Thursday, July 10, 2014
The strangest aspect of them was that they surfaced even at times when I was with other people. I had an appointment to get my teeth cleaned, then I dropped off some paperwork at another office, then I went for a massage. None of these activities left me without the company of other people. I drove to the different places on busy streets and highways. There were three very clear, precise moments when I felt this sweep of loneliness: one was walking to the parking garage on a busy downtown street after getting my teeth cleaned, the next was when I got into my car in the garage, the third was when I arrived home and was standing in the bathroom. Each time was like a wave rising up and crashing over me. The strength of them left me at the mercy of the emotion, and wondering why.
I never did figure out why I felt those strong movements of emotion. I learned that feelings can take charge of our lives even when we think all is under control or 'normal.' Loneliness isn't an easy emotion. It's one that I've felt a few times in my life ~ never quite like today. I wonder where the feeling began and why. So like a wave, I wonder where it will even out its ripples and when it might rise up again.
When have you felt loneliness? What have you done? How have you responded? How did it arrive? What do your feel about the sense of loneliness? Do you embrace it? or run from it?