Changing Your Story

Colette Baron-Reid, Wisdom of the Oracle

Self-criticism; the wounded ego; unnecessary dramas

Guidance

The Oracle's message: There is a story woven through the imperfect fabric of life that tells of hurt and loss, rejection and humiliation, self-loathing and arrogance, and all manner of suffering born of unnecessary dramas. It is the old story whose refrain is that you cannot do this, must not go there, should not say that - lest your world come crumbling down. .... Distorted guidance is preventing you from being true to yourself. You are not your story, and the narrator is simply the voice of your fearful part, small and vulnerable and easily soothed.
Relationship message: ...Right now you have an opportunity for important healing, but you must reflect on the stories you weave.... Not only do you need to begin a new story; you need to forgive yourself for telling yourself the old ones.


What are the stories we tell ourselves? How long do we choose to hold on to them? What good do they do?

Anyone over the age of two tells stories. Once language begins forming in us, so does storytelling. It's part of our nature, part of our connection to others. We determine how we fit into our communities through our place in the stories.

So when we begin to tell our personal stories, we place ourselves in relationship to the rest of our world. Stories are words, and words carry power. The old playground adage of sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me is a falsehood. Words hurt us far more than any physical wound. This is true for the stories we tell ourselves as well.

I'm in the process of rewriting one of my personal stories. The details aren't important, but the feeling they created is. It was one of those "poor me" stories. You know the ones: I'm so left out or I've been hurt so much or I'm so misunderstood. The themes are constant and recurring even as the characters change. Even though I cannot change the past, again with the details, I can change how much energy I put into it. That energy drains me ~ and I wind up having less of it for the more positive stories in my life.

The difference for me at the moment, as I work on making the changes, is that I am in relationship with some of the characters in one of the tales. Currently, we are in dialogue about those past moments ~ and working cooperatively to face and make the changes, to own what was our personal reactions as opposed to what was true (not a good word choice in stories) or perhaps what was happening inside the mind and heart of the other. It's a blessing to have this opportunity.

That said, even without those moments of connection with the other, it's about learning how to forgive. Forgive the other. Forgive the gods. Forgive myself. Because holding onto the negative energy of those stories can be a killer in the end.

What stories have you told yourself? Have you changed any of them? How have you done that? How does the energy of those stories effect you? What can you do to begin the process of change? How can you learn forgiveness?