A New Year: 2020

As the New Year began, I read several posts suggesting, or perhaps hoping, that 2020 would be a year of clear vision. Like so much of life, it depends on where we begin, where we hope to go, and how attached we are to how we get there or what it looks like when we arrive.

When we open our senses and sensibilities to the experiences of a new year...a new decade...we may actually find a rawness there. A wildness. A birthing. These are messy things. Not only because they're new to us, but also because they take us to the edge, to a place we may not be totally sure we want to, or even are able to, claim.

Let's be honest about the 'clear vision' thing too. It's not about clearing our vision to being 20/20. It's about clearing out what keeps us near-sighted, only able to see to the end of our noses. It's about clearing out what hounds us to stay far-sighted, only able to see months or years into the future. In each of those modes, we miss the Now, the current moment. Near-sighted, we miss the milieu of life around us. Far-sighted, we miss what lives and breathes right before and beside us.

On to the wildness, the rawness of it. The Now seems tame because it is immediate. Yet to be Present to the Now means to face whatever arises in this ever-present, ever-changing moment. We often say the only constant in life is change. What happens when we go beyond saying it to acting it out? We open ourselves to the sudden wild squalls that arise within us, the deepest feelings that show up, happy or sad or angry or willful. We acknowledge them and experience them, even if we choose to keep them to ourselves. We allow the wild within us to remain untamed and real.

In the Now, we forgive ourselves for the moments when we go beyond feeling to expression. We notice the wild expression and acknowledge it, asking forgiveness for the moments when our expression strikes out at others. That's part of the wildness, the rawness of the Now, of being in the moment, of being awake to and seeing clearly the complexity of who and what we are as we enter this new year of 2020.

How do you define 'clear vision'? Is it important to you? How do you use 'clear vision' to set your goals? What is wild in your personal Now? What do you attempt to tame? How is your life different when you are open to your own wildness? 

Autumn Equinox 2017

The Equinox is all about equal time. Not surprising that it leads us into the sign of Libra, the Balance. Harmony. Focus. Collaboration. Compassion. All of the aspects of the balancing sign of Libra.

One month ago, we were in the midst of the energy of the Solar Eclipse. Was that truly only one month ago? It seems like a lifetime has evolved in the interim. That eclipse touched at least 14 states in the US ~ maybe more, if counting those that were beyond the 90% totality mark.

Between then and now, several hurricanes, earthquakes and wildfires have touched even more lives. It's almost as though the corona of eclipse lit up more than the sky. And here we are, at the moment in the year where we can almost hear the wheel crank toward autumn. Before it fully clicks into place, we hang in the momentary balance of Light and Dark.

Although we call this day both the final day of Summer and the first day of Fall, neither season moves quite so precisely into the next. Yes, the tilt of the Earth is at its farthest reach. If the sky is clear enough for us to see the Moon, we will also find Jupiter close by, but only in the dance of light before sunset. At least until the 25th, when Saturn steps closer to the Moon.

Fall is the time of year when we switch our goals from expansion and growth to the harvest. Reaping what we have sown. And it signals a general slowing of the pace. Not quite to full relaxation, but certainly to a more mellow pace. The light begins to lessen and the dark and quiet pervade our world. Hopefully, we find our rhythm syncing with Nature's. We feel the cyclical time pulling at us. Quiet ourselves and listen.

What goals and intentions that you planted in the Spring are you reaping now? What are you going to turn under, plow into the soil, this Fall? How will you slow your pace? How do you feel the rhythm of Nature? Where do you find harmony? What in your life needs to be balanced?

March 2017 Aries New Moon

The Aries New Moon is the first New Moon of the astrological year. A new opportunity to set intentions into motion accompanies it. Mars, the planet of action, influences us to get our plans going ~ but Mars is influences by realistic Saturn focusing us on planning and preparation before acting.

2016 was all about endings; 2017 is all about new beginnings. It's the time to release what no longer serves our best interest. Aries brings an energy of leadership, action and new ideas. It moves us in the direction of charting new courses through new waters. What will we do? Who will we be? How will we show up? This New Moon is the one to set the intentions about what we will manifest throughout the coming year. There is no wrong path. There are no mistakes. Stay awake and aware of the guidance the Universe is providing to you.

More influences at the time of this Aries New Moon include a conjunct with Venus, which is currently in retrograde, and a trine to Black Moon Lilith. Though deeply and more directly influenced by Mars and Saturn, the New Moon is also dancing with two strong Goddess energies as well. Even with Venus in retreat, there is influence and power there. They emphasize and draw out the mythic and the spiritual for us.

New Moons in general signal the end of one 28-day cycle and the beginning of the next, making it the best time for moving forward. The best time for taking those actions and stepping into the new projects in the first two weeks as the Moon moves from New to Full. For the Aries New Moon, it's time to set our sights higher and dream bigger than we have before. Get the best possible intentions out into the Universe ~ and this New Moon will help create the action plan.

What are your dreams and wishes for the coming year? How can you upgrade your goals? What dreams are you seeking to manifest? How can you change your strategies to help your goals and dreams become reality? What new, creative energy do you want in your life? How can you best embrace possible changes?

Finding Freedom

Have you ever been so intimidated by your own fears, apprehensions and anxieties that you lost track of your goals, perhaps even your spirit or soul?

Many times in my life, I've opted for what might appear as the easy way out. I've let fear overtake my deeper desires and sense of self. It hasn't always been as clear or easy a choice as it may seem. I've struggled. Tossed and turned, whether asleep or awake, with the questions. Prayed over it. Rarely released it.

Then there have been those times when the decision to move forward, to move in the direction of the fear rather than away from it, was clearly the best choice. Wow! Tough options to feel my way through.

One of those decisions happened shortly after a cross-country move. I was married at the time of the move. My husband had many challenges in his life. He was depressed and an alcoholic-addict. These things weren't evident to my young adult self when we met, dated and married. They blossomed after we went through an emotionally traumatic year when his father was diagnosed with cancer, my father died suddenly of a heart attack, then his father died after a brief and brutal period with the cancer. I became stronger from the experiences. He, on the other hand, lost himself. So when we moved cross-country, away from our support systems, we intended to start afresh. That didn't work. The pain within him traveled cross-country with us. Before we had been there a year, I moved out and filed for divorce. It was not an easy decision. I knew he was in pain. I knew my strength could support him. I loved him dearly. I was afraid of the judgment others would pass on me for divorcing him. There was no single determining factor in my decision. I only knew, deep in my soul, that I could not carry him to wholeness. He had to do it on his own. Or not. Depending on me would not help him heal. My decision freed us both to move on to a new life.

Another decision stemmed from a co-worker suggesting that I go overseas to teach. He told me about his time teaching in Germany and said it was a great experience. At the time, I was single and he thought that would be a good move for me. Within a month of his suggestion, I was heading to an international schools hiring conference in New Orleans. By the end of the weekend, I had a contract to teach computer tech in Cairo, Egypt. I'd never taught computer tech before, but I convinced the interviewers that I could. I was going to live in Cairo! Doing that on my own, I was later to find, was the most wild and wonderful adventure I could ever have chosen. But what it meant in the short-term as I prepped to go was facing a lot of apprehensions and fears. What would I need to take? Where would I live? Would I be able to teach the full range of students? What support would the staff require? Where would I store the things I was leaving behind? How would I continue to pay my bills? The list went on and on. One by one, I faced them down and never looked back.

What decision points have you faced in your life? What part has fear or anxiety played in your decision? Have you discovered a place of freedom from your choice? Do you have any regrets? How do you deal with those?