped myself from doing something, going somewhere, facing a challenge, because I thought I might lose something ~ prestige or power or appearing knowledgeable or a person's caring. In the end, at some point, all those things washed out to sea anyway and returned different on the next tide.

I'm grateful for my life, my health, my family and friends as well as an entire host of other things. Right now, I'm grateful for the words of a creative genius who died too young yet left an incredible legacy to the world.

What strikes you most strongly in the quote? Why? Do you resist remembering that you are going to die? Why or why not? How does talking about death and mortality affect you? What might you consider doing if you avoided the trap and threw caution to the wind?

Talking about Death

We live in a culture where the mere mention of death is taboo. Unless it's in a movie. Or The Walking Dead. Or the Grateful Dead.

Full-blown discussions are totally out of the question. Spending my entire day yesterday with 500 other people immersed in activities, discussions and presentations focused on every aspect of death was awesome.

It began with two keynote speakers. The first was Barbara Roberts, the former Governor of Oregon and advocate of Death with Dignity. She spoke briefly and passionately about her experiences as her husband Frank was dying of lung cancer. Her book Death without Denial, Grief without Apology: a Guide for Facing Death and Loss chronicles her experiences of grieving.

The second keynote was longer, given by Stephen Jenkinson, founder of the Orphan Wisdom School, a teaching and learning house in eastern Canada. As a storyteller, he related stories from his two decades of work with people dying and grieving that were chronicled in his recently published book, Die Wise: a Manifesto for Sanity and Soul. His presentation overflowed with his compassion, dedication, humor and hard truth. He expressed his views and experiences reverently and irreverently and all who listened, all 500 of us, hung on his every word.

I attended sessions for three of the four breakout times:

• the shamanic practice of meeting the soul friend who will accompany me through my death passage; 
• writing my own obituary;
• practicing mindful photography for intimate care-providers as a loved one is dying.

Friends who were there attended other breakout sessions. I didn't see any of them in mine. We met up at lunch and shared our feelings and our session titles. Everything else was too new or too tender or too long a tale.

What I recognize within my own heart and soul is that I struggle with reclaiming the D words: Death, Dying, Dead. I've spent years giving them up for the more politically correct passed over, departed this reality, is no longer with us. All of these terms prevent me from facing that the person who has died will not be returning. I will no longer see her face, hear his voice, feel her hand in mine. If I continue to think in terms that are less than final, do I allow myself to fully grieve? to embrace the memories? What also came to me through every session and encounter during the day was the tip of another iceberg: If I deny the word and the depth of its meaning, will I miss the fullness of life? Will I put off embraces, passions, experiences thinking that not only they but also those who might share them with me will always be around? How do I balance the sense of finality with the expression of joy? So much to ponder!

How do you talk about death? What's been your most recent experience? Is it different now than when you were younger? How do you feel when you hear the D words? Why? How do you respond?

Marzenna

From 365 Goddess by Patricia Telesco:

Marzenna's themes are spring, weather, protection, winter, death, rebirth, cycles, change and growth. Her symbols are dolls (poppets) and water (including ice and snow). The Polish Goddess for whom this holiday is named represents an odd combination of winter, death and fruit field's growth and fertility. As such, She oversees the transitions we wish to make in our lives.

I walked into a used bookstore and saw Telesco's book. When I picked it up to check the Goddess of the date, I saw a paper marking today's date. It was the page for Marzenna. Since my heritage is Polish, I decided to check Her out.

This is a time of transitions, of changes in our world. That's especially true for each person individually as well as the community in total. Spring is about rebirth, changing the death time of Winter into the new greening of Spring that blossoms into the fullness of Summer. It's a time of transformation.

My life right now is about celebrating the changes, the transformations, that are happening within its boundaries. Around me are a variety of changes: deaths, graduations, surgeries, retirements, marriages. Some of them are directly related to me ~ some are even mine ~ but many belong to the people around me. These affect me deeply in a manner different from those that are directly tugging on my heartstrings.

Marzenna is the Goddess ~ and the celebration of that Goddess, or more precisely, the passing of that Goddess of Death, Rebirth and Change. In the celebrations a straw poppet of Marzenna is burned so that Newness can come into being. It's a passage and Marzenna is the Guardian of Change at the gate.

What Spring holiday or holy day resonates most for you? How do you celebrate the passages of time? What is transforming in your life in this moment? How will you support it?

Celebrating Birth and Death Days

What a lovely surprise recently when going to Google's search page. It was personalized for my birthday! On the one hand, sweet and touching to see. On the other, scary that Google wishes its clientele a Happy Birthday ~~ because it does know the birthdays of all who use Gmail or Google+ or Hangouts.... the list goes on.

My birthday was an incredible mix of celebrations ~ birth, life and death. I celebrated my own birthday in person with my partner; received greetings via mail, email, text, phone and social media; and spent time alone, contemplating my life. I played with my new 'toy' ~ a Samsung Galaxy S tablet ~ that I received as a gift. What fun!

My life has been a lovely string of events orchestrated by my parents, by my choices of partners, career and friends and by my daughter. Currently, I imagine hearing Frank Sinatra's voice singing, "Regrets. I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention." Or to remember. It's all been a most amazing blessing.

Lately, including on my birthday, I've been in and around several conversations about aging and about death. One friend posted a picture of her unsolicited AARP card (oh, dear!) bemoaning her aging. Another commented on the number of people she's known lately who've died (or passed over, if you prefer). One wept over her son who committed suicide; another laid a spread of Fall flowers on the ground for a daughter-of-the-heart who died too soon. One spoke about not being able to be around a mutual friend dying of AIDS; another about her fears of her own mortality. One spoke softly about missing her deceased husband; another ranted about her dead father. All of these conversations happened within the past week.

That's the season that occurs around my birthday as well. Death and dying are part and parcel of Fall. Yet there's beauty and harmony in the circle and cycle of life that happens too. We're coming closer to Halloween, All Souls' and All Saints' Days ~ Samhain, the time of year when the veils between the worlds are thinner, easier to pass through. All this is what I love about my Fall birthday.

What do you think of Fall? What do you celebrate on your birthday? Do you think about the fullness of the cycle of your life? How do you feel about it?

World-Ending Meditation

Whew! It's been a while since I've sat for a significant time in meditation. I'd forgotten how altering it was ~ and that forgetting happens almost immediately when not sitting regularly.

When I sat in meditation today, I slipped into that deep, quieter-than-relaxation place. I felt my shoulders drop in relaxation, my breathing deepen and slow, the voice in my mind go still. It was more profound than my words can describe. I merged soundlessly and seamlessly with another dimension of reality.

Shortly after moving out of meditation, a phrase from a R.E.M. song filled my mind:

"It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine."

I interpreted that as an intrinsic Tarot announcing itself to me. Like the card Death, meaning a transformation, transition or significant change. Perhaps revealing one that is already present in my life. Meditation set the stage for open awareness, a time to notice what is happening internally and in the world around me.

How do you interpret songs that 'show up' in your awareness? Do you meditate? If so, how does it help you? If not, would you consider trying it to see what happens?

Facing Midnight

©2014 by ML Monroe

A Clear Midnight

by Walt Whitman

This is thy hour O Soul, thy free flight into the wordless,
Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done,
Thee full forth emerging, silent, gazing, pondering the themes thou lovest best,
Night, sleep, death and the stars.




Sometimes I face midnight still wrapped in the book I'm reading or the blog I'm writing or writing/reading/learning social media or preparing for the next day. It's not the same approach as Walt Whitman describes. I love the concept of having that time for "free flight into the wordless." What does that even mean in today's connected electricity-bound culture? How can there be such a time as "wordless"?

My soul resonates with that concept. With letting go of all the hustle and bustle of the day. Really letting go. Being silent. That's not only being quiet. Silence is deeper. It permeates every aspect of my senses ~ it's a broader quieting, one that doesn't simply refer to a stilling of the noise. It goes beyond that, to a stillness of my entire being beginning at the center and expanding more fully.

Those themes Whitman mentions strike chords within me too. Night, the moon and the stars are all beloved by me. I am a creature drawn by and into the night. Yet until I read his poem, I never considered death a theme walking alongside the others. As the moon and the stars and the deep darkness of night continue to wane and wax and wane again, I will bring that theme out of its hiding place within me so it may stroll beside me instead. I will see what death has to say.

How do you interact with Whitman's themes? Are you a creature of the night? or do you prefer the light of day? What themes would be more suitable for daylight? What themes draw you?