Leo New Moon, After Eclipsing

Photo Credit: NASA/Aubrey Gemignani

All this week, in every venue, talk eventually turns to the eclipse. Every news outlet, all social media, each conversation on the street begins with some comment about it. "Did you see?" "Where were you?" "We seem to have survived..." "Didn't realize the temperature would drop so significantly!"

With the Leo New Moon and the solar  eclipse happening at virtually the same time, the energetic effect of each increased with the power and impact of the other. Leo is all about the will, specifically, choice and action. After our experience of the new moon and eclipse, what action will we choose to take?

One of our most significant choices in life is whether we choose to see an experience as happy or miserable, as positive or negative. Our first reaction may be anger or upset or angst or fear. We cannot change the feeling. What we can change is how we move forward with it, how we see it in the larger perspective, how long we allow ourselves to sit in the stew of those emotions. We have the opportunity to use our will to move forward in whatever manner we desire.

The solar eclipse not only brought up emotions, some sensitive people had physical reactions as well. Like when we fall in love or we lose a job or someone leaves or dies, our system may respond with restlessness, a lack of appetite or an upset stomach. It's how we experience and cope with rapid change. Prior to the eclipse, discussions focussed on whether to be outside during the event, be with large or small groups, or be alone. People had celebrations, camped out, created rituals. No matter where we were or with whom, the expansive eclipse was a communal experience.

We are moving through one of those liminal places where what we choose as our focus ripples out to help form our communal future. The eclipse and this Leo New Moon are not only about our desires but also about our will to create and co-create the story of our future. Choose concisely, wisely and with care.

What did you do for/during the eclipse? What emotional responses did you have? What physical reactions did you experience? How did you choose to respond? What action are you choosing to move forward into? How do you want your future to be? What part of the story of our communal future are you willing to write?

New Moon in Aries

This New Moon in Aries arrives on the 7th of April at 6:39 a.m. PT. It is also a Super Moon, a Perigee New Moon, at its closest orbital point to the Earth. Along with that, there are other energies making this one of the most intense New Moons of the year. It is time to draw deeply on our own individuality and use our personal freedom and creativity.

This New Moon's Sun/Moon alignment is conjunct Revolutionary Uranus and Warrior Eris while opposite Dark Moon Lilith and square to Underworld God Pluto. Very powerful and balanced with Masculine and Feminine energies as well as Light and Dark energies. These lead us to wholeness.

The Balance that comes with this New Moon carries a wisdom for quiet reflection and strength enough to recognize and acknowledge the times when simply we do not yet know. This New Moon is all about acting for LIFE rather than simply for SELF. It's time to clear out expectations and allow life to gift us with its wisdom along the path.

It also brings caution in dealing with change in our lives during this month. Even though it is a time of transition, we need to enter it with strength for making order from chaos both in our personal lives and in the more global perspective.

We also need to keep in perspective and in mind that all of this comes on the heels of a shatteringly powerful eclipse during the past Moon cycle. Be gentle with ourselves. Feel fully and follow our gut instincts. Stay awake and aware!

How are you feeling as this New Moon washes over you? What are you going to give up during this New Moon? What newness are you going to embrace as we move forward toward the next Full Moon? How will the Balance of Masculine and Feminine, Light and Dark show up in your life?

When I Grow Old

My life has been blessed by a series of events ~ or perhaps more truly, a splattering of events ~ that have led me to ponder life as a Crone.
Here is my story:

I have met myself as an old woman,
an impossibly old woman,
living inside
an impossibly old, hollowed out tree....
in another lifetime.
She is/I am
strong,
healing,
determined.
A shape-shifter.
A spirit walker.
A seer, in every sense of the word.
I feel her within me.
I feel me within her.
I am afraid.
I am fearless.
I know nothing.
I apprehend all of life.
I hear the voices of the stars.
I dance to the music of the spheres.

I feel that old woman within me.... ever since she first showed up, in a journey, in a dream, in a conversation, more than 3 years ago. She shows herself when I need to see her. Whether I want to see her, to hear her does not matter. She stares me down, daring me to ignore her ~ or try to ignore her. Her laugh is full and dry, a sandpaper drum.

How often  are we presented with the opportunity to confront our future? to face down our own fear of aging and of death? to befriend who and what we will become?

Possibilities abound. What qualities will grow? Wisdom? Silence? Vision? Voice? What will diminish? Need to be seen? Soft skin? Desire for admiration? Fear? A new adventure approaches, quietly, noisily, expectantly, surprisingly ~~ so many moments approaching and flowing around me.

What do you see in your future? How does age affect you? Do you embrace its approach? Do you reject it? Are you afraid of the changes that come with age? Have you had an opportunity to converse with and learn from your elders?

Faith in Myself

Usually I have a pleasantly upbeat attitude. Lately, though, I find myself rocking wildly between upbeat and beaten up. This emotional roller coaster takes its toll on me when this happens.

Sometimes, maintaining equilibrium in the midst of everything life tosses my way is not as simple as at other times. This happens to be one of those more challenging times.

I have several decisions to make ~ important decisions, life-changing decisions, radical truth decisions. Every hillock and valley the roller coaster careens over and through leaves its tracks. If these decisions, or any one of these decisions, was not present in my life, maybe the sense of vertigo would abate. Not gonna happen. Because every one of these decisions is here, demanding attention now.

This morning, when making my cuppa, I was struck with joy at seeing this Teabag Tarot attached to my teabag. The first part of the koan, wisdom in your actions, felt a bit flimsy. I am not secure in the wisdom of my actions. I move forward, as openly and honestly as I can without leaving myself vulnerable to attack as I maneuver through the daily minefields. Am I wise? Well, as wise as I can be under the circumstances.

It was the second phrasing that twanged the chord in my heart: faith in your merits. I have been feeling wobbly and anxious, challenged and singled out, with a notable lack of faith in myself. This little piece of paper gave me pause to re-evaluate my personal truth: I am lovable, capable and worthy. What I think, feel, do and say matters. I am a positive influence on others. Funny how reading those four simple words on a tag attached to a teabag can boost my spirit and carry me through my day.

Do you believe in your merits? What are they? Can you list at least three? How do you feel when you do list them? Say them out loud. Do you feel different? List them somewhere where you can see them throughout the day. Look at them when anyone, including yourself, attempts to belittle or diminish you.

Faith in One's Merits

Thirteen months ago, I wrote about feeling like a failure. The two blog posts that followed continued the journey back to balance.

Today, things were reversed. My Teabag Tarot tag this morning was "Have wisdom in your actions and faith in your merits." I felt the tug of the phrase throughout the day. By day's end, I was tumbling into the sense of self-imposed wrongness. Pausing to re-read this tag lifted my spirits like a jolt of caffiene.

"Have...faith in your merits" was the wave I rode back to the Light. Deciding to look up the word merit, I found "the quality of being particularly good or worthy, especially so as to deserve praise or reward." Was I worthy? Was I good? My wonderful internal gyroscope responded with a resounding YES.

What does it mean to have faith in my merits? The possibilities take my breath away! It means believing in myself, in my own worthiness as a person and in whatever situation I find myself. It all has to sstart wit me ~ or more precisely, within me. I have to believe in myself. If I don't, there is no reason anyone else should ~ and I won't believe them even if they say they do. My strength arises from those moments of doubt and struggle, yet continuing to recognize my own brighter self.

What are your merits? What gifts make you worthy of recognition, of praise, of reward? Do you have faith in your own merits? What do you do when your faith in yourself falters? How do you re-balance yourself?

Full Moon in Sagittarius, June 2015

Aaah. Another Full Moon. Have I ever said that I love the Moon? I believe my first, most ancient love was Lady Moon.

This month's Full Moon is in Sagittarius. Besides which, it's in Mercury Retrograde. What could possibly be more compelling?

Sagittarius is all about faith, wisdom, publishing, foreign travel and the quest for truth. This Full Moon will be right there. Personal life, world events, all focussed on these same issues... going on a journey, writing, religion... watch for them! Your belief system may be challenged or you may feel the need to defend your faith or you may be roused to a stronger sense of purpose. All this can give you a feeling of being unstoppable, able to take on the world! Careful of being overconfident. The high may be endorphins which dissipate along the way to leave you challenged and with fewer resources that you expected.

What is pulling your forward during this moon? How do you choose to proceed? Are you feeling challenged? or righteous? Where is your next step leading you?

Be Teachable

Colette Baron Reid ~ The Enchanted Map

From the guide book:

Wisdom comes from participating in life, not just reading about it. This card suggests that you might not have enough knowledge about what you seek, the direction to take, your circumstances, or the nature of your inquiry. Important information is coming. Note is the time to go to school, ask a person who might know more than you do, or find a teacher or a course of study so that you can more clearly understand what the next right action must be. Sometimes life unexpectedly sends you to an unfamiliar school, and you must learn by experience. Now is a time to be teachable, open to changing your preconceived notions. Be a student, and be willing to say the most powerful mantra of all: "I don't know ~ yet."

When I first saw this card, I thought, "Of course. So fitting for a teacher." Then I read what was written in the guide book. Ahhhh. Quite a different story. This is about being humble and accepting the education as it is presented. More of a wake up call than a pat on the back.

To reinforce this particular lesson after drawing this card, I read a friend's post on Facebook about an experience she is having and we shared a private exchange about the lessons she is learning. My head leans toward saying this kind of experience couldn't happen to me ~ it nudges me in that direction. My heart and my soul know a different story. I ache for the pain my friend is experiencing. I hold her in my prayers. I bow in thanks to be a support and to honor the teacher she is being for me.

I have preconceived notions of my strengths ~ and they are being tested. My pride is currently being challenged to the point that I am being redefined by it. I have a definition of who I am that is being redesigned and charred to the point that I am not sure I will recognize it when it's done. I am learning about what is most important, and what is not. I am a student once again.

Are you in a space of being teachable? What or who in your life has a lesson for you? Are any of your preconceived notions being challenged? How will you face that challenge?

Solar Eclipse and Scorpio New Moon

The Solar Eclipse coincides with a Scorpio New Moon on October 23, 2014. The New Moon is at zero degrees Scorpio: a signal of completion and initiation. Scorpio is about truth. When we are truthful with ourselves, and in the light of the eclipse, releasing our karmic loops, we have the opportunity to begin anew. We need to use this time to look at our Shadows: our fears, anxieties and old patterns. If we see them clearly, we can then move forward into a new pattern for our lives.

The Hoopoe is a totem of completion, the trinity and creative capacity. She carries the ability to tap into ancient wisdom, energy body and connection to higher realms. She balances with Mother Earth and is quick of movements: making decisions, increasing spiritual awareness and tuning in to personal internal rhythms. Hoopoe sings her own song and lives through her own power. Being in the sun taps into Hoopoe's wisdom. She is skillful and creative in deterring predators in both the spiritual and physical worlds. A perfect totem for the Solar Eclipse and Scorpio New Moon!

I sense an era, a phase of my life, coming to completion. It's not a huge change. There's a tug on the sleeve, a nudge of an elbow, a nod pointing me into another direction. My heart feels both apprehension and joy at the possibilities as they open to me. I'm glad to have the Eclipse, the Scorpio New Moon and the Hoopoe reassuring me that all is well and as it should be.

What phase of your life is coming to completion? How do you feel about that occurring? What supports you in the midst of change? What spiritual wisdom guides you?

Silly FB Questionnaire

When I logged onto FB the other day, I was greeted by one of those silly questionnaires. This one wanted me to answer the questions to discover my totem animal. My immediate thought was, "What the heck? I might as well give it a go and see what happens." So I did. This is the result:

"What animal walks by your side? ... Your totem animal is the owl,... Owls represent wisdom, and the ability to see what others do not. This means your mind is unique,... You observe situations in a 'positive' aspect, meaning you probably suggest that there is good in everything. Owl people make excellent spiritual teachers...
Some additional details about owl totem: Intuition, ability to see what others do not see; ...change; capacity to see beyond deceit and masks; wisdom; traditional meaning...is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic of a life transition, change."

I have to chuckle about this. It's almost as though Owl wants to remind me that It is in my life for the long haul. My high school mascot was an owl ~ Its presence began there. Five years ago, I attended a Women's Dreamquest where we drew power animal cards to place us into groups. I drew Owl (along with 4 or 5 other women). Three years ago, I spotted a recently killed young barn owl at the side of the road and felt called to do a ritual to send Its spirit home. In short, yes. I already knew my connection to Owl and Owl's connection to me. It was, and is, humorous to think that a FB questionnaire would identify the connection as well.

Have you taken any of the FB quizzes? Have you 'discovered' anything that you didn't already know? What do you think of these kinds of questionnaires? Do you consider them fun? serious? educational? helpful? What animal has shown up repeatedly in your life?

Hope

Wisdom of the House of Night: Colette Baron-Reid

From the guidebook:
In the darkest forest, the moon can hide to make it hard for people to see their surroundings, and some are blind to the next step and find that they give in to fear that there will never again be safety or light. ... Have hope, and only good will come of it. Take one step towards your dream.

During darker times of my life, I've felt abandoned by friends, by family, by lovers, by nature, by God/Spirit/Goddess, even by my very self. No light shines, nothing visible by which to see a path, a way forward or a way out.

I made it through these dark times and found one of the most important things carrying me through, waiting for me to allow it to shine light for me was Hope. Hope dwells in that deepest part of me ~ so deep that I often forget its existence; I certainly forget its power.



Emily Dickinson said it most beautifully:

"Hope" is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
Ans sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
....
I've heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Hope is always within our grasp ~ even closer than that ~ it 'perches in the soul' whether or not we acknowledge  or even notice it. In many versions of myths from around the world, it is hope that truly saves the day. Hope that allows brightness and light into the darkest corners so we recognize our own way out.

How has hope appeared to you? When you have allowed hope in, what has changed for you? How important is hope in your day-to-day life?

Monday #1

With my focus right now veing the practice of Lent, I find myself pulling wisps of wisdom from a variety of sources. For those who really know me, this is how I operate in the world. By this time in my life I've learned that almost everything is connected in some previously unknown way to everything else.

Today was an active, beautiful day. I found myself at peace with my surroundings while getting frustrated with at least one person. What frustrated me was the feeling of not being heard ~ or more specifically, not having my email read thoroughly ~ before getting upbraided. My first reaction was to feel angry.... "Who does...?" and "I already said..." and "What the...?" Fortunately, it was an email format. So I didn't respond. Well, I started to, but deleted what I wrote, knowing it was the exact wrong thing to do. I breathed and let it go. Besides, I was too busy with everything else to pay much attention to it.

Why is acknowledging that incident so important to me? Because I learned something about myself from it. I learned that I can be petty and that I can get angry over little things. Yes, I knew those things about myself. Every time I recognize and acknowledge doing those things or acting in those manners, I come closer to letting go of those behaviors. I don't have to dwell on them or put myself down for having them. Just notice ... and let go.

What actions or feelings or attitudes have you noticed in yourself? Are they helpful? How are you letting go?