Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Internal Noise

ML Monroe

It is a paradox that we encounter so much internal noise when we first try to sit in silence.
~ Gunilla Norris

Have you ever attempted to sit in silence? I have. More times than I can count over the years. Each time I start, the noise comes. It's as though my brain waits for me to sit in meditation before it opens the floodgates of internal dialogue. It often begins with lists of what I 'should' be doing: laundry, dishes, reading a book, writing.... it goes on and on. Sometimes it goes on to a discourse on why I should be doing ... whatever else. Then there are the conversations I begin to have with others: "Why didn't you clean out the litter box?" pops into my head with an image and the dialogue is off and running. I could go on and on and on with examples. 

I've decided to let the chatter slip into that space that becomes 'white noise' ~ it's not as loud or pressing there. I don't fight it. Sometimes, I say to the chatter, "Sit over there a while. I'll get back to you when I'm done." Occasionally, it even responds positively by doing what I ask. Then the next time I sit down, it might begin again.

The internal noise is like the bubbles rising to the surface on the water. Sometimes they're visible, they catch my attention. Sometimes I'm focused within the depths and don't notice them. Either way, I am okay with the thoughts and rumblings existing. It's all part of the journey of my life.

How do you treat the internal noise that comes when you attempt to sit in silence? How does it feel? Does it whisk your attention away? How do you feel about the noise?

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