Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Soul Learning

Have you ever encountered a person who somehow for the life of her cannot be kind to you? What do you do when you are around a person like that? How do you interpret and live with and beyond the negativity?

I have a person like that in my work-a-day life ~ a person for whom I am a constant reminder of something distasteful to her.  We do a dance of sorts: I enter the room, she leaves; if I'm in the room already, she does not acknowledge me; when she's in the room, I walk past without saying anything. It's become the 'elephant in the living room' for us. My 'strategy' ~ such as it is ~ is to have as little contact as possible. I have viewed that as the 'safe' approach.

Internally, I've needed to distance myself from the negative energy that snaps between us when we're near each other. Forgiveness and compassion have become my greatest allies. Whenever I catch myself spiraling into the negative chatter inside my head, I remind myself that no one is that negative without being wounded herself. Mostly, this is self-talk about the stress she is or must be under, any good/talented actions I've observed her doing, examining how I have fit or fed into her negative space. This exercise works to keep me both humbled and focused on the other person; both of these keep positive energy in view.

What are your strategies?

1 comment:

  1. I love this piece that you wrote: "Forgiveness and compassion have become my greatest allies" -- something I aspire to where connections seem to be like oil and water. My strategies are to remind myself: "Everyone is different and that's okay." And when they are really bugging me to think of something kind about them (yes, there is almost always one thing) or imagine them as a pure and innocent child...
    Thanks for the blog post and the conversation, Jayna