"There is a difference between being the determiner in your own life and being the controller. We often confuse the two. ... the desire to control is a normal human response to fear. The ability to determine is the ability to remember who and what you are...and to act from the centre of that awareness." ~~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer in The DanceControlling is a much easier path to take. Demanding that things go a certain way ... or that people act a certain way ... or that we present ourselves, our homes, our work, our lives in a certain manner. Even though it's an easier path to take, it's not an easy path. Being in control also means we're to blame when things go wrong. And going wrong is inevitable. Life just isn't controllable. People aren't controllable. Something is bound to go awry at some point. And those 'out of control' moments are bound to create more fear and ~ whoosh! ~ there goes the roller coaster of control once again.
Determining, in Oriah's definition, is the ability to remember who and what we are. Although that sounds like a simple task, the truth is that we often don't remember ourselves. Remembering involves bringing all the parts of us together over and over again as we grow, mature, interact and change. Making this the more difficult path to choose. Choice is key to determining: aware, awake, responsible choice is how we bring our entire being into alignment to determine our life.
Which do you find yourself more attracted to: controlling? or determining? Is it a static, constant attraction? or is it a dynamic, fluid one?