Sunday, October 16, 2016

Becoming? or Unbecoming?

There are times and days when the place where I want to be in my journey seems a long ways off.... at the very least, in a neighboring solar system if not even in another universe. It feels out of reach ~ unattainable.

When this quote popped up, I realized the disconnected, dissonant feeling surrounding disparate pieces of who and what I already am. Those segments of me seem almost stuck in a position ~ like a standard transmission without a clutch ~ grinding and hiccuping as I attempt a shift.

How do I determine what is truly ME? Some pieces are tied to words and definitions that keep me stuck: friend, sister, mother, teacher, writer, celebrant..... the definitions in particular alter uneasily and slowly.

Even the term stuck doesn't quite fit ~~~ like being stranded midstream with words whose definitions feel tight or sloppy or cumbersome. Like chili made with a smidge too much or too little spice: tasty yet slightly off.

What I love is the thought of being in the process of unbecoming..... shifting how I think about myself and my world.... allowing the flow of creativity to carry me onward. My only cringe is when I consider that who I've been is not who I was meant to be. I don't believe that. I've been what I was meant to be all along.... it's currently time for a change.

Are you still becoming? or perhaps even unbecoming? unwinding the threads of you that have come loose? How do you see yourself? What words describe you? Which words are you redefining? Which are you discovering anew? Which are you stepping into?

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