One Perspective

When I was twenty-nine, I discovered a book titled An Interrupted Life and its author Etty Hillesum. A small, paperback volume. The diaries of a woman who died in Auschwitz at twenty-nine. She spoke so eloquently of life in its day-to-day messiness as well as its deeper mystical qualities.

For me, this quote is a reminder as much as an acknowledgement. It is a reminder to breathe. To notice my body taking in deep breaths. To acknowledge the pause, the rest, between the breaths. In those moments can lie the entire universe. It is in that place where I meet the Divine, where all Creation comes together with the Creator. Not the place where I might hold my breath, but the place where my breath naturally shifts from in to out and from out to in. The place where I don't know in which direction the air is moving. As another mystical writer, T.S. Eliot, put it in Four Quartets, "At the still point of the turning world."

Sometimes, when the world seems at its maddest point, noticing that resting point can return everything to its essential perspective. It doesn't have to be as mad as the Holocaust. It can be overhearing the neighbors argue ~ again; or losing an important paper for work; or waiting for the results of a test. All of those moments are madding. Each speaks to me, to us, of fear or loss or overwhelm. When I can return from those moments, slow the world to more reasonable pace, pause and notice my breath, the madness pauses with it. Although the breath flows both ways, the madness passes and I relax.

How do you read this quote? What do you see/hear in it? What creates madness in your life? How do you recognize the madness? When was the last time you noticed the rest between your two deep breaths?

Resting

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time."

~ John Lubbock, The Use of Life

In our busy, perpetual motion world, sometimes slipping away and finding a place to rest, to relax, to slow down enough to breathe, is the best thing we can do for ourselves. So much of our time is spent being busy ~ with work, with email and the internet, with friends and family ~ a busyness that takes its toll on our mental and emotional health. We begin to think in terms of "When can I get enough time for...?" or "If I only had the time, I'd..." or "Maybe I can do that next...." Time becomes a commodity we bargain with. Taking time to rest, taking time to simply stop and be still, seems beyond our ken.

I've been taking that kind of time for myself lately. I haven't pushed to write these blogs. I've even missed a few days.... and forgiven myself for doing so. I have books to read, reports to write, applications to fill out, people to call. Instead, I've been sitting on my porch, or in front of Starbucks or in the park, resting, relaxing, letting my mind wander wherever it chooses to roam. I find myself lost in creative moments that I do not write down or attempt to capture in any form. I know that the rest, the wandering thoughts, the purposeful quietude, will bring forth the creativity when the time is right. I know that 'wasting time' is decidedly not a waste of time. Its benefits bring me breath and joy.

Do you allow yourself to rest? How do you rest? What form does your 'wasting time' take? What benefit/s does it bring to you? How do you feel after a bout of 'wasting time'?