The Storm, part 2

The Storm exists as more than one moment in time, more than one Gate we pass through. It is a sensation that shifts all of nature within and around.

"When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."

What about all those stormy moments in life? I don't mean the arguments with partners, lovers or friends. Or the occasional emotional set-back when something gets overlooked or goes askew. The Storm is about those earth-shattering, life-rocking moments.

There have been a few moments like that in my life. Moments that defined me ~ or perhaps more precisely, that honed me more sharply into the person I am today.

One of those defining moments happened when my first marriage shattered, and I knew we were careening toward divorce. I'd had a series of major life-changers: quit a job, moved across the country, started a new job, moved within the city. All of the supports in place in our former hometown were no longer available where we were. When we were left to rely entirely on each other, there wasn't enough glue sticking us together.

Almost hesitantly, I said we needed to go to marriage counseling soon or I'd be leaving. Although he agreed, the appointment was never made. Three months later, I moved out ~ my second move since we traversed the country. Even though change carried my life forward that year, I was graced with stumbling into friendships that continue to this day.

The Storm moments in our lives don't have to be overtly tearing us apart. They can have the intensity of an earthquake, deep and internal, or the overwhelm of a tsunami, quick and drenching. Any way The Storm arrives, it leaves us to rebuild ourselves into different people.

What Storms have touched your life? How have they affected you? How has your life changed since then?

The Storm, Part 1

I thought I'd left it behind, that desire to remember everything, every ache, every pain, every wrong anyone had ever done to me. Walked away from the desire to carry it all to my grave. I'd certainly done my work on it ~ as it had done its work on me.

Then I encountered The Storm ~ an event both external and internal ~ that unsettled me, that openly illustrated that I hadn't experienced all the elements to this depth previously. I began to realize how much I hadn't truly let go.....

In this moment, letting go has become a continuing drift from memory to ache to forgiveness and back again. It's not entirely over yet. I've scarcely stepped through the Heart Gate ~ this place where I deeply feel all things bubbling and roiling in intense, wild and wondrous ways. My Shield is down ~ lying in the darkness beside the Path ~ and I'm still upright, still moving forward. Feeling every movement, every shift, both inside and out.

Through my own encounters, I have learned that each person experiences a different version of The Storm, one that is tailored to the individual. The experience is defined as much by how one holds on to personal 'stuff' as what one chooses to hold on to.

No matter, The Storm has its effect. As Murakami's final two lines say:

"When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what the storm's all about."

Have you encountered The Storm in your life? Or perhaps more than one? What changed for you? What changed within you? How are you different?